Friday, December 28, 2012
first snow
I absolutely love how the world gets quiet when the snow is falling. I could watch out the window for hours.
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
XxmasX
Christmas wasn't too bad! My sister surprised us for a visit!
She bought this mat for our family, and we laughed SO HARD when my dad unwrapped the packaging!
Five of us, together for the first time in A LONG TIME!!
And this gem, only because my sister is eating, and she really seems to be savoring that bite. She would be horrified if she knew that I took a pic of her eating. Also, I love how the dog is waiting with such attention for a dropped morsel.
No picture to accompany, but this was the first year in like five that I didn't call Jeanne. Also, I received ONE card. It was from my German hosts, and was AWESOME!! Really made me smile. I sent them one, too, and I even wrote in German. I'm sure they will get a kick out that!
She bought this mat for our family, and we laughed SO HARD when my dad unwrapped the packaging!
Five of us, together for the first time in A LONG TIME!!
And this gem, only because my sister is eating, and she really seems to be savoring that bite. She would be horrified if she knew that I took a pic of her eating. Also, I love how the dog is waiting with such attention for a dropped morsel.
No picture to accompany, but this was the first year in like five that I didn't call Jeanne. Also, I received ONE card. It was from my German hosts, and was AWESOME!! Really made me smile. I sent them one, too, and I even wrote in German. I'm sure they will get a kick out that!
Sunday, December 23, 2012
Musings from the couch
So, I rolled my ankle on Friday night at boxing class. I've been laid up at home RICEing it for the past two 1/2 days.
Everyone else went to KCMO and bitched about how shitty of a time they had when they returned.
I was snug as a bug in a rug on the couch with wiener dog.
I've been watching a lot of nature documentaries, as usual. Two that really struck a chord, or I guess three now that I think about it: "Silence and Solitude: Yellowstone at Christmas", one about parks of the Balkan Peninsula (Beautiful! I was so thrilled to see that there are still areas pretty much inaccessible by humans and therefore pristine!) and a third one about the numerous species of birds of paradise in New Guinea.
Anyway, while I'm watching these shows, I have A FUCKING EPIPHANY!!
I've decided to see how far this rabbit hole goes.
Everyone else went to KCMO and bitched about how shitty of a time they had when they returned.
I was snug as a bug in a rug on the couch with wiener dog.
I've been watching a lot of nature documentaries, as usual. Two that really struck a chord, or I guess three now that I think about it: "Silence and Solitude: Yellowstone at Christmas", one about parks of the Balkan Peninsula (Beautiful! I was so thrilled to see that there are still areas pretty much inaccessible by humans and therefore pristine!) and a third one about the numerous species of birds of paradise in New Guinea.
Anyway, while I'm watching these shows, I have A FUCKING EPIPHANY!!
I've decided to see how far this rabbit hole goes.
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Sunday, December 16, 2012
simple pleasures v.12.16
Total 180 from last night.
Successful A.M. bang out sesh.
45 miles on Ex-Girlfriend. Gorgeous blue sky, shining sun, no wind, pleasant temps. Probably could have gone in shorts, but I went with pants and did not overheat.
Tivoli a bit later to see my girl's new movie.
Successful A.M. bang out sesh.
45 miles on Ex-Girlfriend. Gorgeous blue sky, shining sun, no wind, pleasant temps. Probably could have gone in shorts, but I went with pants and did not overheat.
Tivoli a bit later to see my girl's new movie.
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Thursday, December 13, 2012
People who say you're hard to shop for, maybe just don't know where to buy beer...
...or Cherry Dr. Pepper.
I've been on the fence about this one, and after much debate, decided that I am a fucking adult and dropped the card in the mail.
My sweet dude who broke it off via text last month's birthday is today, and I have been back and forth about sending a card.
My argument for not was uncertainty that my intentions were not 100% pure. Perhaps a sincere note could actually be a slap in the face? A gloating air that I am the better/more mature person? Or maybe it would give me the proverbial last word, since I didn't respond to the final text. Perhaps it would even be somewhat of a sore spot/salt on a wound type reaction? Although my uncertainty was with "look at me, I'm the better person" train of thought, I'm not sure of the thoughts of the other party and don't want to be obnoxious or perceived as cruel or an idiot.
I did decide to send the card. I was against it all last week, but then I saw Bryan at the lotto show on Saturday. No eye contact was made, but I did see him across the room. He seemed to have been there solo. I just want him to know that I hope/want/know we can be cool seeing each other out. Like, a wave or quick smile. No awkwardness. I understand that things don't work out all the time, or people have a change of heart, or timing is bad, etc. That last thing I want is some one to remain in a situation he doesn't want. I also do sincerely hope that he figures out what he wants. I have periods of darkness, and I know the pain of those depths, and I don't like to see anyone distraught or suffering.
I opted for a card because it is more personal and because I truly believe that I am not alone in my excitement in getting real mail. The surprise of correspondence that is neither junk nor bill.
The stamp, post-mark, handwritten address.
Physically opening the envelope, the anticipation of the written text, studying the style of the letters and noticing how a person loops the cross of her "t" in one stroke into the next letter. Are the down strokes of the "y" or "g" happy and bubbly, or are they hard and straight? Are the letters sloppy, or slanted, or patient and precise?
I went to the store and selected a card that was very appropriate. It's a simple design with a drawing of a beer can. The text on the front reads, "It's your birthday! That calls for a beer!" On the inside, "Doesn't everything? Hope it's happy!"
Simple. Not sappy. Neutral. Light. Not cute. Playful.
I thought for a long time about what I wanted to write on the inside. I remember an article I read over the summer about how the 33rd year was allegedly the most happy, and I remember us having a conversation about it.
The text I wrote follows:
"I sincerely hope that your 33rd year is the best yet! I enjoyed your company; you made me smile and feel good about myself, and while I'm disappointed that the situation ended the way it did, I understand and appreciate that things don't always work out, people have a change of heart, timing is bad, etc. I wish you happiness and luck in the coming year, figuring out and finding what you want."
A heartfelt note that does express how I feel. It also has a tone of goodbye in it.
Possibly even forgiveness.
I've been on the fence about this one, and after much debate, decided that I am a fucking adult and dropped the card in the mail.
My sweet dude who broke it off via text last month's birthday is today, and I have been back and forth about sending a card.
My argument for not was uncertainty that my intentions were not 100% pure. Perhaps a sincere note could actually be a slap in the face? A gloating air that I am the better/more mature person? Or maybe it would give me the proverbial last word, since I didn't respond to the final text. Perhaps it would even be somewhat of a sore spot/salt on a wound type reaction? Although my uncertainty was with "look at me, I'm the better person" train of thought, I'm not sure of the thoughts of the other party and don't want to be obnoxious or perceived as cruel or an idiot.
I did decide to send the card. I was against it all last week, but then I saw Bryan at the lotto show on Saturday. No eye contact was made, but I did see him across the room. He seemed to have been there solo. I just want him to know that I hope/want/know we can be cool seeing each other out. Like, a wave or quick smile. No awkwardness. I understand that things don't work out all the time, or people have a change of heart, or timing is bad, etc. That last thing I want is some one to remain in a situation he doesn't want. I also do sincerely hope that he figures out what he wants. I have periods of darkness, and I know the pain of those depths, and I don't like to see anyone distraught or suffering.
I opted for a card because it is more personal and because I truly believe that I am not alone in my excitement in getting real mail. The surprise of correspondence that is neither junk nor bill.
The stamp, post-mark, handwritten address.
Physically opening the envelope, the anticipation of the written text, studying the style of the letters and noticing how a person loops the cross of her "t" in one stroke into the next letter. Are the down strokes of the "y" or "g" happy and bubbly, or are they hard and straight? Are the letters sloppy, or slanted, or patient and precise?
I went to the store and selected a card that was very appropriate. It's a simple design with a drawing of a beer can. The text on the front reads, "It's your birthday! That calls for a beer!" On the inside, "Doesn't everything? Hope it's happy!"
Simple. Not sappy. Neutral. Light. Not cute. Playful.
I thought for a long time about what I wanted to write on the inside. I remember an article I read over the summer about how the 33rd year was allegedly the most happy, and I remember us having a conversation about it.
The text I wrote follows:
"I sincerely hope that your 33rd year is the best yet! I enjoyed your company; you made me smile and feel good about myself, and while I'm disappointed that the situation ended the way it did, I understand and appreciate that things don't always work out, people have a change of heart, timing is bad, etc. I wish you happiness and luck in the coming year, figuring out and finding what you want."
A heartfelt note that does express how I feel. It also has a tone of goodbye in it.
Possibly even forgiveness.
Monday, December 10, 2012
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Lotto recap
Opted to not go to Chicago this weekend, and I have several excuses. Which are B.O.L.O.G.N.A.
1. my uterus is trying to kill me
2. weather is cold/rainy there
3. roy, carl, and some other people I contacted were kinda busy with other stuff
4. i was pretty curious about band lotto, which was last night.
It was at a new venue downtown, which is a really nice place. Nice tile floor, large bar area with a nice bar top. I would like to see them succeed, and I don't think they will be booking any more hardcore shows since people in the audience can't handle their shit. People were throwing bottles onto the floor, which then became slippery, not to mention the hazard of broken glass. It was disappointing to see happening at a new place that is just trying to do good things for the city. I will say, I do know that one of the participants in the show and who was one of the people smashing bottles, is currently banned from pretty much every other venue in the city. So he obviously has a history of fucking up.
I arrived slightly before 8pm and was punked into standing around for nearly two hours before the show started. There was a lot of people in attendance, which was awesome. I mostly spoke with Ashley and Josh. Also Ron and said hi to his wife and Matt and Clarkson Sr.
I did have a nice time while waiting, though, and did have excellent conversation with Ashley. She and Josh are setting me up on double date with one of their friends who they feel our personalities will mesh well. He's pretty young, 27, but I will agree to at least meet up and if nothing else have a nice evening out socializing with pleasant company.
The show finally got underway and I was pretty unimpressed with the first band. I don't know if it was the sound/mix, or just BassAmp's voice, but I couldn't hear the vox at all. It was very off-putting. The reality also hit me that all these bands were going to be rusty and also none of us were going to know any of the songs. So everyone was kinda painfully standing in their spot and there just wasn't opportunity for movement/singing along.
The bands did get better as the show went on. I admit, that it was pretty awesome to see the usual suspects in different roles. Seriously! Ron on guitar?!? Shaun on vox?!? SZ killing it behind the kit!?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Highlight of the night goes to MH and JS switch-a-roo and the final chorus "Bling me the head of Lob Luzicka". Also, second band, for their cover, went into the intro for "Waiting Room," and my immediate reaction was "NO WAY!" Then when the beat dropped, and they should have hit it back up, Travis yelled, "FUCK You, THAT's ALL We LEARNED!" Badass.
By the last two bands, though, some of the spectators were pretty hammered and starting to move around more. There was also this white trash looking dude who looked like he would be into Nickelback, spazzing out. He had to have been on E or something. Was dancing even when there was no music. Some one threw him on the floor.
There was also a lot of smelly people. Many of whom I have never seen at shows before. I'm curious as to from where they came. Also, I didn't see many hot girls there. I just don't like/don't get the new 'hipster' look that these younger girls are wearing. Did see a dude in that Descendents Xmas Sweater that has been making the rounds online, and I must admit, it was just as hideous in person as I expected from looking at the pictures! HAHA!
Also, Johnny B, that sly dog, kissed me on the lips!!! "just one peck, right here on my cheek. I spun the bottle and it landed on you. just one peck."
"i'm wearing lip gloss."
"that's okay. right here on my cheek."
i lean in, and he quickly turns his head and plants one right one my lips!!!! we all laughed.
Do I regret not going to Chicago? Perhaps. Show last night was fine for what it was, but nothing so fucking awesome that it would go down in history for me personally.
Since we were all teased last night, here is the full song:
1. my uterus is trying to kill me
2. weather is cold/rainy there
3. roy, carl, and some other people I contacted were kinda busy with other stuff
4. i was pretty curious about band lotto, which was last night.
It was at a new venue downtown, which is a really nice place. Nice tile floor, large bar area with a nice bar top. I would like to see them succeed, and I don't think they will be booking any more hardcore shows since people in the audience can't handle their shit. People were throwing bottles onto the floor, which then became slippery, not to mention the hazard of broken glass. It was disappointing to see happening at a new place that is just trying to do good things for the city. I will say, I do know that one of the participants in the show and who was one of the people smashing bottles, is currently banned from pretty much every other venue in the city. So he obviously has a history of fucking up.
I arrived slightly before 8pm and was punked into standing around for nearly two hours before the show started. There was a lot of people in attendance, which was awesome. I mostly spoke with Ashley and Josh. Also Ron and said hi to his wife and Matt and Clarkson Sr.
I did have a nice time while waiting, though, and did have excellent conversation with Ashley. She and Josh are setting me up on double date with one of their friends who they feel our personalities will mesh well. He's pretty young, 27, but I will agree to at least meet up and if nothing else have a nice evening out socializing with pleasant company.
The show finally got underway and I was pretty unimpressed with the first band. I don't know if it was the sound/mix, or just BassAmp's voice, but I couldn't hear the vox at all. It was very off-putting. The reality also hit me that all these bands were going to be rusty and also none of us were going to know any of the songs. So everyone was kinda painfully standing in their spot and there just wasn't opportunity for movement/singing along.
The bands did get better as the show went on. I admit, that it was pretty awesome to see the usual suspects in different roles. Seriously! Ron on guitar?!? Shaun on vox?!? SZ killing it behind the kit!?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Highlight of the night goes to MH and JS switch-a-roo and the final chorus "Bling me the head of Lob Luzicka". Also, second band, for their cover, went into the intro for "Waiting Room," and my immediate reaction was "NO WAY!" Then when the beat dropped, and they should have hit it back up, Travis yelled, "FUCK You, THAT's ALL We LEARNED!" Badass.
By the last two bands, though, some of the spectators were pretty hammered and starting to move around more. There was also this white trash looking dude who looked like he would be into Nickelback, spazzing out. He had to have been on E or something. Was dancing even when there was no music. Some one threw him on the floor.
There was also a lot of smelly people. Many of whom I have never seen at shows before. I'm curious as to from where they came. Also, I didn't see many hot girls there. I just don't like/don't get the new 'hipster' look that these younger girls are wearing. Did see a dude in that Descendents Xmas Sweater that has been making the rounds online, and I must admit, it was just as hideous in person as I expected from looking at the pictures! HAHA!
Also, Johnny B, that sly dog, kissed me on the lips!!! "just one peck, right here on my cheek. I spun the bottle and it landed on you. just one peck."
"i'm wearing lip gloss."
"that's okay. right here on my cheek."
i lean in, and he quickly turns his head and plants one right one my lips!!!! we all laughed.
Do I regret not going to Chicago? Perhaps. Show last night was fine for what it was, but nothing so fucking awesome that it would go down in history for me personally.
Since we were all teased last night, here is the full song:
Friday, December 7, 2012
SHORTS in DEC
Wow. What a gorgeous day! Current air temps ~57F, variable/overcast cloud conditions.
But I did go out on Ex-Girlfriend (in SHORTS!) for 80 minutes. Was thwarted by my arch nemesis loose gravel around mile 18 and turned around.
A lovely outing. Rides like today's make me second guess my decision to leave.
But I did go out on Ex-Girlfriend (in SHORTS!) for 80 minutes. Was thwarted by my arch nemesis loose gravel around mile 18 and turned around.
A lovely outing. Rides like today's make me second guess my decision to leave.
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
All in a day's work
I did not almost throw up at work today, but last patient was def top three most disgusting things I have encountered at work to date.
Tooth on the upper posterior was rotten, and the bacteria had destroyed bone all the way up to the sinus. For twenty minutes, we scraped out up-to-pea-sized chunks of slimy, red, inflammed tissue that had black spots on it. I'm not sure what the black spots were exactly. With the location of the tissue in the sinus, it very well could have been a fungal. Or it could have possibly been necrosis, although I am more likely to believe it was the former.
Tooth on the upper posterior was rotten, and the bacteria had destroyed bone all the way up to the sinus. For twenty minutes, we scraped out up-to-pea-sized chunks of slimy, red, inflammed tissue that had black spots on it. I'm not sure what the black spots were exactly. With the location of the tissue in the sinus, it very well could have been a fungal. Or it could have possibly been necrosis, although I am more likely to believe it was the former.
Monday, December 3, 2012
10 Items or Less
I must have looked extra wrecked tonight after 12+ hours at work with no break/no lunch. The clerk at the grocery store gave me a candy bar to cheer me up.
And it worked :)
And it worked :)
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Motivations
Karen asked for my help with a final project for one of her classes. She wanted me to shoot/edit a film for her to accompany her presentation. She recruited SC, and we shot the thing on Thursday night in South City.
When I imported the footage on Friday, the audio was effed! A constant crackle and buzz, like a bad mic connection, that I couldn't hear when monitoring during the capture. I coulnd't isolate it with my software, so we had to reshoot. I found my shotgun mic (which I hand't been able to on Thursday, and the one I went with is (obviously) broken), and used it along with exernal field mixer. So we reshot today. Didn't take long. And man, that audio sounds fantastic!! It's so crisp. It amazes me at how much difference using a tri-pod and an external mic makes with the quality of the final product.
I came home, imported the footage, had the thing cut up and pieced together in about 5 hours (i'm incredibly patient, an excellent quality in an editor), and exported it to three different file types for her.
The final product is only 4:35, but it was a nice little starter. I haven't worked on anything for...six months, and it felt nice to get my feet wet. I'm hoping to shoot something longer (20 minutes) in the winter. I have my laptop back up using HDMI into the television for writing, and then my tower has all the editing software.
On Saturday, Karen and I met up with some friends for trivia at BDHS. We came in fourth place (purse to top three) by one point! It was a super long night, too...didn't finish until nearly 11:30.
I also purchased a remoted trigger for my SLR! Y'all ready for this?!!?!
When I imported the footage on Friday, the audio was effed! A constant crackle and buzz, like a bad mic connection, that I couldn't hear when monitoring during the capture. I coulnd't isolate it with my software, so we had to reshoot. I found my shotgun mic (which I hand't been able to on Thursday, and the one I went with is (obviously) broken), and used it along with exernal field mixer. So we reshot today. Didn't take long. And man, that audio sounds fantastic!! It's so crisp. It amazes me at how much difference using a tri-pod and an external mic makes with the quality of the final product.
I came home, imported the footage, had the thing cut up and pieced together in about 5 hours (i'm incredibly patient, an excellent quality in an editor), and exported it to three different file types for her.
The final product is only 4:35, but it was a nice little starter. I haven't worked on anything for...six months, and it felt nice to get my feet wet. I'm hoping to shoot something longer (20 minutes) in the winter. I have my laptop back up using HDMI into the television for writing, and then my tower has all the editing software.
On Saturday, Karen and I met up with some friends for trivia at BDHS. We came in fourth place (purse to top three) by one point! It was a super long night, too...didn't finish until nearly 11:30.
I also purchased a remoted trigger for my SLR! Y'all ready for this?!!?!
Monday, November 26, 2012
fun with accents
1. R.I.P. Black Speedo Backpack. We went on some great adventures together all over the country, and even overseas. You helped me get my gear to some great meets, and you were reliable to the end.
2. My doc put me on a blood pressure medicine for one of the side effects. My androgen level is out of whack. Mostly I pee a lot. I'm already mildly dehydrated from the exercise alone.
3. When I went to the pharmacy to fill the Rx, the tech was West African and had quite a heavy accent. When she called my name over the loudspeaker, the "r" was nowhere to be heard, and it literally was "FUKIN" with the accent on a long, drawn out "U".
FUUUUGH-KIN.
I laughed.
2. My doc put me on a blood pressure medicine for one of the side effects. My androgen level is out of whack. Mostly I pee a lot. I'm already mildly dehydrated from the exercise alone.
3. When I went to the pharmacy to fill the Rx, the tech was West African and had quite a heavy accent. When she called my name over the loudspeaker, the "r" was nowhere to be heard, and it literally was "FUKIN" with the accent on a long, drawn out "U".
FUUUUGH-KIN.
I laughed.
Sunday, November 25, 2012
online adventure
AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAAAAHHAHHAHAHAHA! Wow. So I've had my online dating profile up for less than 24 hours, and I already want to take it down!
These dudes are sooooo fucking ridic! Yes, worthy of ridicule!
"Hey gorgeous, wanna chat?"
"Hey beautiful, how was your weekend?"
WTF? I don't even respond.
The more I think about it, the more I realize that
1. My tolerance for bullshit gets less and less each year
2. I am really starting to get set in my ways, and its only going to get harder to adjust to not being alone
3. I don't mind being alone, actually.
Unrelated note, the sunset last night was spectacular. Orange/purple/pink blowout. My favorite. See my calf sleeve for confirmation.
These dudes are sooooo fucking ridic! Yes, worthy of ridicule!
"Hey gorgeous, wanna chat?"
"Hey beautiful, how was your weekend?"
WTF? I don't even respond.
The more I think about it, the more I realize that
1. My tolerance for bullshit gets less and less each year
2. I am really starting to get set in my ways, and its only going to get harder to adjust to not being alone
3. I don't mind being alone, actually.
Unrelated note, the sunset last night was spectacular. Orange/purple/pink blowout. My favorite. See my calf sleeve for confirmation.
Saturday, November 24, 2012
untitled
Yesterday was 'aight.
Quite productive now that I am recapping, even though I dind't make it out of the house until late late.
I did spend a lot of time in the afternoon looking up stuff online....still gunning for a house to purchase. I have several in the running; lots of new listings. I am anxious to speak to the loan officer at the credit union on Monday.
I also spent a lot a time on various pro photo blogs. I'm getting excited! Winter is such a beautiful season, and I love shooting at night. The sky is usually more clear, and I love when the street looks wet, lots of glare, and when there is snow! Its just such a nice juxtaposition and mix of color temps.
I went ice skating with wiener dog at Steinberg. It was super crowded, but an enjoyable outing. Only $6 because I have my own skates.
Stopped off at the casino on the way home. Perhaps a mistake. Lost the $60 I won last week in about 40 minutes. I was really hoping to be out of the house for a bit longer than that, but I guess it wasn't in the cards. (I'm not sorry).
Texted some people about organizing for a road trip to see some bands next weekend.
Also fired up my online dating profile again. It's soooo stupid. I feel like a total wiener. I quickly glanced through the first three or so pages of my search results, and there was NO ONE I was even remotely interested in contacting. All the dudes on match were super old, and the vibe I got from the other site was more hook-up, not serious.
So, I have, for the time being, decided to leave the profile up. I will not actively pursue anyone, but if some guy contacts me and I'm interested, I will respond. That was my strategy with Bryan, and although that turned out to be a bust, I don't regret it.
I'm kinda sorta hoping that Matt wants to hang out with me again. I know he was disappointed that I kinda ditched him to hang out with Bryan, but he also knows that I sincerely want some one to take me seriously, I desire something more tangible, and that is not the situation that we had. I have tested the waters a bit that past week. He does respond to my texts, but no meet-ups yet. I did see him at a show a few weeks ago, and waved and said hi.
So far today I have been unmotivated to get out of the house. Even though it is sunny the air temp is quite brisk!
Quite productive now that I am recapping, even though I dind't make it out of the house until late late.
I did spend a lot of time in the afternoon looking up stuff online....still gunning for a house to purchase. I have several in the running; lots of new listings. I am anxious to speak to the loan officer at the credit union on Monday.
I also spent a lot a time on various pro photo blogs. I'm getting excited! Winter is such a beautiful season, and I love shooting at night. The sky is usually more clear, and I love when the street looks wet, lots of glare, and when there is snow! Its just such a nice juxtaposition and mix of color temps.
I went ice skating with wiener dog at Steinberg. It was super crowded, but an enjoyable outing. Only $6 because I have my own skates.
Stopped off at the casino on the way home. Perhaps a mistake. Lost the $60 I won last week in about 40 minutes. I was really hoping to be out of the house for a bit longer than that, but I guess it wasn't in the cards. (I'm not sorry).
Texted some people about organizing for a road trip to see some bands next weekend.
Also fired up my online dating profile again. It's soooo stupid. I feel like a total wiener. I quickly glanced through the first three or so pages of my search results, and there was NO ONE I was even remotely interested in contacting. All the dudes on match were super old, and the vibe I got from the other site was more hook-up, not serious.
So, I have, for the time being, decided to leave the profile up. I will not actively pursue anyone, but if some guy contacts me and I'm interested, I will respond. That was my strategy with Bryan, and although that turned out to be a bust, I don't regret it.
I'm kinda sorta hoping that Matt wants to hang out with me again. I know he was disappointed that I kinda ditched him to hang out with Bryan, but he also knows that I sincerely want some one to take me seriously, I desire something more tangible, and that is not the situation that we had. I have tested the waters a bit that past week. He does respond to my texts, but no meet-ups yet. I did see him at a show a few weeks ago, and waved and said hi.
So far today I have been unmotivated to get out of the house. Even though it is sunny the air temp is quite brisk!
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Happy Thanksgiving
I went to the boxing gym this morning and pummeled that heavy bag again. I think I might have over-done it this week....went on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday after work, then Thursday morning. Definitely am sore/tired, but it feel good.
I purchased two faux turkeys and a vegan pumpkin pie earlier in the week. I put the faux turkeys in the oven before leaving for the gym, and they were ready when I got home. The kitchen smelled delicious!
The pie was excellent, great texture, nice flaky crust, and a nice pumpkin spice taste to the filling.
Also: Thankful for this song, this video, this memory, the happy times watching this video or hearing this song invokes, punk rock brethern, the "whoa ohs" that go on and on and on an on and on! Gives me chills everytime. If you don't know by now, you never will. If you know where to look, I'm in there, dancing with a penguin.
I purchased two faux turkeys and a vegan pumpkin pie earlier in the week. I put the faux turkeys in the oven before leaving for the gym, and they were ready when I got home. The kitchen smelled delicious!
The pie was excellent, great texture, nice flaky crust, and a nice pumpkin spice taste to the filling.
Also: Thankful for this song, this video, this memory, the happy times watching this video or hearing this song invokes, punk rock brethern, the "whoa ohs" that go on and on and on an on and on! Gives me chills everytime. If you don't know by now, you never will. If you know where to look, I'm in there, dancing with a penguin.
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
exercise exorcise
I swear I almost orgasmed tonight at boxing. I was working SO HARD! Sweat drenched clothes, hair, glistening arms and legs. I was burning out on the heavy bag, exhausted, and hit it harder as the clock ran down, and I felt like I was about to burst!
I joined the boxing gym to get the aggression out, and I definitely do/did, but I still have a lot of pent-up energy.
I joined the boxing gym to get the aggression out, and I definitely do/did, but I still have a lot of pent-up energy.
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Hike of White Rock Nature Preserve
I (finally) made it to White Rock Nature Preserve today. It was a gorgeous afternoon. The bluffs looked beautiful. There was lots of red foliage remaining on some trees, a clear blue sky, and a slight crispness to the air. I was on the trail roughly 105 minutes, and I encountered no other hikers.
View from the parking lot:
To access the trailhead, I had to walk north from the parking lot about 300 feet, then take a private road (including walking over a badass old wooden bridge) to the trail head.
Once through the gate, there was a climb on the White Mine Trail to an area named Madeline's rest, where there were some benches, an information board about the history of the area and some various animals that might be seen.
Some 'shrooms:
I loved the velvet-like texture of the moss on this log:
The White Mine Trail continued up to the top of the bluff to the North/South Ridge Trail. I first headed north to the end. There was a nice little separation in the treeline, and I had a great view of the American Bottoms.
I then backtracked and headed along the South Ridge Trail to the end of that. That portion ended at a Hill Prairie rehab site. It was still a nice view.
I was in the woods most of the time, which is fine, but it wasn't terribly scenic due to the season. Most of the leaves had fallen off the trees and so the trail was just a bunch of brown leaves and bare trees. I actually like the bare trees. It was still a pleasant hike. I'm definitely interested in returning. Would be good in the springtime or earlier in fall. I found it an easier go than Salk Lick, but still relatively challenging due to the initial climbs up the bluff.
Some more pics from the hike:
View from the parking lot:
To access the trailhead, I had to walk north from the parking lot about 300 feet, then take a private road (including walking over a badass old wooden bridge) to the trail head.
Once through the gate, there was a climb on the White Mine Trail to an area named Madeline's rest, where there were some benches, an information board about the history of the area and some various animals that might be seen.
Some 'shrooms:
I loved the velvet-like texture of the moss on this log:
The White Mine Trail continued up to the top of the bluff to the North/South Ridge Trail. I first headed north to the end. There was a nice little separation in the treeline, and I had a great view of the American Bottoms.
I then backtracked and headed along the South Ridge Trail to the end of that. That portion ended at a Hill Prairie rehab site. It was still a nice view.
I was in the woods most of the time, which is fine, but it wasn't terribly scenic due to the season. Most of the leaves had fallen off the trees and so the trail was just a bunch of brown leaves and bare trees. I actually like the bare trees. It was still a pleasant hike. I'm definitely interested in returning. Would be good in the springtime or earlier in fall. I found it an easier go than Salk Lick, but still relatively challenging due to the initial climbs up the bluff.
Some more pics from the hike:
Saturday, November 17, 2012
Despicable He
So....this is probably the second most awful thing my bro has ever done.
I don't know if I wrote about what I consider to be the first most awful.
Here they both are, you can decide. Also, if you are considering trying heroin, please don't. It will destroy everything.
Back story: My bro went out and got himself addicted to heroin about five years ago.
First story: After two prior failed rehab stents, my bro called my mom and said that he was ready to quit for good and he was asking for their help in getting him to a rehab facility. There was a facility in Colorado that would take him, and my parents bought last minute airfare for my bro and my dad to leave immediately.
He was there a few days, and we got a call from the facility that he had gotten into trouble for using the phone without permission. So my mom spoke to my bro and he said he had called his girlfriend (who is also addicted to heroin, of course) because prior to coming to my parents for help to get into rehab again, he had stolen money from her. My parents and my bro came to an agreement with the girlfriend, that my mom would pay her back what my brother stole and in return, she would sever ties with him because he was going to get clean. So my mom gave her a check for $600. She cashed it, it cleared. She called my bro at the rehab and he decided to leave the facility. He hitch-hiked home in two days time, went straight to Sara's house, and they spend the $600.
Second story: Just last night, my mom was cleaning the house and getting ready to host Thanksgiving dinner. For Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners, we eat on the china and silver that my parents' received as a wedding gift over 30 years ago. But the silver wasn't in the box!! My mom confronted my brother about it, and he straight up confessed to selling it all for money to buy heroin about six months ago.
I'm pretty numb to the whole situation. I definitely hate being a part of this family right now, and it all can all be traced back to my brother's heroin addiction.
I don't know if I wrote about what I consider to be the first most awful.
Here they both are, you can decide. Also, if you are considering trying heroin, please don't. It will destroy everything.
Back story: My bro went out and got himself addicted to heroin about five years ago.
First story: After two prior failed rehab stents, my bro called my mom and said that he was ready to quit for good and he was asking for their help in getting him to a rehab facility. There was a facility in Colorado that would take him, and my parents bought last minute airfare for my bro and my dad to leave immediately.
He was there a few days, and we got a call from the facility that he had gotten into trouble for using the phone without permission. So my mom spoke to my bro and he said he had called his girlfriend (who is also addicted to heroin, of course) because prior to coming to my parents for help to get into rehab again, he had stolen money from her. My parents and my bro came to an agreement with the girlfriend, that my mom would pay her back what my brother stole and in return, she would sever ties with him because he was going to get clean. So my mom gave her a check for $600. She cashed it, it cleared. She called my bro at the rehab and he decided to leave the facility. He hitch-hiked home in two days time, went straight to Sara's house, and they spend the $600.
Second story: Just last night, my mom was cleaning the house and getting ready to host Thanksgiving dinner. For Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners, we eat on the china and silver that my parents' received as a wedding gift over 30 years ago. But the silver wasn't in the box!! My mom confronted my brother about it, and he straight up confessed to selling it all for money to buy heroin about six months ago.
I'm pretty numb to the whole situation. I definitely hate being a part of this family right now, and it all can all be traced back to my brother's heroin addiction.
Friday, November 16, 2012
Thursday Night Show Re-Cap
The Copyrights played here last night, and while I enjoyed the show, I was super disappointed about how a certain altercation unfolded.
The show was set-up last minute at FUBAR, and when I showed up, there was lot of cars parked on the street and a lot of young dudes in black metal face paint posted up outside. I also saw Noel outside, smoking, and I went over to say hello.
I asked him if the show was legit, or if this was some bullshit bill with like 8 bands, 6 of which were going to be high school kids? He said it was legit. The show I was there to see was on the lounge side, and some usual metal show on the venue side.
So I went in as Better Days for just starting. Travis is exciting to watch play, and I have an innocent crush on Chris Ve. After Better Days were Haddonfields. Not their best, but fine for what it was...a last minute opening slot on a Thursday.
Copyrights plated third, and I was so excited! I was up near the front, standing next to Ashley, dancing and singing along to all the songs. Ronnie Arrival was their tour drummer and he played SO FAST!! It. Was. Badass.
Several songs in to their set, a kid in face paint from the other show came to the lounge side. He had a beer and was spraying it around and was being an idiot about the place, pushing people who were just trying to watch the show and have a good time. I took a hit to the left side of my head/face and all over my left shoulder/chest. Mildly frustrating because I had washed me hair prior to coming to the show, and I didn't want to have to wash it again in a few hours before work.
So this kid is aggrevating the rest of us for probably four songs....so a good ten minutes, then the next thing I know, some one dives for him and the two are air born onto the stage/right into Kevin on stage left. The mics get knocked off the stand, I see fists punching, and the band actually stops in the middle of the song.
Allegedly, this kid had hit Travis' girlfriend Esther, and Travis retaliated. There was at least one guy holding the younger kid in face paint back because he was obviously trying to fight back. Esther came up to him and spit in his face.
I was really disappointed with the outcome of this ordeal. Travis apologized to the band, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. But he punched my girlfriend." Adam said he understood, forget about it, and they started back up with the next song. I was pretty distracted for the next few songs, but got back into the set. They played Kids of the Black Hole, which is fuckin' jam. I'm glad She Turns It Up wasn't on the set list, because I fucking hate that song.
Two Cow played last. I stayed for maybe half their set. I liked it okay. Matt loves that band, and he told me they are def an acquired taste, and I have to agree with him.
I said goodbye to Brett and Kevin before I left, thanked them for coming here to play, then wished them a safe travel home. Also had a nice conversation with Clarkson Sr. Still a forever favorite. He is currently sober as well.
I'm have been processing the fight all day. Yeah, the kid was being a fucking nuisance, and I'm doubtful that he singled Esther out as a female and hit her out of violence toward women. It was low of her to spit on him. I was also put-off by Travis' decision to resort to punches. I'm was put-off by the fact that security was nowhere to be found. Sure, the usual suspects were at the show. We're all at least 30 years old and know how to handle our shit. But I'm surprised that this kid was allowed to go like that for as long as he did, then have the situation blow up into what it did.
When all is said and done, though, I did have a good time. I like watching The Copyrights perform. I was slightly hoarse from singing along. And like I said, Ronnie Arrival was a real treat on this tour!
They did not play Let's Get The Fuck Outta Here, which I can't even recall the last time I saw that song performed live. I thought it would've been appropriate for this show considering the altercation and also Adam's general dislike of STL.
They did not play this song, which is a shame, because it's a total jam:
The show was set-up last minute at FUBAR, and when I showed up, there was lot of cars parked on the street and a lot of young dudes in black metal face paint posted up outside. I also saw Noel outside, smoking, and I went over to say hello.
I asked him if the show was legit, or if this was some bullshit bill with like 8 bands, 6 of which were going to be high school kids? He said it was legit. The show I was there to see was on the lounge side, and some usual metal show on the venue side.
So I went in as Better Days for just starting. Travis is exciting to watch play, and I have an innocent crush on Chris Ve. After Better Days were Haddonfields. Not their best, but fine for what it was...a last minute opening slot on a Thursday.
Copyrights plated third, and I was so excited! I was up near the front, standing next to Ashley, dancing and singing along to all the songs. Ronnie Arrival was their tour drummer and he played SO FAST!! It. Was. Badass.
Several songs in to their set, a kid in face paint from the other show came to the lounge side. He had a beer and was spraying it around and was being an idiot about the place, pushing people who were just trying to watch the show and have a good time. I took a hit to the left side of my head/face and all over my left shoulder/chest. Mildly frustrating because I had washed me hair prior to coming to the show, and I didn't want to have to wash it again in a few hours before work.
So this kid is aggrevating the rest of us for probably four songs....so a good ten minutes, then the next thing I know, some one dives for him and the two are air born onto the stage/right into Kevin on stage left. The mics get knocked off the stand, I see fists punching, and the band actually stops in the middle of the song.
Allegedly, this kid had hit Travis' girlfriend Esther, and Travis retaliated. There was at least one guy holding the younger kid in face paint back because he was obviously trying to fight back. Esther came up to him and spit in his face.
I was really disappointed with the outcome of this ordeal. Travis apologized to the band, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. But he punched my girlfriend." Adam said he understood, forget about it, and they started back up with the next song. I was pretty distracted for the next few songs, but got back into the set. They played Kids of the Black Hole, which is fuckin' jam. I'm glad She Turns It Up wasn't on the set list, because I fucking hate that song.
Two Cow played last. I stayed for maybe half their set. I liked it okay. Matt loves that band, and he told me they are def an acquired taste, and I have to agree with him.
I said goodbye to Brett and Kevin before I left, thanked them for coming here to play, then wished them a safe travel home. Also had a nice conversation with Clarkson Sr. Still a forever favorite. He is currently sober as well.
I'm have been processing the fight all day. Yeah, the kid was being a fucking nuisance, and I'm doubtful that he singled Esther out as a female and hit her out of violence toward women. It was low of her to spit on him. I was also put-off by Travis' decision to resort to punches. I'm was put-off by the fact that security was nowhere to be found. Sure, the usual suspects were at the show. We're all at least 30 years old and know how to handle our shit. But I'm surprised that this kid was allowed to go like that for as long as he did, then have the situation blow up into what it did.
When all is said and done, though, I did have a good time. I like watching The Copyrights perform. I was slightly hoarse from singing along. And like I said, Ronnie Arrival was a real treat on this tour!
They did not play Let's Get The Fuck Outta Here, which I can't even recall the last time I saw that song performed live. I thought it would've been appropriate for this show considering the altercation and also Adam's general dislike of STL.
They did not play this song, which is a shame, because it's a total jam:
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
mid-week summary
I'm feeling exceptionally angsty and angry today. I don't understand why, because I went to the boxing gym this morning and pummeled the shit out of the heavy bag. The trainer even said to me, "You need to relax. Don't be so tense." I said, "I know I'm tense! That's why I'm here."
I have forgot to bring clean underwear for when I'm done working out, shower, and have to go straight in to work. Twice. So I have gone commando until I get to work, launder my work out clothes, then put the clean underwear back on. No big whoop. Today, though, I forgot my bra. It was incredibly uncomfortable. Going bra-less is something I just cannot do! So as soon as I got to work, I laundered my workout clothes, then when they were dry, I put my sport bra on. Not the most comfortable item to wear all day, but more comforting and supportive than goins sans bra!
I mde some really nice temporary teeth for one of the patient's this afternoon. It looked really nice. I enjoy using my hands and take pride in my work.
I'm not looking forward to the holidays. I'm just lonely and miserable and the holidays remind me of that. I almost started crying this afternoon at work when I found myself in the OR by myself. I did start crying a little bit just now.
Right now, if I had access to a pool, I would jump into the deep end, dive all the way to the bottom, and scream as loud as possible until no more air bubbles would be able to escape from my lungs. No one would be able to hear me scream.
I also hate sitting in traffic. Thank goodness sweet apartment is close to work.
"Fuck you this place is dead anyway!" Aka all tiltwheel all the time!
I have forgot to bring clean underwear for when I'm done working out, shower, and have to go straight in to work. Twice. So I have gone commando until I get to work, launder my work out clothes, then put the clean underwear back on. No big whoop. Today, though, I forgot my bra. It was incredibly uncomfortable. Going bra-less is something I just cannot do! So as soon as I got to work, I laundered my workout clothes, then when they were dry, I put my sport bra on. Not the most comfortable item to wear all day, but more comforting and supportive than goins sans bra!
I mde some really nice temporary teeth for one of the patient's this afternoon. It looked really nice. I enjoy using my hands and take pride in my work.
I'm not looking forward to the holidays. I'm just lonely and miserable and the holidays remind me of that. I almost started crying this afternoon at work when I found myself in the OR by myself. I did start crying a little bit just now.
Right now, if I had access to a pool, I would jump into the deep end, dive all the way to the bottom, and scream as loud as possible until no more air bubbles would be able to escape from my lungs. No one would be able to hear me scream.
I also hate sitting in traffic. Thank goodness sweet apartment is close to work.
"Fuck you this place is dead anyway!" Aka all tiltwheel all the time!
Monday, November 12, 2012
Sunday, November 11, 2012
undefined v11.11
"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result."
Life is too short and the day too beautiful to be depressed and feel like shit all the time.
I made it out of the house. Was pretty unmotivated to ride due to extreme winds but did go to the driving range and hit balls for 80 minutes. This was my first golf outing since this time last year. I was still pretty consistent with all my irons and the pitching wedge. Did not even try the driver or woods, which is fine. Not all shots are 200yds anyway.
I met up with Colleen and Karen for Colleen's brother's birthday party at a bowling alley and we bowled two games. It was a fun time. Karen won the first game, and I won the second. I bowled 104 the first time, and 128 the second time, including two strikes in a row! Choked on the chance for a turkey.
After, I was on the fence about going to the casino. I have been getting really bad migraine headaches again, and I could feel that one was coming on, but I swung by anyway, mostly because I had some coupons for table games. I ended up with $150 in a little over an hour, and I only bought in for $60, so I was up $90. I did something that I usually do not do, and that is leave while I was ahead. I got the eff outta there and felt good about myself. Although as soon as I got to my car and started to drive, the headlights of the oncoming cars were making my head hurt so bad. I thought I was going to puke as I pulled onto my street, and then I saw my brother walking on the shoulder and I picked him up. He super smelled like smoke.
I'm looking forward to boxing class tomorrow.
On Friday, I called Andrew to meet up for lunch, and he was feeling okay and is mobile enough that he was allowed to leave the house. He wanted to picked up one of his friends to join us, and the two of them got high then just played on their phones the time and were discussing ways to get more followers on their various social media pages. Obnoxious. The friend, Chuck, told us that he had started dating a girl because she hit him up online after he 'liked' a photo that she was in on Instagram. She texted him that she had been crying since 4am, which was when he sent a sarcastic tweet about a joke about a friend following girls' twitter feeds. It was a gorgeous day, we sat outside in the sun, but I felt like a fucking idiot. Then they were talking about how lucky Chuck was because his girl would never ask him to go hiking or kayaking or shit like that!! Again, I felt like an idiot sitting there listening to this! I'm glad, though, that Andrew is getting better. He did give me a hug and thank me for calling him. This was the second time he's been out of the house since his accident. He gets tired very quickly and was ready for a nap after.
I'm still quietly pensive. I really want to go ice skating, and I really want to see Bryan in his new winter jacket and coat; I really like his fresh street style. But that is not going to happen, and I accept that reality.
My patience is running thin. I feel like it should be spring time and I have been holed up at home all winter and ready to break out. I feel a major bender coming on.
"I can't take/this bullshit/It's got to fucking quit/I can't drag myself through another day"
Copyrights are playing here on Thursday! So....that's something to look forward to.
Life is too short and the day too beautiful to be depressed and feel like shit all the time.
I made it out of the house. Was pretty unmotivated to ride due to extreme winds but did go to the driving range and hit balls for 80 minutes. This was my first golf outing since this time last year. I was still pretty consistent with all my irons and the pitching wedge. Did not even try the driver or woods, which is fine. Not all shots are 200yds anyway.
I met up with Colleen and Karen for Colleen's brother's birthday party at a bowling alley and we bowled two games. It was a fun time. Karen won the first game, and I won the second. I bowled 104 the first time, and 128 the second time, including two strikes in a row! Choked on the chance for a turkey.
After, I was on the fence about going to the casino. I have been getting really bad migraine headaches again, and I could feel that one was coming on, but I swung by anyway, mostly because I had some coupons for table games. I ended up with $150 in a little over an hour, and I only bought in for $60, so I was up $90. I did something that I usually do not do, and that is leave while I was ahead. I got the eff outta there and felt good about myself. Although as soon as I got to my car and started to drive, the headlights of the oncoming cars were making my head hurt so bad. I thought I was going to puke as I pulled onto my street, and then I saw my brother walking on the shoulder and I picked him up. He super smelled like smoke.
I'm looking forward to boxing class tomorrow.
On Friday, I called Andrew to meet up for lunch, and he was feeling okay and is mobile enough that he was allowed to leave the house. He wanted to picked up one of his friends to join us, and the two of them got high then just played on their phones the time and were discussing ways to get more followers on their various social media pages. Obnoxious. The friend, Chuck, told us that he had started dating a girl because she hit him up online after he 'liked' a photo that she was in on Instagram. She texted him that she had been crying since 4am, which was when he sent a sarcastic tweet about a joke about a friend following girls' twitter feeds. It was a gorgeous day, we sat outside in the sun, but I felt like a fucking idiot. Then they were talking about how lucky Chuck was because his girl would never ask him to go hiking or kayaking or shit like that!! Again, I felt like an idiot sitting there listening to this! I'm glad, though, that Andrew is getting better. He did give me a hug and thank me for calling him. This was the second time he's been out of the house since his accident. He gets tired very quickly and was ready for a nap after.
I'm still quietly pensive. I really want to go ice skating, and I really want to see Bryan in his new winter jacket and coat; I really like his fresh street style. But that is not going to happen, and I accept that reality.
My patience is running thin. I feel like it should be spring time and I have been holed up at home all winter and ready to break out. I feel a major bender coming on.
"I can't take/this bullshit/It's got to fucking quit/I can't drag myself through another day"
Copyrights are playing here on Thursday! So....that's something to look forward to.
Sunday, November 4, 2012
weekend recap
Friday night I went to Lemmons to see Nato and Co. Big Parker was the tour drummer, and it was nice to say hello and catch up. There was a lot of people at the show, and it made me feel good that several people asked me where I've been...they noticed that I haven't been hanging out. I still was not feeling well, though, and abstained from alcohol.
On Saturday, I was debating between going up to Chi for Bookmate's solo opening and to see Rootbeer for his birthday. I asked my bro to go with me, but he had other plans. No big deal; I had agreed to play at a trivia event with Karen and some others that night anyway. It was also a costume event. We dressed up as characters from the classic board game Clue, but didn't win the costume contest. We did, however, win second place overall and $300 prize money. We were only one point from first place. I need to be more aggressive about my answers. I didn't push enough for one of the answers, "methane" and we got it wrong. This happened at a separate event. I knew the answer was "Treasure Island" but the team voted it down.
Today I spent a lot of time online searching for real estate. I'm going to choose to build my own house. I found a vacant lot in an area I want that is also near my work. I can afford the lot. I don't know if I can afford the construction. I looked at several prefab home websites, and I saw some really interesting floor plans. Green construction, too! I'm exciited about it!! Some one from the building company will be contacting me within two days to answer my questions. I hope this can come to fruition.
I bought some peppermint tea at the store tonight. There was some text on the side of the package: The first cup moistens my lips and throat. The second cup shatters my lonliness. The this causes the wrongs of this life to fade gently from recollection. The fourth purifies my soul. The fifth lifts me to the realms of the unwinking gods."
On Saturday, I was debating between going up to Chi for Bookmate's solo opening and to see Rootbeer for his birthday. I asked my bro to go with me, but he had other plans. No big deal; I had agreed to play at a trivia event with Karen and some others that night anyway. It was also a costume event. We dressed up as characters from the classic board game Clue, but didn't win the costume contest. We did, however, win second place overall and $300 prize money. We were only one point from first place. I need to be more aggressive about my answers. I didn't push enough for one of the answers, "methane" and we got it wrong. This happened at a separate event. I knew the answer was "Treasure Island" but the team voted it down.
Today I spent a lot of time online searching for real estate. I'm going to choose to build my own house. I found a vacant lot in an area I want that is also near my work. I can afford the lot. I don't know if I can afford the construction. I looked at several prefab home websites, and I saw some really interesting floor plans. Green construction, too! I'm exciited about it!! Some one from the building company will be contacting me within two days to answer my questions. I hope this can come to fruition.
I bought some peppermint tea at the store tonight. There was some text on the side of the package: The first cup moistens my lips and throat. The second cup shatters my lonliness. The this causes the wrongs of this life to fade gently from recollection. The fourth purifies my soul. The fifth lifts me to the realms of the unwinking gods."
Friday, November 2, 2012
Feeling MPLS again
Burn down the house and move to...Minnesota?
Three days ago my sweet dude broke it off via text message, which only adds insult to injury. Even though I suspected this was a long time coming, I genuinely thought maybe he really was just busy getting his art show paintings finished. Denial is a powerful thing.
I've been quietly pensive about it, and as of this posting have not responded to the text message.
I did however, join a boxing gym and find a sweet apartment that will let me lease month to month.
I cannot find a video of Hold Tight! performing 'Brother Bear' to enclose at the end of this post.
"Why can't you look me in the eye and tell me all the reasons that I'm not worth a damn to you?"
Three days ago my sweet dude broke it off via text message, which only adds insult to injury. Even though I suspected this was a long time coming, I genuinely thought maybe he really was just busy getting his art show paintings finished. Denial is a powerful thing.
I've been quietly pensive about it, and as of this posting have not responded to the text message.
I did however, join a boxing gym and find a sweet apartment that will let me lease month to month.
I cannot find a video of Hold Tight! performing 'Brother Bear' to enclose at the end of this post.
"Why can't you look me in the eye and tell me all the reasons that I'm not worth a damn to you?"
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Happy Birthday, Baby Bro
Happy Birthday, Young Loud Scotty. I miss having you around and you are always on my mind.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
urban survival
Tonight I was at the checkout counter at a local pharmacy when the women who was in line before me buying a coke in a classic glass bottle came back into the store and asked if there was a bottle opener to open her soda. The clerk said no, and the woman asked if she could return the soda since she couldn't get it open.
The next moment I whipped my rebike bottle opener off the carbiner on my beltloop and said she could use mine.
The next moment I whipped my rebike bottle opener off the carbiner on my beltloop and said she could use mine.
Monday, October 29, 2012
Florida trip re-cap
Made my annual trek to Florida last week for Fest 11 and managed to avoid the FestAids for the first time in five years. That was because I didn't fest, but opted instead to stay at my sister's house in Tampa. I admit that I have been suuuuper depressed and was nnot interested in going on a four-day bender in Gainesville. I also am kind of sick of seeing bands. I couldn't even fathom being in loud, dark, smokey bars all night and all day for the whole weekend. Plus, I was pretty turned off by the long line for registration last year, the fact that the hotels jack up the prices ($298/night for a two star hotel is highway robbery), and long lines at the venues/not even guaranteed entry because the bands I wanted to see were at the smaller capacity venues.
So, I stayed in Tampa and I am totally comfortable with that decision. I had a great time with my sister and for the first time in a long time, I actually felt rested when I returned home. Usually I need a vacation from my vacation.
Highlights:
Taaaaaaaco Bus (of course!)
Balybos for Mediterranean food
Frankenweenie (teared up a little at the end)
sweet costume party (I dressed like a wicked witch!)
baking cookies! (bats, tombstones, ghosts, and skulls)
guest gym pass
waterfront/marina to see boats and drink pumpkin beer! oh, and veg pizza!
Lowlights:
The hurricane (even though on on the Atlantic side) was creating huge surf and blowing sand, and we couldn't go out of the boat. But I did make friends with a dolphin dressed like a pirate with booty at Clearwater!
So, I stayed in Tampa and I am totally comfortable with that decision. I had a great time with my sister and for the first time in a long time, I actually felt rested when I returned home. Usually I need a vacation from my vacation.
Highlights:
Taaaaaaaco Bus (of course!)
Balybos for Mediterranean food
Frankenweenie (teared up a little at the end)
sweet costume party (I dressed like a wicked witch!)
baking cookies! (bats, tombstones, ghosts, and skulls)
guest gym pass
waterfront/marina to see boats and drink pumpkin beer! oh, and veg pizza!
Lowlights:
The hurricane (even though on on the Atlantic side) was creating huge surf and blowing sand, and we couldn't go out of the boat. But I did make friends with a dolphin dressed like a pirate with booty at Clearwater!
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Hike at Salt Lick
Went hiking at Salt Lick today. Excellent weather and excellent fall foliage. The usual loop took about 80 minutes. I didn't spend too much time at the scenic overlook because there were two other people there and they were annoying me. Also saw a hippy couple with their dog, which was one a leash, but aggressive. Overall, though, an enjoyable outing. When I got back to my car, I fished me keys out of my backpack and the ignition key was not on the loop! I could hear my heart pounding in my ears! I looked around on the ground near my car and didn't see it. I did have my cell phone, but decided to retrace my steps before I called some one to come pick me. I remembered that I initially had my keys on the carbiner on my beltloop, but then no longer than ten minutes into the hike I put the keys in my backpack because I was very aware out them jingling in the quiet woods. I set off down the trail, hoping that I would be able to find them, but for whatever reason, I turned around and looked at my car once more, and there was the ingintion key.....in the lock of the driver's side door! What relief! Weird, though that it came off the loop when I was locking my door and didn't notice leaving it in the lock?
Here's some highlight photos. All the rest are in my photobucket: http://s69.beta.photobucket.com/user/stl_susan/library/Hiking/Salt%20Lick?
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Here's some highlight photos. All the rest are in my photobucket: http://s69.beta.photobucket.com/user/stl_susan/library/Hiking/Salt%20Lick?
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Thursday, October 18, 2012
sweet tooth
Whoever is operating the camera behind home plate tonight, sports producer, please keep those close ups of pitcher Tim L coming! Cutie pie is a cutie pie!
Cue "I get lost/in your eyes..."
Red-blooded office girl is red-blooded!
Cue "I get lost/in your eyes..."
Red-blooded office girl is red-blooded!
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
mid-morning snack
Goodness Gracious Me! Top three cutest patient was in the office today for a tissue graft. Hazel eyes, scruffy facial hair, glasses, slight build, and full sleeves (although tats on a dude are not necessarily something in which I'm automatically interested). It was just a whole over-all vibe.
Usually my patients are senior citizens, so this early-thirties cutie-pie was a real treat!
That being said, I had to tell him that the less chew tobacco he uses during the healing, the quicker he will heal and the better the result. Effing gross!
Plus, dude has a kid (but not a wedding band).
Plus plus, I alread have a sweet dude.
Plus plus plus, red-blooded office girls.
Usually my patients are senior citizens, so this early-thirties cutie-pie was a real treat!
That being said, I had to tell him that the less chew tobacco he uses during the healing, the quicker he will heal and the better the result. Effing gross!
Plus, dude has a kid (but not a wedding band).
Plus plus, I alread have a sweet dude.
Plus plus plus, red-blooded office girls.
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
chi-weekend recap
Took the Amtrak up to Chi on Saturday morning. Slept nearly the whole way. The improvements to the rails have made the ride very smooth and quiet. Its not FAST, yet.
Was met with rainy conditions; glad I left the bike at home and opted instead for the umbrella.
+
Sultan's for falafal and lentil soup
Nap at Roy's house
Ghetto theater for SevenPsychos
Delicious veg dinner at Native Food with Chris and Neha.
Nap at Roy's house
Delilah's with friends, where there was a large selection of pumpkin beers.
Brunch at Handlebar with Bookmate.
Nap at Roy's house
Dinner at Randoli with a large group
Wrath of Khan at Music Box
GingerMan for nightcap (more pumpkin beer!)
Shakes and key lime pie at Chicago Diner
Nap/movies at Roy's house
Good ride back home.
-
I drove myself to the Amtrak station on Saturday and was going to just leave my car in the lot, but the overnight lot did not have an attendant on duty (and no one to open the gate to allow cars inside). However, cars couldn't even get into the lot even if there was an attendant because the postal trucks from the main post office sorting center were parked in the street and blocking the entrance to the lot!!
So I parked on the Amtrak lot, which overnight parking is not allowed, so I bought six hours of time from the meter and called my dad about coming to pick up my car. So he had to leave work to come get it, then I needed to be picked up late late on Monday night!
Also, this is funny to me:
So Roy's roommate is a flight attendant and said I could sleep in her bedwhile she was out of town. So when we came home from the bar on Saturday, I cleaned up and crawled into bed. I felt something hard against my shin way down at the foot of the bed. I rolled the sheets back to find a huge pink vibrator!!
I immediately thought, "What should I do? What should I do? What should I do?"
I could toss it into a dresser drawer, but I don't know which drawer the girl would usually keep it. I could always leave a note, "oh, by the way, I found your vibe and I washed it off and ticked it in the left side of your sock drawer."
I could have tossed it to the dog and let that work its way out.
I ended up shoving it in between the wall and the mattress and covering it with several pillows.
The girl was back home on Monday, and Roy told me she asked if I slept in her bed because she left her vibe out and was super embarrassed. I hadn't told Roy I found it, so he wasn't lying when he told her he didn't know that I had found it. Then I told him I did.
But, we're all adults, here! (Sorta.)
Was met with rainy conditions; glad I left the bike at home and opted instead for the umbrella.
+
Sultan's for falafal and lentil soup
Nap at Roy's house
Ghetto theater for SevenPsychos
Delicious veg dinner at Native Food with Chris and Neha.
Nap at Roy's house
Delilah's with friends, where there was a large selection of pumpkin beers.
Brunch at Handlebar with Bookmate.
Nap at Roy's house
Dinner at Randoli with a large group
Wrath of Khan at Music Box
GingerMan for nightcap (more pumpkin beer!)
Shakes and key lime pie at Chicago Diner
Nap/movies at Roy's house
Good ride back home.
-
I drove myself to the Amtrak station on Saturday and was going to just leave my car in the lot, but the overnight lot did not have an attendant on duty (and no one to open the gate to allow cars inside). However, cars couldn't even get into the lot even if there was an attendant because the postal trucks from the main post office sorting center were parked in the street and blocking the entrance to the lot!!
So I parked on the Amtrak lot, which overnight parking is not allowed, so I bought six hours of time from the meter and called my dad about coming to pick up my car. So he had to leave work to come get it, then I needed to be picked up late late on Monday night!
Also, this is funny to me:
So Roy's roommate is a flight attendant and said I could sleep in her bedwhile she was out of town. So when we came home from the bar on Saturday, I cleaned up and crawled into bed. I felt something hard against my shin way down at the foot of the bed. I rolled the sheets back to find a huge pink vibrator!!
I immediately thought, "What should I do? What should I do? What should I do?"
I could toss it into a dresser drawer, but I don't know which drawer the girl would usually keep it. I could always leave a note, "oh, by the way, I found your vibe and I washed it off and ticked it in the left side of your sock drawer."
I could have tossed it to the dog and let that work its way out.
I ended up shoving it in between the wall and the mattress and covering it with several pillows.
The girl was back home on Monday, and Roy told me she asked if I slept in her bed because she left her vibe out and was super embarrassed. I hadn't told Roy I found it, so he wasn't lying when he told her he didn't know that I had found it. Then I told him I did.
But, we're all adults, here! (Sorta.)
Friday, October 12, 2012
Homecoming?
I am going to head up to Chicago on the Amtrak this weekend to visit some friends and just get away. I'm still kinda depressed, but not as much as I was last week.
I went on a pretty significant binge this week. I bought all new clothes for fall/winter, including two coats and a jacket. I also bought some mascara! I am going to be STYLIN'. I need some shoes, though. And my nails painted. I don't know what has come over me that I am putting more stock into my appearance lately. Actually, I know it's Bryan. I like him and I want to look good and feel good about myself when we're together or when we go out. I'm also (still) terrified of another Giuseppe outcome.
Yesterday was a long day. Thursdays are already long, but then we had to work through lunch, and then we had CPR recertification after, and that lasted until 730pm. I didn't have dinner, but I did have a bitchin' migraine. I swung by the mall to see my mom at work on the way home. Then I went to the store and bought a pumpkin and a knife. Bryan said I could come over, and I was excited for us to carve the pumpkin. But he was busy working on his solo exhibition. There were two other friends at the apartment and everyone was having great conversation. It was realy nice. I stayed until midnight even though my head was pounding. My eyes were watering on the drive home from the glare of the lights on the road, but I made it.
I just want so badly to lay next to Bryan on his bed and rest my head on his chest. I think about the day we hung out briefly before I left for Germany. I was super sick, and he had a hockey game, but we hung out for like 45 minutes. And we just laid next to each other on the bed, my head on his chest and he rubbed my back and combed my hair with his fingers. It was so nice.
I am incredibly anxious about the buying a home. I am going to take a break from it for a few months. My skin is all broken out I'm so stressed about it. And its not worth the mental anguish.
So I'm glad to get out of town. I'll get sad again if I end up just sitting around at home all weekend by myself, which is likely to happen since I've been so unmotivated to go out and meet up with people. I did get out of the house this morning, though. Went to the gym for 90 minutes, and it was nice.
Booker wants to meet me at Union Station when I get in and then we can go get lunch. My plan is to bring my pedal bike on the train, but rain is in the forecast, so I'm now unsure about that. He is going on a scavenger hunt at night and then is busy on Sunday, so tomorrow lunch is the only time to hang. And that is actually perfect, because Roy will probably be asleep since he works until 7am.
Then on Saturday night, I want to go see BOTD.
This video is helping me get amped! I love the piano track.
I went on a pretty significant binge this week. I bought all new clothes for fall/winter, including two coats and a jacket. I also bought some mascara! I am going to be STYLIN'. I need some shoes, though. And my nails painted. I don't know what has come over me that I am putting more stock into my appearance lately. Actually, I know it's Bryan. I like him and I want to look good and feel good about myself when we're together or when we go out. I'm also (still) terrified of another Giuseppe outcome.
Yesterday was a long day. Thursdays are already long, but then we had to work through lunch, and then we had CPR recertification after, and that lasted until 730pm. I didn't have dinner, but I did have a bitchin' migraine. I swung by the mall to see my mom at work on the way home. Then I went to the store and bought a pumpkin and a knife. Bryan said I could come over, and I was excited for us to carve the pumpkin. But he was busy working on his solo exhibition. There were two other friends at the apartment and everyone was having great conversation. It was realy nice. I stayed until midnight even though my head was pounding. My eyes were watering on the drive home from the glare of the lights on the road, but I made it.
I just want so badly to lay next to Bryan on his bed and rest my head on his chest. I think about the day we hung out briefly before I left for Germany. I was super sick, and he had a hockey game, but we hung out for like 45 minutes. And we just laid next to each other on the bed, my head on his chest and he rubbed my back and combed my hair with his fingers. It was so nice.
I am incredibly anxious about the buying a home. I am going to take a break from it for a few months. My skin is all broken out I'm so stressed about it. And its not worth the mental anguish.
So I'm glad to get out of town. I'll get sad again if I end up just sitting around at home all weekend by myself, which is likely to happen since I've been so unmotivated to go out and meet up with people. I did get out of the house this morning, though. Went to the gym for 90 minutes, and it was nice.
Booker wants to meet me at Union Station when I get in and then we can go get lunch. My plan is to bring my pedal bike on the train, but rain is in the forecast, so I'm now unsure about that. He is going on a scavenger hunt at night and then is busy on Sunday, so tomorrow lunch is the only time to hang. And that is actually perfect, because Roy will probably be asleep since he works until 7am.
Then on Saturday night, I want to go see BOTD.
This video is helping me get amped! I love the piano track.
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
broads cover your nickels
Buying bras is super frustrating. Whenever I see the 38D hanging on the little hanger, I think, "There's no way my boobs are that big." Then I'm standing under horrific florescent lights in the fitting room, staring at my fat tits bulging out the top and sides of the cups.
"Le sigh..."
"Le sigh..."
Saturday, October 6, 2012
Patterns
So bike trip didn't happen. Guess I didn't want it badly enough.
I spent my free week near KCMO with my (newly widowed) grandmother, my aunt, and their ornery new puppy. I am a motherfucking dog whisperer.
The house is still very unclean, and I was having difficulty pin-pointing if the allergy symptoms I experienced were from the house or from all the extremely high pollen counts. Probably both.
I was a little frustrated with grandma in that the first day, we went through the closet in the yellow room and she was ready to part with a number of items and we had them in a pile. Some I was going to bring back to STL (to donate), some we were going to donate/sell in KCMO. Then the next day, she went through the pile and took a number of the items/boxes back. And it was all junk!! And all we did was move junk from one location in the house to the basement, which there is no more room down there anymore. I ended up coming back here with five boxes of candles/holders, a box of LPS, a few books, five pieces of clothing, and a sweet vintage bike. Everything is going to be sold/donated except for the bike. It is SUPER HEAVY, and I might decide to sell it anyway since it weighs so much. I need to fix it first. It needs new tubes, and the front break lines need tweaking.
We went to eat at Justus Drugstore on Wednesday night. It was excellent. Everything is cooked to order using local-grown ingredients. I didn't get any cocktails, but Patty had a Sangria.
Thursday was pretty low-key. Then Friday...it was a miracle! Grandma decided that she was ready to get rid of some items, and we took two car loads of clothes, shoes, and books to a thrift store!
I called Bryan on Wednesday evening; he was out and about on Delmar. We spoke for nearly 40 minutes, and it was so nice! I'm really glad that he picked up and that we had a chance to talk. I haven't felt very close to him for several weeks, and I actually cried in the car on the way home from his opening at the Chess Hall of Fame last week because I felt like a fool being there. I want to think that its because he is busy with his art show stuff, but I think that he is over me. I'm not surprised if it's already ran its course; this is usually about the time I get the ol' "You're the sweetest girl, but...." And I feel like a fucking idiot! I know I need to take the hint, but I want to hear it spoken out loud.
I've felt pretty bummed out all day; more than usual. I admit that I've been stressed, depressed and thinking terrible things. I agreed to play kickball on a league, and it was canceled today. I was not notified that the games had been canceled, and I was was pretty frustrated when I got to the park and no one was there. What a waste of driving 45 miles! I kinda don't want to play anymore.
Andrew called me tonight. He was in a horrific car accident a few weeks ago and had to have surgery to reconstruct his pelvis and femur. He is now at home, but is pretty helpless. He was in pain and called me to get his mind off of it. His mom and aunt are helping him out at home and they monitor his medication so he doesn't get hooked on it. He had another 90 minutes before he could take another and the previous dose was wearing off. My heart went out to him, and it was nice to talk. He can't walk/leave the house. But when he is more mobile, I told him I will come pick him up and we'll go get food or see a movie. After speaking to Andrew, I didn't feel as sorry for myself/sad as I have felt all week. I also looked up the spring '13 schedule for school. I need just one more class, and registration opens in three weeks.
I spent my free week near KCMO with my (newly widowed) grandmother, my aunt, and their ornery new puppy. I am a motherfucking dog whisperer.
The house is still very unclean, and I was having difficulty pin-pointing if the allergy symptoms I experienced were from the house or from all the extremely high pollen counts. Probably both.
I was a little frustrated with grandma in that the first day, we went through the closet in the yellow room and she was ready to part with a number of items and we had them in a pile. Some I was going to bring back to STL (to donate), some we were going to donate/sell in KCMO. Then the next day, she went through the pile and took a number of the items/boxes back. And it was all junk!! And all we did was move junk from one location in the house to the basement, which there is no more room down there anymore. I ended up coming back here with five boxes of candles/holders, a box of LPS, a few books, five pieces of clothing, and a sweet vintage bike. Everything is going to be sold/donated except for the bike. It is SUPER HEAVY, and I might decide to sell it anyway since it weighs so much. I need to fix it first. It needs new tubes, and the front break lines need tweaking.
We went to eat at Justus Drugstore on Wednesday night. It was excellent. Everything is cooked to order using local-grown ingredients. I didn't get any cocktails, but Patty had a Sangria.
Thursday was pretty low-key. Then Friday...it was a miracle! Grandma decided that she was ready to get rid of some items, and we took two car loads of clothes, shoes, and books to a thrift store!
I called Bryan on Wednesday evening; he was out and about on Delmar. We spoke for nearly 40 minutes, and it was so nice! I'm really glad that he picked up and that we had a chance to talk. I haven't felt very close to him for several weeks, and I actually cried in the car on the way home from his opening at the Chess Hall of Fame last week because I felt like a fool being there. I want to think that its because he is busy with his art show stuff, but I think that he is over me. I'm not surprised if it's already ran its course; this is usually about the time I get the ol' "You're the sweetest girl, but...." And I feel like a fucking idiot! I know I need to take the hint, but I want to hear it spoken out loud.
I've felt pretty bummed out all day; more than usual. I admit that I've been stressed, depressed and thinking terrible things. I agreed to play kickball on a league, and it was canceled today. I was not notified that the games had been canceled, and I was was pretty frustrated when I got to the park and no one was there. What a waste of driving 45 miles! I kinda don't want to play anymore.
Andrew called me tonight. He was in a horrific car accident a few weeks ago and had to have surgery to reconstruct his pelvis and femur. He is now at home, but is pretty helpless. He was in pain and called me to get his mind off of it. His mom and aunt are helping him out at home and they monitor his medication so he doesn't get hooked on it. He had another 90 minutes before he could take another and the previous dose was wearing off. My heart went out to him, and it was nice to talk. He can't walk/leave the house. But when he is more mobile, I told him I will come pick him up and we'll go get food or see a movie. After speaking to Andrew, I didn't feel as sorry for myself/sad as I have felt all week. I also looked up the spring '13 schedule for school. I need just one more class, and registration opens in three weeks.
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Pedal Report: Bambi Prix recap
Went out on Ex-Girlfriend again, usual loop.
I was coming up Levee Rd toward Bottom Rd and to the west, about 25yds off the road, I saw two adolescent deer. I'm fairly certain they are the same two that ran alongside me back over the summer.
One started swishing it's tail, I would like to think with happiness to see me, much like a dog, but more likely there was a fly or something to shoo.
I had just been thinking about these two just a minute prior when I pedaled by the field (which has not been harvested) where they ran alongside me before.
I was coming up Levee Rd toward Bottom Rd and to the west, about 25yds off the road, I saw two adolescent deer. I'm fairly certain they are the same two that ran alongside me back over the summer.
One started swishing it's tail, I would like to think with happiness to see me, much like a dog, but more likely there was a fly or something to shoo.
I had just been thinking about these two just a minute prior when I pedaled by the field (which has not been harvested) where they ran alongside me before.
Friday, September 28, 2012
Unspecified Surgical Procedure, By Report
Last week we removed a mucous retention cyst from the right maxillary sinus of a 50yo male. We went in through the lateral wall and sucked the cyst, which was a liquid, up into a 3mL syringe and expelled it into a glass dappen dish. By the end of the procedure, it had "jellied" and was quite jiggly, a weird mix of solid/liquid. It took the shape of the dish and was about 17mm in diameter and bright orange. 
I was super excited about this procedure and had been looking forward to it since I saw the CT last month. Then today, my afternoon patient shot himself in his own eye...TWICE...with his own arterial bleeding. I nearly died!!!!
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Grandpa How-Do: 1923 - 2012
My mom texted me on Sun 9/2 at 230am to call her. I was at a bar in San Diego seeing bands and didn't call her back until the next afternoon. But I already knew.
Grandpa had died on Saturday at around 10:30pm.
The funeral was on Wednesday in their small town outside of KCMO. All the cousins and aunts and uncles were there. So was nearly everyone in town. It was overwhelming how many people came out for the visitation, mainly because since the Labor Day Holiday, the newspaper offices were closed and the obit was never put in prior to the service. So this was all via word of mouth.
Since grandpa served in WWII, he was given a full military burial with a 21 gun salute. I nearly lost it when the bugle started playing TAPS. There were three enlisted soldiers near the grave site, two of whom presented my grandmother with a folded flag.
The 21 gun salute came from 3 round each of 7 old men from the American Legion.
After, we went back to the church for lunch, then to the house to socialize before heading home.
It was kinda weird being in the house because all of grandpa's stuff was there...toothbrush, walker at the top of the stairs, pillow on the recliner, just like he had never left.
At the service, the pastor told a story:
He had been to the house several times over the past year to visit with my grandparents. My grandmother would often stay downstairs next to the cot where my grandpa slept. He would wake up and say, "Go to bed, Marilyn." And she'd go upstairs to bed.
The night Walt died, the pastor was at the house, and Marilyn was sitting next to Walt, holding his hand. He was in a lot of pain and the hospice nurses were trying to get his pain under control. When it was under control, my grandma said, "I'm going to go upstairs to bed now, Walt." And she did. And then he died shortly after.
I teared up in the church when the pastor told us this story, and I am tearing up a little bit now typing this out.
At the funeral, Uncle Fred was the only one who spoke, and he told a funny story about the first time he met Walt, which was at a Mizzou football game back in...'76?
A lot of nice things were said later on at the house, and there were several collages of photographs spanning his lifetime. The funniest being one of him sunning on a lawn chair in red swim trunks and a white shirt. Funny because he NEVER went out in the sun and was actually extremely pale for as long as I can remember. He did, however, until the end, have the hairline of a 30 year old. Thick, white, smooth hair that hadn't receded a single inch.
Grandpa had died on Saturday at around 10:30pm.
The funeral was on Wednesday in their small town outside of KCMO. All the cousins and aunts and uncles were there. So was nearly everyone in town. It was overwhelming how many people came out for the visitation, mainly because since the Labor Day Holiday, the newspaper offices were closed and the obit was never put in prior to the service. So this was all via word of mouth.
Since grandpa served in WWII, he was given a full military burial with a 21 gun salute. I nearly lost it when the bugle started playing TAPS. There were three enlisted soldiers near the grave site, two of whom presented my grandmother with a folded flag.
The 21 gun salute came from 3 round each of 7 old men from the American Legion.
After, we went back to the church for lunch, then to the house to socialize before heading home.
It was kinda weird being in the house because all of grandpa's stuff was there...toothbrush, walker at the top of the stairs, pillow on the recliner, just like he had never left.
At the service, the pastor told a story:
He had been to the house several times over the past year to visit with my grandparents. My grandmother would often stay downstairs next to the cot where my grandpa slept. He would wake up and say, "Go to bed, Marilyn." And she'd go upstairs to bed.
The night Walt died, the pastor was at the house, and Marilyn was sitting next to Walt, holding his hand. He was in a lot of pain and the hospice nurses were trying to get his pain under control. When it was under control, my grandma said, "I'm going to go upstairs to bed now, Walt." And she did. And then he died shortly after.
I teared up in the church when the pastor told us this story, and I am tearing up a little bit now typing this out.
At the funeral, Uncle Fred was the only one who spoke, and he told a funny story about the first time he met Walt, which was at a Mizzou football game back in...'76?
A lot of nice things were said later on at the house, and there were several collages of photographs spanning his lifetime. The funniest being one of him sunning on a lawn chair in red swim trunks and a white shirt. Funny because he NEVER went out in the sun and was actually extremely pale for as long as I can remember. He did, however, until the end, have the hairline of a 30 year old. Thick, white, smooth hair that hadn't receded a single inch.
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Burn Down the House Move to San Diego
So last weekend (Labor Day Weekend) I made my second annual trek out to San Diego for Awesome Fest 666. I was excited to get down on delicious veg food, party with friends, see west coast bands that don't play here too often, and surf, which is something I have never done. Surfing didn't happen because of a southern swell and subsequent crazy huge waves (huge for a first-timer, at least). But Alf and I did go snorkeling in La Jolla. There were seals, too!
Bryan and I rode our bikes to the Ballroom on Thursday evening and closed the place down. Back at his house, we made out for a long time, then we banged out, which was the first time we've done it since we started hanging out six weeks ago, which has got to be some kind of record!
He drive me to the airport on Friday morning and I left for San Diego, with a layover in KCMO. I was hoping that in KCMO I would have had a chance to swing by my grandparents' house to see Grandfather Halferty since he had been super sick, in hospice, and probably was going to die while I was away for the weekend, which would have been the last time I would have had a chance to see him. I was unable to go to the house.
20 minutes into the flight from KCMO to San Diego, the dude in front of my OD'ed. He was boozed up and ate a Xanax and the flight attendants were on the intercom asking if there were any doctors on board. They were having a hard time taking his vitals because the engine was so loud and his pulse was so faint! Dude survived and we didn't have to make any emergency landings.
Sam Bot picked me up at the airport in his new painting van! We ran a few errands, got some delicious veg food (faux ham fried wontons! WHAT!??!). Then we headed to North Park to get the party weekend started. We picked up our packets at Soda then went to LIVEWIRE and LaFayette to meet up with other STL people. Biff was there, and I asked him if he had fallen in love yet. "Of course!" HAHAHAHAHA!
Long story short....Bands and friends all night Friday night!
Here with Paul and Lew:
With everyone's favorite evening bird:
Beach/snorkeling (with seals!) in La Jolla with Alf! First time in Pacific Ocean. Surf was huge!
Beach/adult bevs at private military beach on Coronado!
Bands all day Saturday night!
Bands all day on Sunday!
I was actually sick of seeing bands by Sunday night and wanted to just chill at home and watch tv. So I did, and it was everything I wanted it to be!
I ate delicious burritors, veg pizza, and southern friend vegan.
My allergies have been going crazy in STL, but after being in San Diego for only five minutes, my sinuses opened up and I could breath easily the whole weekend!
I was very excited to see friends and have a great time, but I was also ready to come back home.
Bryan picked me up at the airport and we went to got some food on South Grand.
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Take it Outside!
Last night Bryan and I rode our bikes from Cherokee to Firebird for Dear Landlord. Show was 'aight. Mostly I was excited that so many friends were in attendance and had a nice time socializing. Positive vibes all around all night.
Prior to the show, we swung by Pardon My Reach Closing Reception and after the show, we rode around the city, down Market to the the Arch Grounds. We stashed our bikes near a pond and talked for a while and admired the night. Then we made out, for a long time. No clothes came off, but Bryan unzipped my fly and was fingering me. I was soaked all the way down to my knees in the front and the back. I had my hand up the leg of his shorts.
We made out for over an hour, then suddenly I saw a bright light very near us and I said, "There's a cop right there!" Three park rangers/policemen on bikes busted us! They asked us what we were doing and where we had been earlier. They ran our IDs and let us go after telling us that the park closes at 11pm. I still had my fly undone and pulled my shirt down over it; I didn't want to zip up in front of the cops, even though I suspect they knew exactly what they had come up on. We grabbed our bikes and trotted up the hill and left the Arch Grounds, laughing out loud the whole way!
The whole experience is humorous to me for two reasons:
1. The cops busted two 30+ year olds for making out in the park after hours!
2. The cops busted us literally five seconds after I came. We were curious if they heard us when that was happening or if they had been watching the show from the shadows prior, waiting until we were finished, or until the situation escalated!
I am thankful that we didn't have anything out and get cited for indecent exposure or lewd conduct!
Prior to the show, we swung by Pardon My Reach Closing Reception and after the show, we rode around the city, down Market to the the Arch Grounds. We stashed our bikes near a pond and talked for a while and admired the night. Then we made out, for a long time. No clothes came off, but Bryan unzipped my fly and was fingering me. I was soaked all the way down to my knees in the front and the back. I had my hand up the leg of his shorts.
We made out for over an hour, then suddenly I saw a bright light very near us and I said, "There's a cop right there!" Three park rangers/policemen on bikes busted us! They asked us what we were doing and where we had been earlier. They ran our IDs and let us go after telling us that the park closes at 11pm. I still had my fly undone and pulled my shirt down over it; I didn't want to zip up in front of the cops, even though I suspect they knew exactly what they had come up on. We grabbed our bikes and trotted up the hill and left the Arch Grounds, laughing out loud the whole way!
The whole experience is humorous to me for two reasons:
1. The cops busted two 30+ year olds for making out in the park after hours!
2. The cops busted us literally five seconds after I came. We were curious if they heard us when that was happening or if they had been watching the show from the shadows prior, waiting until we were finished, or until the situation escalated!
I am thankful that we didn't have anything out and get cited for indecent exposure or lewd conduct!
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Fabulous Afternoon in Frankfurt: Recap
On Tuesday, August 7, Yvonne, Elizabeth, and I drove to Frankfurt for the afternoon.
I was excited because going in to the trip, I wanted to eat a huge pretzel, and Frankfurt was the place to do that!
We also went to Museum of Modern Art aka Kunst. It was pretty sweet. Several exhibits really stood out to me. The first was an photo exhibit with photos of polluted abandoned mining areas. The ground was literally grey and red and smoking. The second was an install of various mixed media, and the part the stood out of the most was written on the wall "Buying nothing is the real luxery". The third that stood out to me was a bunch of loaves of bread with forks in them like bird wings. The exhibit was in a glass case and the card said it was from the late 60s, so that was so old bread!!!
After the museum we walked around and window shopped. There was an old (anciet Roman times) public pool that was being renovated. I was amazed to learn that there were even structures like that built during that time. I knew about the aquifers, but not pools.
This is the Frankfurter Dom, officially Kaiserdom Sankt Bartholomäus.
Visitors can pay 3Euro and climb over 320 steps to the top for a spectacular 360 degree view of the city! The staircase was a narrow sprial set and it was exhausting! There were electrical lights installed now in modern times, but originally, it was pretty dark in there! There were small windows to let light in, but it was still pretty dark.
View from the top: That is the Rhine!
I wanted to take a boat ride on the Rhine, and we did that, too! We cruised by Museum Row (didn't have time to go to any other museums, would have liked to see the German Film Museum...guess I'll just have to go back...) We also cruised by a building nick-named the Apfelwien Building because it looks like the traditional glass in which that beverage is served.
Other things that happened in Frankfurt: Sorbet! I hadn't had any treats in a loooong time! I chose a scoop of banana and a scoop of strawberry.
Chocolate shaped like little mice for sale at the market! There was so many fresh and colorful items in the kiosks! It was pretty cool.
There were several street performers in Frankfurt. Musicians, some guys "floating" in the air with their hand only holding onto a walking stick, and then these creepy characters:
After our day in Frankfurt, we drove back to Gedern. I was exhausted from the excitement and also was still jet-lagged. I slept in the car most of the way. We did stop off in Wennings, which was the original village from where the founders of my hometown came. We wen to the remains of an old church. It was pretty much just three stone walls. Yvonne told me there used to also be an old wooden cross, but it was not there anymore. The surrounding scenery was beautiful. I really liked being in the country.
My last night in Gedern was spent with the Reekers. Lilo and walked to the house and we all played Yahtzee. Then Yvonne, Michael, and I went to bar nearby and I ordered some Apfelwein and we played Yahtzee some more. I really enjoyed the Apfelwein! We had great conversation, too. I was a lot of fun talking about various animals...trying to describe to them armadillos, porcupines, etc!
I was excited because going in to the trip, I wanted to eat a huge pretzel, and Frankfurt was the place to do that!
We also went to Museum of Modern Art aka Kunst. It was pretty sweet. Several exhibits really stood out to me. The first was an photo exhibit with photos of polluted abandoned mining areas. The ground was literally grey and red and smoking. The second was an install of various mixed media, and the part the stood out of the most was written on the wall "Buying nothing is the real luxery". The third that stood out to me was a bunch of loaves of bread with forks in them like bird wings. The exhibit was in a glass case and the card said it was from the late 60s, so that was so old bread!!!
After the museum we walked around and window shopped. There was an old (anciet Roman times) public pool that was being renovated. I was amazed to learn that there were even structures like that built during that time. I knew about the aquifers, but not pools.
This is the Frankfurter Dom, officially Kaiserdom Sankt Bartholomäus.
Visitors can pay 3Euro and climb over 320 steps to the top for a spectacular 360 degree view of the city! The staircase was a narrow sprial set and it was exhausting! There were electrical lights installed now in modern times, but originally, it was pretty dark in there! There were small windows to let light in, but it was still pretty dark.
View from the top: That is the Rhine!
I wanted to take a boat ride on the Rhine, and we did that, too! We cruised by Museum Row (didn't have time to go to any other museums, would have liked to see the German Film Museum...guess I'll just have to go back...) We also cruised by a building nick-named the Apfelwien Building because it looks like the traditional glass in which that beverage is served.
Other things that happened in Frankfurt: Sorbet! I hadn't had any treats in a loooong time! I chose a scoop of banana and a scoop of strawberry.
Chocolate shaped like little mice for sale at the market! There was so many fresh and colorful items in the kiosks! It was pretty cool.
There were several street performers in Frankfurt. Musicians, some guys "floating" in the air with their hand only holding onto a walking stick, and then these creepy characters:
After our day in Frankfurt, we drove back to Gedern. I was exhausted from the excitement and also was still jet-lagged. I slept in the car most of the way. We did stop off in Wennings, which was the original village from where the founders of my hometown came. We wen to the remains of an old church. It was pretty much just three stone walls. Yvonne told me there used to also be an old wooden cross, but it was not there anymore. The surrounding scenery was beautiful. I really liked being in the country.
My last night in Gedern was spent with the Reekers. Lilo and walked to the house and we all played Yahtzee. Then Yvonne, Michael, and I went to bar nearby and I ordered some Apfelwein and we played Yahtzee some more. I really enjoyed the Apfelwein! We had great conversation, too. I was a lot of fun talking about various animals...trying to describe to them armadillos, porcupines, etc!
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