Undefined

So today I was minding my own business, actually having an alright time. Just got home from the pool, swam 2600 in about an hour, that included 800 kick. And suddenly shablam! I saw a photo posted of Guiseppe and his new girlfriend outside of a restaurant in Steamboat. I guess its serious enough that they are going on trips together and she is meeting his family.

I felt destroyed seeing this. Like it was all happening again.

And my heart started to race and I got really upset. I immediately wanted to cut myself. I cleaned my room to keep my mind off it. I called Roy and left a voicemail. I texted Ben. Then I went in the bathroom and I did it three times. I immediately felt guilty.

Ben texted me back and Roy called me back a few hours later. I felt so ashamed admitting what I did, and I feel guilty about it now.

I have since calmed down. I even went on a bike ride for an hour, the usual loop.

Also, my bro moved back home two days ago. I'm not sure if I want to say he moved back home. He has, like, one change of clothes and that is it. He's sleeping on the couch downstairs. My mom bought him a phone. I am feeling very anxious about the whole situation.

Here's a video I found of him the day before my parents bailed him out:

http://vimeo.com/22042655

Quite the Video - Scott Furkin from Art McAuliffe on Vimeo.

Also, I have to pay for school by this Thursday. The class I want on TR is full, so i'm in a section on MW that I really don't want to be in. I'm hopping that some one will drop and I can swoop in and snag an open spot. I keep checking the website to see if there are any openings. I've also debated dropping out, but I know that I would just be upset with myself if I did. I need to get this shit done and get on with my life. I'm a 30 year old adult, not a 15 year old crybaby.

Ben reminded me to be patient. I'm just getting restless. If I get into dental school, I would like to quit working the April before and go on my bike journey. I really hope I can get some one else to go on it with me. If not, I will do it solo. My number one choice to go would be Rootbeer b/c I know that he is up for an adventure, does ride, and he doesn't drink/smoke which would mesh well with my plans.

If I don't get in, I would still like to go on the trip. Maybe see if I can get off three months from work (HA!!). If not, then I will have to quit and just figure shit out when I get done. Maybe I'll meet some one along the way or maybe I will find a place that I really like and I will just stay there. Or maybe I'll move to Gainesville already and be a townie and run my own place and join the Gator Swim Team.

I have been looking into cool shit to do this weekend for my four day weekend. Copyrights are having a two night record release show in Chicago, but I really don't want to go up there b/c 1. I just don't care and 2. There is a very decent chance I'll see Giuseppe and I'll just end up getting upset again.

Dopamines are playing a house party in Cincinatti on Friday. Might go check that out, hit up some sweet veg places in Ohio. Would like to see Nathan in Nashville, but he's busy and doesn't return my messages.

I really want to get some new tattoos. I want Roger to do them because I trust him, but again, I am having a hard time being patient. I have looked at some of the portfolio's at All-Star, and I liked what I saw. I might swing by sometime after work this week if it is storming and I can't ride,

Also, Roy and I are going on a badass road trip to the East Coast in three weeks. I am having a hard time being patient for this. I need to get the fuck outta here.