overhaul

I've been super freaking out on the inside all day. This morning, my boss told me we are hiring another nurse, and we're going to cross train her to do certain tasks that are currently only done by me. I do understand and agree that it is important to have everyone up to speed, but I feel more secure when when I am the only one accountable.

I am also kinda frustrated with this decision because I was going to use the fact that the other nurse and I have worked just the two of us just fine for the past two years as leverage to ask for a raise. My perception is that I have helped the office run more smoothly and efficiently and since we haven't had to pay a third nurse for the past two years, I should earn more money.

Also, I feel I am under-utilized. I was actually going to ask for more work, or if there was another task that could be designated out to me to further help the office run smoothly and efficiently.

I currently already do all the xray/photo importing, sharpening, implant returns, and weekly equipment maintenance, in addition to the consults/treatment/fee presentation and scrub duties. I never have to come in early or stay late to finish my work. I can handle everything I am supposed to do during the day when I am clocked in; I manage my time very well.

I'm curious as to why the doctor feels we need a third. I am afraid that I will be too quiet and retreat into myself if I become uncomfortable; I know that has been a problem in the past. I don't want to get pushed out!

This job is the only reason I'm still even in STL. If I become unhappy with it or get fired, I am not going to get another job in STL; I'm going to move somewhere else.

I was supposed to go look at houses again on Friday, but I kinda want to cancel and see what happens at work over the next few months.

I'm going to Costa Rica in July for sure, and plans are in the work for Greece in the August but not locked down. There is also a group of 15 cyclists leaving San Diego in September for southern tier, arriving in St. Augustine in November. I would like to do that. Then maybe stay in Florida for a while, at least for the winter. At the end of the day, though, all I know is that I don't know.

This song is a fuckin' jam: