Third weekend out of town. Whipfler, Nighthawk, and I drove up to Chicago together on Saturday. We thought we had three tix for the sold out show at the Bottle. On the way there, Dave got a text from the guy, and turns out we only had one. Nighthawk was able to get in on the guest list, I went to Kevin and Ben's house and took a nap.
Picked everyone up after the show and headed on over to the Gator Loft for afterhours party with Conniption Fits, Prizzy Prizzy Please, and Underground Railroad. Again, it was a straight up dance party in there! I saw Dierker; he was looking totally slim and I told him so. Said he has been doing triathelons. We exchanged info. I will take my bike to C'dale this weekend and if its not raining when I'm done with my test, we will ride! I had a great time, then I saw Giuseppe, with his new girl. I got really upset and started to get a migraine.
We all left at about 6am, the city was foggy but eerily beautiful. I slept at Danny's house on the couch. It was a very firm couch and extremely confortable. I was not able to sleep very soundly b/c I didn't feel well...I was dehydrated, hungry, and my mind was racing with emotions. I was starting to feel better about the break up since moving back to STL, but once I saw him again with a new girl, I felt like my heart had been ripped out again. All I could think about was how I wanted to cut myself really badly.
Rained all day Sunday. I laid awake on the couch with my hoodie over my eyes, listening to rain and I cried more than I'd like to admit.
I didn't really want to take a shower, but I smelled like beer and cigarettes, so I washed my hair and headed out to Subterranean for Dopamines, Dear Landlord, and Slow Death. Mike Erg performed a solo set, and Be My Doppleganger, Transgressions, and Vacation Bible School also played. I was mostly there for Dopamines, DL, and SD.
Slow Death performed really well. I just really like Jesse's songs, and I believe him when he sings them. They also really fit well mith my general feelings of sadness, especially on this particular day. Dopamines set was a fucking abortion. They stopped during three songs that I remember. But everyone was going fucking crazy and there was beer and cans flying all over the place! Dear Landlord was on as well. The sound was awesome, people were dancing and singing along. They did not play as long as they did at Beat Kitchen two weeks ago, but the set was still solid. Carl swung by after work and was able to catch their set, too.
That show got out around 10pm I think, and we headed to the Bottle to see Marked Men. A lot of people were there. I drank some more beers and bought a round of Rumpleminz for the Eerg and I. Got into the photo booth with Ruzicka. I was feeling a lot better. Roy, Mike, and I went to Delilah's to see Shaun for one round before it was last call. Then we went back to Roy's house and passed out downstairs. Roy took Mike to ORD this morning at like 530am. I slept until 1030am, went to pick up Dave and Jason, and we headed back to STL.
Passed TTK on the highway about fifty miles south of the city. Made it home with no problems. I cut myself as soon as I got home, and I am feeling better. But I also feel ashamed about it. This weekend was a lot of fun and I don't regret going and seeing friends and hanging out and singing along. I just need to be more mature and handle the inevitable more healthily.
Carbondale this weekend for a test!
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