Dirty Jokes v7.12

Dr S has been laughing for two weeks about this. When he laughs, it makes me laugh, too. And then he laughs more.

A little bit of back story: At work, we know with which patients we can joke around and which ones we can't. Sometimes when we are done with placing an implant on a man, Dr S will tell the patient, "The ladies all get t-shirts that say, 'I got screwed by Dr S and I have the smile to prove it.'" There are two other variations of: I got screwed by Dr S and it was over before I knew it" or "...I didn't feel a thing." The men think this is hilarious. Sometimes Dr S will tell the ladies that they will get a t-shirt. Again, we know who can take jokes and who can't. The office manager even had about ten shirts screened with this text on it!! The few people who have them seriously think its, like, the funniest thing ever. And I admit, I think it is kinda funny, too.

So, last week we placed an implant on this lady and Dr S tells her the joke when we're done. I took her up to the front and also asked the next patient to come on back. The second patient, SG, was super nervous and had eaten 15mg of Diazepam and was suuuuuuper sedated. So I get her standing and she takes my arm for support. The first patient, JH, turns and asks, "Oh! Are you having an implant, too? You'll be fine! Just make sure that doctor wears a condom!"

I was absolutely horrified (even though it was hilarious! My eyes got big and I started laughing nervously! The two ladies working at the front desk were also laughing nervously. My patient just stood there, unamused, mouth agape, drooling she was so heavily sedated. She was def one of the ones we know we can't joke with! And here she is, practically incapacitated with benzos, and this lady is pretty much ttelling her that Dr S is going to...screw her.

So at the end of the day, I was up at the desk with Dr S and our office manager and I told them the story about what JH said to SG earlier that morning. Then the office manager said totally deadpan, "Don't worry. There's never been any disease transmission with this bone."

And we have all been laughing about this for two weeks plus. I'm laughing about it right now as I'm typing. I'm sure its funnier to me than it is to you, reader.