good vibrations (oh lordy!)

so i bought a vibrator yesterday after work. carl and i met up on milwaukee and went to the store together. there was some awful music playing, but the guy behind the counter was helpful. i purchased a top seller in the mid-price range. it rotates and vibrates. i chose it over the other ones available b/c its shaped like an actual cock and is waterproof. i also bought some top shelf lube, which in hindsight might have been a little unnecessary b/c i have only been using this thing in the shower where there is plenty of moisture.

i'm surprised i've taken this long to finally buy one of these things. i totally love it. banged myself out in the shower last night before going out to meet up with friends, and then again this afternoon after i got back home from riding my bicycle. but its weird at the same time. there i am, standing in the shower with one leg up on the ledge, humping this blue silicon dick as it buzzes and grinds away, and i get off and all, but its definitely not the same as doing it with some one else. i miss a feeling of connection. and its more rigid than an actual penis.

i've also put some serious thought into joining an alt-porno site. boy/girl films, maybe pics. but i'd do it for the money. the dudes on burning angel are pretty hot, and i would totally get banged out by them on film for money. also, i feel like my ability to expel mass amounts of liquid out of my pussy, repeatedly, is something i would be willing to let the right company exploit in exchange for ca$h. i really don't want to rack up a 100 grand in debt for school.

only concern is that, obviously, everything is done bareback, and i'm not used to doing it without condoms. which i know it would feel a thousand times more awesome, but i don't want to get preg or catch anything. i'd also be concerned if my school found out that i was involved in something like that, that i might get kicked out. so far, i have not seen in clauses on the school sites i am looking at, that have wording like that. besides, the schools prefer students who can pay straight up instead of rely on loans b/c the loans are not guaranteed to come through, and i asked my mom, and my parents are not going to be able to help me pay for it. so its up to me.