the vent

So, we've had our third assistant for a few weeks, and I'm pretty unhappy about it. In fact, I almost didn't even go in to work today. I'm nervous about buying the house because I am suddenly so unhappy with work that I want to quit and I don't want to have the burden of the house.

Yesterday, as I was cleaning up after the last surgery, H (the third assistant) told me that next week she was only going to have to leave early for her son's baseball games three days (we only work four days each week). I looked her square in the face and very calmly said, "I just want you to know that before you came back to work with us, Susan C had a meeting with Kelly and me. We were told that you would be coming back to work here, and we were told that this kind of behavior would not be happening this time."

She immediately took off for the front office and was in Susan's office for about ten minutes.

I was utterly exhausted. Then when I went to leave, I noticed that we were not set up for the next day. I WAS FUCKING PISSED! It was already one hour and fifteen minutes past quitting time. My blood sugar was low, I was tired. So I went to the break room and got a snack then came back and got everything ready like we are supposed to do before we leave. (H should have done this since I was first assistant on the last appointment. I assumed that it was all done, especially since she wanted to jet out early.)

I clocked out. I have missed my group exercise class, which is something I really look forward to. It's not a husband, or a child, but that doesn't mean that it's not important to me or that I can just stay late every night.

I started crying in the parking lot. I didn't want to go home. I called Christy. Her husband was working at the hospital, and I went over to her house for some company. We ate some dinner and talked and I did feel better. We didn't just talk about work, either.

I got home about ten, didn't fall asleep until a little after 11, woke up at 2:20 and never went back to sleep. At 5am, since I was so awake, I decided to get up and go work out, especially since I didn't get to go the night before and because I knew that H had already penciled herself out of the schedule early this afternoon.

It's such fucking bullshit. Kelly was on time this morning as well. I told her that H and I had a little exchange this night before, just to be aware of that. Kelly is pretty frustrated with the situation as well.

When we had our meeting with Susan, we were told that we were lagging with just the two of us and things were not getting done. SO Dr. S was bringing H back as a third. Both Kelly and I think that what really happened it that H had been begging for her job back since she quit last year, and he finally gave in. Because Kelly and I were never informed that we were lagging. We were never corrected on things that were being done incompletely or wrongly. When asked, no one could give specific examples.

I was actually bored, and was going to ask for more work. Now I'm really bored.

And I'm not happy. It is that same shit it was before. H comes in late and has to leave early. She doesn't want to work. I catch her on her cell phone every single time I go in the back to get something. She leaves early for lunch. The first week, she asked me twice if it she could leave early and I gave her static. Then she stopped asking me/telling me and just started to leave. With work still to be done. And she is messy. There is a back office that is a common space for 5 people. She has papers and catalogs and shipping materials all over the desk. She doesn't follow through with cleaning her instruments, or with putting the room back the way its supposed to me. She is also quite rude. If I am using a computer and she needs it, she will come in and say, "move. i need to use the computer." FUCK!! ME!! I'm emailing xrays. You will have to wait until I'm done or go to another station.

I'm so sick of this. I want out.