...or Cherry Dr. Pepper.
I've been on the fence about this one, and after much debate, decided that I am a fucking adult and dropped the card in the mail.
My sweet dude who broke it off via text last month's birthday is today, and I have been back and forth about sending a card.
My argument for not was uncertainty that my intentions were not 100% pure. Perhaps a sincere note could actually be a slap in the face? A gloating air that I am the better/more mature person? Or maybe it would give me the proverbial last word, since I didn't respond to the final text. Perhaps it would even be somewhat of a sore spot/salt on a wound type reaction? Although my uncertainty was with "look at me, I'm the better person" train of thought, I'm not sure of the thoughts of the other party and don't want to be obnoxious or perceived as cruel or an idiot.
I did decide to send the card. I was against it all last week, but then I saw Bryan at the lotto show on Saturday. No eye contact was made, but I did see him across the room. He seemed to have been there solo. I just want him to know that I hope/want/know we can be cool seeing each other out. Like, a wave or quick smile. No awkwardness. I understand that things don't work out all the time, or people have a change of heart, or timing is bad, etc. That last thing I want is some one to remain in a situation he doesn't want. I also do sincerely hope that he figures out what he wants. I have periods of darkness, and I know the pain of those depths, and I don't like to see anyone distraught or suffering.
I opted for a card because it is more personal and because I truly believe that I am not alone in my excitement in getting real mail. The surprise of correspondence that is neither junk nor bill.
The stamp, post-mark, handwritten address.
Physically opening the envelope, the anticipation of the written text, studying the style of the letters and noticing how a person loops the cross of her "t" in one stroke into the next letter. Are the down strokes of the "y" or "g" happy and bubbly, or are they hard and straight? Are the letters sloppy, or slanted, or patient and precise?
I went to the store and selected a card that was very appropriate. It's a simple design with a drawing of a beer can. The text on the front reads, "It's your birthday! That calls for a beer!" On the inside, "Doesn't everything? Hope it's happy!"
Simple. Not sappy. Neutral. Light. Not cute. Playful.
I thought for a long time about what I wanted to write on the inside. I remember an article I read over the summer about how the 33rd year was allegedly the most happy, and I remember us having a conversation about it.
The text I wrote follows:
"I sincerely hope that your 33rd year is the best yet! I enjoyed your company; you made me smile and feel good about myself, and while I'm disappointed that the situation ended the way it did, I understand and appreciate that things don't always work out, people have a change of heart, timing is bad, etc. I wish you happiness and luck in the coming year, figuring out and finding what you want."
A heartfelt note that does express how I feel. It also has a tone of goodbye in it.
Possibly even forgiveness.
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Monday, December 10, 2012
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Lotto recap
Opted to not go to Chicago this weekend, and I have several excuses. Which are B.O.L.O.G.N.A.
1. my uterus is trying to kill me
2. weather is cold/rainy there
3. roy, carl, and some other people I contacted were kinda busy with other stuff
4. i was pretty curious about band lotto, which was last night.
It was at a new venue downtown, which is a really nice place. Nice tile floor, large bar area with a nice bar top. I would like to see them succeed, and I don't think they will be booking any more hardcore shows since people in the audience can't handle their shit. People were throwing bottles onto the floor, which then became slippery, not to mention the hazard of broken glass. It was disappointing to see happening at a new place that is just trying to do good things for the city. I will say, I do know that one of the participants in the show and who was one of the people smashing bottles, is currently banned from pretty much every other venue in the city. So he obviously has a history of fucking up.
I arrived slightly before 8pm and was punked into standing around for nearly two hours before the show started. There was a lot of people in attendance, which was awesome. I mostly spoke with Ashley and Josh. Also Ron and said hi to his wife and Matt and Clarkson Sr.
I did have a nice time while waiting, though, and did have excellent conversation with Ashley. She and Josh are setting me up on double date with one of their friends who they feel our personalities will mesh well. He's pretty young, 27, but I will agree to at least meet up and if nothing else have a nice evening out socializing with pleasant company.
The show finally got underway and I was pretty unimpressed with the first band. I don't know if it was the sound/mix, or just BassAmp's voice, but I couldn't hear the vox at all. It was very off-putting. The reality also hit me that all these bands were going to be rusty and also none of us were going to know any of the songs. So everyone was kinda painfully standing in their spot and there just wasn't opportunity for movement/singing along.
The bands did get better as the show went on. I admit, that it was pretty awesome to see the usual suspects in different roles. Seriously! Ron on guitar?!? Shaun on vox?!? SZ killing it behind the kit!?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Highlight of the night goes to MH and JS switch-a-roo and the final chorus "Bling me the head of Lob Luzicka". Also, second band, for their cover, went into the intro for "Waiting Room," and my immediate reaction was "NO WAY!" Then when the beat dropped, and they should have hit it back up, Travis yelled, "FUCK You, THAT's ALL We LEARNED!" Badass.
By the last two bands, though, some of the spectators were pretty hammered and starting to move around more. There was also this white trash looking dude who looked like he would be into Nickelback, spazzing out. He had to have been on E or something. Was dancing even when there was no music. Some one threw him on the floor.
There was also a lot of smelly people. Many of whom I have never seen at shows before. I'm curious as to from where they came. Also, I didn't see many hot girls there. I just don't like/don't get the new 'hipster' look that these younger girls are wearing. Did see a dude in that Descendents Xmas Sweater that has been making the rounds online, and I must admit, it was just as hideous in person as I expected from looking at the pictures! HAHA!
Also, Johnny B, that sly dog, kissed me on the lips!!! "just one peck, right here on my cheek. I spun the bottle and it landed on you. just one peck."
"i'm wearing lip gloss."
"that's okay. right here on my cheek."
i lean in, and he quickly turns his head and plants one right one my lips!!!! we all laughed.
Do I regret not going to Chicago? Perhaps. Show last night was fine for what it was, but nothing so fucking awesome that it would go down in history for me personally.
Since we were all teased last night, here is the full song:
1. my uterus is trying to kill me
2. weather is cold/rainy there
3. roy, carl, and some other people I contacted were kinda busy with other stuff
4. i was pretty curious about band lotto, which was last night.
It was at a new venue downtown, which is a really nice place. Nice tile floor, large bar area with a nice bar top. I would like to see them succeed, and I don't think they will be booking any more hardcore shows since people in the audience can't handle their shit. People were throwing bottles onto the floor, which then became slippery, not to mention the hazard of broken glass. It was disappointing to see happening at a new place that is just trying to do good things for the city. I will say, I do know that one of the participants in the show and who was one of the people smashing bottles, is currently banned from pretty much every other venue in the city. So he obviously has a history of fucking up.
I arrived slightly before 8pm and was punked into standing around for nearly two hours before the show started. There was a lot of people in attendance, which was awesome. I mostly spoke with Ashley and Josh. Also Ron and said hi to his wife and Matt and Clarkson Sr.
I did have a nice time while waiting, though, and did have excellent conversation with Ashley. She and Josh are setting me up on double date with one of their friends who they feel our personalities will mesh well. He's pretty young, 27, but I will agree to at least meet up and if nothing else have a nice evening out socializing with pleasant company.
The show finally got underway and I was pretty unimpressed with the first band. I don't know if it was the sound/mix, or just BassAmp's voice, but I couldn't hear the vox at all. It was very off-putting. The reality also hit me that all these bands were going to be rusty and also none of us were going to know any of the songs. So everyone was kinda painfully standing in their spot and there just wasn't opportunity for movement/singing along.
The bands did get better as the show went on. I admit, that it was pretty awesome to see the usual suspects in different roles. Seriously! Ron on guitar?!? Shaun on vox?!? SZ killing it behind the kit!?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Highlight of the night goes to MH and JS switch-a-roo and the final chorus "Bling me the head of Lob Luzicka". Also, second band, for their cover, went into the intro for "Waiting Room," and my immediate reaction was "NO WAY!" Then when the beat dropped, and they should have hit it back up, Travis yelled, "FUCK You, THAT's ALL We LEARNED!" Badass.
By the last two bands, though, some of the spectators were pretty hammered and starting to move around more. There was also this white trash looking dude who looked like he would be into Nickelback, spazzing out. He had to have been on E or something. Was dancing even when there was no music. Some one threw him on the floor.
There was also a lot of smelly people. Many of whom I have never seen at shows before. I'm curious as to from where they came. Also, I didn't see many hot girls there. I just don't like/don't get the new 'hipster' look that these younger girls are wearing. Did see a dude in that Descendents Xmas Sweater that has been making the rounds online, and I must admit, it was just as hideous in person as I expected from looking at the pictures! HAHA!
Also, Johnny B, that sly dog, kissed me on the lips!!! "just one peck, right here on my cheek. I spun the bottle and it landed on you. just one peck."
"i'm wearing lip gloss."
"that's okay. right here on my cheek."
i lean in, and he quickly turns his head and plants one right one my lips!!!! we all laughed.
Do I regret not going to Chicago? Perhaps. Show last night was fine for what it was, but nothing so fucking awesome that it would go down in history for me personally.
Since we were all teased last night, here is the full song:
Friday, December 7, 2012
SHORTS in DEC
Wow. What a gorgeous day! Current air temps ~57F, variable/overcast cloud conditions.
But I did go out on Ex-Girlfriend (in SHORTS!) for 80 minutes. Was thwarted by my arch nemesis loose gravel around mile 18 and turned around.
A lovely outing. Rides like today's make me second guess my decision to leave.
But I did go out on Ex-Girlfriend (in SHORTS!) for 80 minutes. Was thwarted by my arch nemesis loose gravel around mile 18 and turned around.
A lovely outing. Rides like today's make me second guess my decision to leave.
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
All in a day's work
I did not almost throw up at work today, but last patient was def top three most disgusting things I have encountered at work to date.
Tooth on the upper posterior was rotten, and the bacteria had destroyed bone all the way up to the sinus. For twenty minutes, we scraped out up-to-pea-sized chunks of slimy, red, inflammed tissue that had black spots on it. I'm not sure what the black spots were exactly. With the location of the tissue in the sinus, it very well could have been a fungal. Or it could have possibly been necrosis, although I am more likely to believe it was the former.
Tooth on the upper posterior was rotten, and the bacteria had destroyed bone all the way up to the sinus. For twenty minutes, we scraped out up-to-pea-sized chunks of slimy, red, inflammed tissue that had black spots on it. I'm not sure what the black spots were exactly. With the location of the tissue in the sinus, it very well could have been a fungal. Or it could have possibly been necrosis, although I am more likely to believe it was the former.
Monday, December 3, 2012
10 Items or Less
I must have looked extra wrecked tonight after 12+ hours at work with no break/no lunch. The clerk at the grocery store gave me a candy bar to cheer me up.
And it worked :)
And it worked :)
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Motivations
Karen asked for my help with a final project for one of her classes. She wanted me to shoot/edit a film for her to accompany her presentation. She recruited SC, and we shot the thing on Thursday night in South City.
When I imported the footage on Friday, the audio was effed! A constant crackle and buzz, like a bad mic connection, that I couldn't hear when monitoring during the capture. I coulnd't isolate it with my software, so we had to reshoot. I found my shotgun mic (which I hand't been able to on Thursday, and the one I went with is (obviously) broken), and used it along with exernal field mixer. So we reshot today. Didn't take long. And man, that audio sounds fantastic!! It's so crisp. It amazes me at how much difference using a tri-pod and an external mic makes with the quality of the final product.
I came home, imported the footage, had the thing cut up and pieced together in about 5 hours (i'm incredibly patient, an excellent quality in an editor), and exported it to three different file types for her.
The final product is only 4:35, but it was a nice little starter. I haven't worked on anything for...six months, and it felt nice to get my feet wet. I'm hoping to shoot something longer (20 minutes) in the winter. I have my laptop back up using HDMI into the television for writing, and then my tower has all the editing software.
On Saturday, Karen and I met up with some friends for trivia at BDHS. We came in fourth place (purse to top three) by one point! It was a super long night, too...didn't finish until nearly 11:30.
I also purchased a remoted trigger for my SLR! Y'all ready for this?!!?!
When I imported the footage on Friday, the audio was effed! A constant crackle and buzz, like a bad mic connection, that I couldn't hear when monitoring during the capture. I coulnd't isolate it with my software, so we had to reshoot. I found my shotgun mic (which I hand't been able to on Thursday, and the one I went with is (obviously) broken), and used it along with exernal field mixer. So we reshot today. Didn't take long. And man, that audio sounds fantastic!! It's so crisp. It amazes me at how much difference using a tri-pod and an external mic makes with the quality of the final product.
I came home, imported the footage, had the thing cut up and pieced together in about 5 hours (i'm incredibly patient, an excellent quality in an editor), and exported it to three different file types for her.
The final product is only 4:35, but it was a nice little starter. I haven't worked on anything for...six months, and it felt nice to get my feet wet. I'm hoping to shoot something longer (20 minutes) in the winter. I have my laptop back up using HDMI into the television for writing, and then my tower has all the editing software.
On Saturday, Karen and I met up with some friends for trivia at BDHS. We came in fourth place (purse to top three) by one point! It was a super long night, too...didn't finish until nearly 11:30.
I also purchased a remoted trigger for my SLR! Y'all ready for this?!!?!
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