Let's Get Incredible!

So I have not been sleeping for about two weeks. I have also not been eating. I just have no appetite. I eat a little at lunch b/c I know I need to. I weighed myself today and I was ~135lbs.

My brother has been causing problems again. I'm so over him, and I'm kind of pissed at myself for giving him the benefit of a thought of a chance that he might be ready for change and really mean he was going to get clean this time.

I definitely have moved on from my freak out last weekend and following two days of grief.

I bought a bike on Tuesday. It rides so smooth.

I went to a show on Tuesday night. Andrew played. He looked totally cute. Sweaty curls plastered to his forehead, flipping out from under his hat. Smiles to the eyes, hands on my butt out on the street. Mi oso rojo. I don't know why I can't just commit to him. If I let him get away, it'll be me who fucked up!

On Wednesday, I started to get pissed! Pissed like, "FUCK YOU, GIUSEPPE!" You fucked up! And your new girlfriend looks like a harpie with that crooked nose and jacked teeth! Whatever. I hope she enjoys your complex about your junk. I don't really mean that, I'm just going through the anger phase.

Last night I took the bike out to the levee for just over an hour. It's dang hot outside but I pedaled so hard I could have puked. I'm sitting in my room in my underwear right now. All I have had to eat today is a green machine Naked drink and a handful of mixed nuts.

I drove to Carbondale at around ten pm and checked into a hotel. I didn't fall asleep until nearly 330am. I stayed up a bit looking over my study guides and texting a friend in MPLS.

Today I took the DAT and all I have to say is "Well, that went much better than I was expecting." I was seriously ready to drop out of school going into it, but I scored higher than average for incoming students, so I guess I should keep on.

Florida is still number one choice, but unlikely. I really want to go to school in a college town where the only thing going on is school and the whole community is kind of built up around the school's presense and its own little universe.

Summer is here. I'm doing rad shit, getting incredible, because it's my alternative to jumping in front of a train.

Have not named the new bike yet.