Saturday, July 14, 2012

Womb-mates

I had another nightmare on Friday night. In the dream, my brother died of a heroin overdose. The police officer told us he was found under the Kingshighway overpass, and he was all alone and had been there for a while. I started screaming!!!!! And I thought, I just drove over that bridge earlier that day and he was down there the whole time! We all knew this was going to happen, and I was surprised that I was so upset about it.

When I woke up, I (obviously) remembered the dream and was really upset for the rest of the day about it. Even the feelings I remember in the dream...the surprise at being upset about it even though we all knew it was an inevitable. The strange feeling when I thought, "wow, I just drove over that bridge!" And the extreme sadness and utter heartbreak of losing my brother. I love him so much, and I don't want him to leave like this!

I went out on Ex-Girlfriend for a few hours this morning and then just hung around the house in the afternoon. Dad phoned me and said that I needed to take him to Valley Park. The VPPD called and Scott had overdosed. He was alive, but in police custody, and we needed to go get his car.

I dreamed about him overdosing when he was overdosing. Womb-mate, I don't want it to end like this. I love you so much even though you think that I don't.

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