Third Down!

Third weekend out of town. Whipfler, Nighthawk, and I drove up to Chicago together on Saturday. We thought we had three tix for the sold out show at the Bottle. On the way there, Dave got a text from the guy, and turns out we only had one. Nighthawk was able to get in on the guest list, I went to Kevin and Ben's house and took a nap.

Picked everyone up after the show and headed on over to the Gator Loft for afterhours party with Conniption Fits, Prizzy Prizzy Please, and Underground Railroad. Again, it was a straight up dance party in there! I saw Dierker; he was looking totally slim and I told him so. Said he has been doing triathelons. We exchanged info. I will take my bike to C'dale this weekend and if its not raining when I'm done with my test, we will ride! I had a great time, then I saw Giuseppe, with his new girl. I got really upset and started to get a migraine.

We all left at about 6am, the city was foggy but eerily beautiful. I slept at Danny's house on the couch. It was a very firm couch and extremely confortable. I was not able to sleep very soundly b/c I didn't feel well...I was dehydrated, hungry, and my mind was racing with emotions. I was starting to feel better about the break up since moving back to STL, but once I saw him again with a new girl, I felt like my heart had been ripped out again. All I could think about was how I wanted to cut myself really badly.

Rained all day Sunday. I laid awake on the couch with my hoodie over my eyes, listening to rain and I cried more than I'd like to admit.

I didn't really want to take a shower, but I smelled like beer and cigarettes, so I washed my hair and headed out to Subterranean for Dopamines, Dear Landlord, and Slow Death. Mike Erg performed a solo set, and Be My Doppleganger, Transgressions, and Vacation Bible School also played. I was mostly there for Dopamines, DL, and SD.

Slow Death performed really well. I just really like Jesse's songs, and I believe him when he sings them. They also really fit well mith my general feelings of sadness, especially on this particular day. Dopamines set was a fucking abortion. They stopped during three songs that I remember. But everyone was going fucking crazy and there was beer and cans flying all over the place! Dear Landlord was on as well. The sound was awesome, people were dancing and singing along. They did not play as long as they did at Beat Kitchen two weeks ago, but the set was still solid. Carl swung by after work and was able to catch their set, too.

That show got out around 10pm I think, and we headed to the Bottle to see Marked Men. A lot of people were there. I drank some more beers and bought a round of Rumpleminz for the Eerg and I. Got into the photo booth with Ruzicka. I was feeling a lot better. Roy, Mike, and I went to Delilah's to see Shaun for one round before it was last call. Then we went back to Roy's house and passed out downstairs. Roy took Mike to ORD this morning at like 530am. I slept until 1030am, went to pick up Dave and Jason, and we headed back to STL.

Passed TTK on the highway about fifty miles south of the city. Made it home with no problems. I cut myself as soon as I got home, and I am feeling better. But I also feel ashamed about it. This weekend was a lot of fun and I don't regret going and seeing friends and hanging out and singing along. I just need to be more mature and handle the inevitable more healthily.

Carbondale this weekend for a test!

Krazy Fest Recap!

Last weekend was Krazy Fest. First time for me in Louisville for an extended period of time. I will admit that I wasn't too particularly psyched on the line-up, but was looking forward to a weekend out of town and sweet hang outs with friends.












+ / -

+ Thursday go on an everquest to find Fitz's rootbeer on the east side after bike ride to the levee with Jeremy. Excellent air temps, pretty sunset, water fowl and three white tail deer.

+ Drive Friday was great! Sunshine, blue sky, warm air temps. Hoosier National Forest is beautiful! I had no idea southern Indiana was so hilly!

+ Ron and Trainwreck were in the room next to us; saw about twenty other people from STL, more from Chi, and my forever favorite from NJ.

+ Samoan midgit mosh to Bane Friday night, Phil and I closed down the pool! 230AM, baby!











+ Veg brunch with Booker on Sat.

- Rain Saturday afternoon. I was not in a good mood.

+ Then Hot Water took the stage. First chord turned the day around! Sweet Hot Water set, then to Fantasy Island strip club for Dane after party and Ed's birthday.

+ Fantasy Island: The bouncer says, "There's a lot of people from out of state tonight!" That place had no idea what was about to happen! The bands and Ed's birthday dance in front of everyone.

+ Sunday all-you-can-eat veg brunch with Booker, Zoo with Beth and Madeline, Bouncing Souls set took me back! We are all exhausted!































+ Monday said goodbye and drove home uneventful.

Was still exhausted on Wednesday. Finally have caught up on sleep! Chi again this weekend for more shows!

Summer Slippage

Hit somewhat of a wall the past 24 hours. I hope its just the rain.

Allegedly, I drunk dialed Andrew last Saturday when I was in Chicago and he confronted me about it yesterday in the car. I felt totally ambushed. I got really upset. We were involved in a car accident and then a road rage incident that involved two ignorant nigs throwing things out of their car into the window of our car, as we were driving down the highway.

I freaked out and called 911. Yesterday was just awful and I want to to go away.

I came home and I just wanted to cut myself. It took a lot of energy to not do it.

I went up to the church and helped my mom weed the flower beds. Then I went out to eat with my parents, and I felt a lot better.

Woke up today and I feel too lethargic to be apethatic. I hope its just the rain. I'm sitting here now, listening to LFTR PLLR. The songs are perfect for my mood, the gloomy weather, the anxiety I'm feeling for the afternoon ahead. I want to cut myself again. I'm sitting here typing and hitting replay so I won't do it.

First Down!

Dear Chicago, you are a beast. I love you, but I also kind of hate you.

Took the Megabus up on Saturday morning, got into town and it was cold and raining. My sinuses were pissed. Seriously like seven people bailed on me for hanging out, but luckily Carl was off work.

I walked to Sultan's and got down on some lentil soup and a falafal for mad cheap, then met up with Carl and his roommate and a friend for some beers.

Checked out Carl's new place and drunk pop punk dance party ensued. I've said it before and I will say it again, even though everybody knows: TBR's "Total" is a fucking jam. The whole album is totally solid, not one track gets skipped.

We went to check out an art exhibit and had some more beers before heading to the Beat Kitchen. Place was packed, so that was cool. We ordered some food and stayed in the front room socializing with Danny and Colin, Aaron and Kate, and the Misfit showed up, too, sans mustache. PBR tall cans, a shot of Rumpleminz that burned a hole in my guts but opened up my sinuses, and 13 conversations about auto/erotic asphyxiation.

Missed This Is My Fist, which was unfortunate. Dear Landlord played last. Easily the best set I've seen them perform. Tour tight as hell, two Rivethead covers, some new songs. Good scene up by the stage. Lots of singing along and dancing but no one being an asshole about it. Got the new Dopamines/Dear Landlord split.

After the show I took a cab back to Roy's house and passed the fuck out! Slept until like 5am when Colin texted me that he was waaaay into the set and just walking home. Jeez, I wish I could still hang til that late and be functional the next day!

Today Roy and I went to Bleeding Heart to get some treats then met up with some people at The Handlebar for delicious veg food. Went to Sulatn's to get a falafal to go to have for the bus ride home.

Rode the bus home, studied and slept; now I'm wide awake. Just found out that Dear Landlord has been added to the Sunday show at WCSC with Dopamines, and I AM SO AMPED about this!

First weekend of, like, six out of town weekends in a row down. Chicago, you are a beast. I love you, and I look forward to seeing you again in a few weeks.

SHOWS, FOOL!

I am SO AMPED right now.

May 2011 is not fucking around!

Looking forward to Dear Landlord at Beat Kitchen, then Soul Dance Party at the Bottle.

Road trip to Krazy Fest with Chi party animals; it's been waaay too long!

Toys that Kill/Arrivals/Marked Men in MPLS, CHI, and STL.

Dopamines at Sub T at the end of the month.

Plus a ton of local shit thrown in there!

This video gives me chills; I love hearing the crowd sing along and seeing all teh fists up in the air.