LMNOP is five letters not one

on friday night i went to the lakeshore theater to see jim jefferies perform some stand up. i've seen him there two times previously, and dude is hilarious. i invited johnny to go there with me, and he agreed, so we met up at his house and pedaled on over.

all i can say is that it was quite the trainwreck. there was three openers and one mc. the mc was awful. he was not funny and at one time was almost booed off the stage and the owner of the place came over the PA and tried to get him to get off the stage already but he wasn't taking the hint. the first comedian to perform was some wiener kid, but he was actually pretty alright. i laughed at his jokes. he was really quiet and kind of self-depricating. the second performed was a girl who told a bunch of rape/sex jokes. that shit is never funny. and she was not cute; like i didn't want to hear her talking about stealing virginities b/c she was gross. her set ended with her simulating a blow job on a participant from the audience. dude named mike stanley performed third and he was solid and totally professional. i laughed at his jokes as well.

then jim jefferies came out. he was incredibly intoixacated. he told a few stories i had heard him perform previously, and had some new stuff, too, so that was cool. the people sitting behind us were incredibly annoying. i wanted to slap the girl behind me with the back of my hand. jefferies came out and opened up strongly and had a good hour or so of solid set. then he started to get really drunk. the girl who opened kept bringing him drinks. i don't know how long we stayed and watch him up there, wiped slick, a fucking trainwreck. the show kind of just ended with him laying down of the stage and passing out. we ended up leaving just before 2am, which means he was up there for a good 2 1/2 hours. ridiculous.

i don't regret paying to see the performance, though.

i've had really bad nasal allergies the past two days. i think its tree pollen. i've been sneezing a lot, itchy watery eyes, stratchy throat, lots of mucous. i've been doing neti pot and taking claritan. today i went to a forest preserve in lake county with my bio class and participated in a controled burn activity. it was pretty sweet. we cleared a bunch of brush and dead wood and burned it. i got to use a fucking chainsaw! it was badass!! then we visited previous burn sites and planted seeds. i liked it a lot. i'm so tired right now; i am going to sleep hard tonight!

i almost didn't go b/c of the allergies. but i put some kleenex in my bag and wore a bandana over my face and actually was okay. i had to blow my nose a few times but didn't suffer too badly. i would definitely go to one of these controlled burns again.

on thursday night we had a chem test. it was horrible. there was 40 questions, and i was only sure about 17 of the problems. i was able to make educated guesses/crunch the number/use the answers to figure it out for all but 3 or 4. i am not the only one in class who is having difficulties with the tests. it frustrating b/c i understand the homework and am able to follow along in lecture. then out of nowhere we have these monster tests. we were originally give two hours to complete it. no one finished, so we were given more time. i left after 2 1/2 hours and i think i was the fifth or sixth one to finish. pathetic. at least i am not the only one with difficulties, and i hope there is strength in numbers.

there is a boy in my chem class who i am curious about. knowing me, i will probably just do nothing about it. b/c if i ask him out and he says no i will feel like a wiener having to sit across from him for the remainder of the semester. if he says yes and we go out but its not cool, then i will feel like a wiener having to sit across from him for the remainder of the semester. i don't even know if he has a gf. he never speaks of one. like some people, who always make a point to say, "oh my girlfried and i....or my boyfriend went...." etc. also i don't know how old he is. he looks older, like if he told me he was 30 i would believe that. its such a crap shoot with the night class. a majority of people i go to school with are older and have their own families and whatnot, and they go to school at night b/c that have to work and stuff during the day. there is also the dilemma of what activity i would like to ask him to do with me. my vote is to sit on the porch and drink beer. i don't know if he drinks alcohol. i also thought about baseball game, but i don't know if he's into baseball. i know i'm not that interested in spending money on a game and then paying $9 per drink once we're there. i also have considered asking him to ride bikes in the forest preserve with me. i don't know if he has a bike, or when we would even do this if he says yes. i work six days a week, and go to school four. i do know that he works and goes to school (obviously) as well.

this blog is a lost cause. i'm drinking beer in my room.

i am going to attempt the DAT in june and i have the rest of my app set to submit. its going to cost no less than $1000 to just apply. that doesn't include the visits to any schools should i get invited to interview. i admit that i am terrified.

radar is a palindrome

Current mood: anxious

Probably safe to assume that spring is here to stay. Winter is passed and so is my desire to throw in the towel. It's amazing that I didn't do myself in this year, I know I have dwelled on it a lot.

I have been miserable and pissy and lashing out a lot, especially at work. I don't blame people for not wanting to hang out with me/go on dates with me/be my friend. I wouldn't want to be friends with me either.

At the beginning of March, as I was leaving class at 10pm on a Monday, I turned my phone back on and was bombarded with alerts for missed calls, new voicemails, and unread text messages. Dad, brother, sister, Aunt Patty. I was informed that my mom got really sick really fast and I needed to come back to STL as soon as I could so I could say goodbye to my mom.

I drove home and checked the bus schedule and train schedule. The overnight service during the week had been discontinued, and I didn't want to wait until morning b/c I knew that I wouldn't sleep anyway. I ended up driving all night. I left Chicago at about 11pm and cruised out of the city no problem. I-55 is a lonely road. I was a complete wreck the whole way home. I do not consider myself a religious person, but I was praying the whole way. Not like this not like this. Not now. Its not time. Not like this not like this.

I arrived at my parents' house at 330am and my bro was awake and strung out in the basement. Wiener dog was excited to see me and I took him out to the yard before we went upstairs to sleep.

When I went to the hospital, my mom was in the ICU with 9 IVs hooked up and an oxygen mask/breathing tubes on her face. At first she was mad that I was there, asking why wasn't I at work or if I was on spring break from school. She didn't realize how sick she was. She said that she knew she was in trouble if Sally was flying in. Everyone kind of shared a nervous glance b/c Aunt Patty and I were going to the airport to pick up Sally in a few hours.

My dad slept at the hospital every night. My Aunt Patty took the train in from KCMO, Aunt Nancy and Uncle Fred came to hospital every day. They just live in SoCo. Grandma Lucielle stayed with my mom for a long time, too. I have always sensed some sort of nonverbal tension between the two of them, but after this ordeal, I think that anything that might have been there is gone.

My mom eventually got better and is now home. She's tired a lot, and I went back over spring break to help around the house and cook for her and I worked in the yard, getting the flower beds ready for spring.

My job has been a cemetary for my soul this winter. Its been so slow, and I hate going in and sitting alonelylonelylone at the desk. The doctor has gotten mad at me on the few occassions he has caught me doing my homework while on the clock. But I don't see what the big deal is. How is me staring out the window doing nothing, waiting for the phone to ring, any different that me sitting at the desk reading my textbook, waiting for the phone to ring? I also have felt very frustrated b/c he sleeps in his office all day long. And charts just pile up unwritten. There are some that are over a month old, including a biopsy. Poor kid's tumor is just sitting in the little jar of fluid, labeled and ready to be shipped to the pathologist as soon as doc fills out the rest of the biospy report.

I have a second job working in a fucking fast food restaurant just so I can barely scrape by. I don't have any benefits with either job. No insurance, no holidays, no sick pay. If I'm not clocked in, I'm not getting anything. Rereading what I have just written in this paragraph, and repeating it out loud....I sound fucking insane!

I have been looking for another job, but all the postings are for bilingual assistants or for burbs. Plus, I guess I should be thankful that I do have flexibility with the schedule to accommodate my school stuff.

I am taking great strides to be prepared for the DAT. I want to take it the first Wednesday in June. If I get a good enough score, then I can submit my application. If I don't score well, I will need to retake it after 90 days.

I am currently enrolled in summer school up here. I am going to take two classes. I will have to leave work at 2pm to do this, but I need these classes and there are no other sections available.

I am enrolled for fall semester at my current school up here and also at STLCC. Just in case I end up coming back home. I feel like such a pussy about it, too. I legit don't want to be here next year. I have been miserable and lonely and pissy and lashing out at people who don't deserve it. I don't want to be like that. But running away back to my parent's house is not the answer, and I know that deep down. I like to think about cooking dinner with my family and having people around to joke with and talk to. Riding bikes to the levee with my dad, taking wiener dog to the park. My support system is in STL.

I have been running in the forest between work and school for the past month. I run three to four times per week, a 3 mile loop each time. I don't go very fast, like just under 8minute miles. I ran today and when I came back to the office to change clothes and heat up some dinner before going to school, I saw the doctor across the parking lot, walking out of the store with groceries for dinner with his family, and suddenly I felt a lightness to my heart and I almost started to cry.

He's a nice person and I'm such a bitch a lot of the time. Even when we were in DC last weekend, some lady on the street asked me to take a picture of her and her family, and I was rude to her. I have hatred in my heart and it's wearing me out. The hatred is for me, and I'm directing it at every one else.

But my heart also wants what my heart wants. I was propositioned yesterday. I declined but I was flattered because I have been feeling exceptionally unpretty. If my hair is gross and ratty and my hoodie and shoes are tattered and I have a scowl on my face and my skin is gross because I've been drinking myself to sleep every night, I feel justification in people not wanting to date me. I still see Giuseppe at shows. I hate seeing him because it makes me sad. The last time I saw him was the night of the Dopamines show. I got really upset and ended up crying the whole walk home. I have gotten rid of everything that reminds me of him and his number has been deleted from my phone. I guess I should be thankful, though, that when I do run in to him, he is always nice to me and he is not with some one else. Still makes me sad, though.

The temperature has been so mild and people are starting to get outdoors more. I always see cute punk rock boys in the neighborhood, zipping around on their bikes in cut-offs. I want to meet one and have him care about me as much as I care about him. I want to go to the beach and drink beers on the porch and each tacos on the patio at irazu, and hold hands while walking around the park. I want to be on the radar.

Walking out of school tonight, rain starting falling fast and hard. I could hear a gentle thunder roll far off. The parking lot was deserted and I closed my eyes and listened to the rain for a moment. I remembered a project I wanted to do last October but never got around to. I am going to make an effort to take some pictures of the rain this spring. Different types of rain....hard rains, light rains, water gushing down the streets, overfilled storm drains, pouring out of gutters, light reflecting off the slick road and reflecting off the glass of the CTA.

I admit that I am looking forward to summertime. I will have a lighter school schedule, have promised myself that I would go to the beach at least twice a week to bask in the sun. Get the entrance exam out of the way, hopefully meet a nice boy. Lots of good shows coming through. Hot time summer in the city!


Current Conditions in Chicago:
air temp: 65F
Prec: stormy
knee: sore
heart: still beating


I am enclosing a video of one of my favorite songs by one of my favorite bands:

Wednesday, you have totally redeemed yourself!

Current mood:really?

......Found this video today. Totally awesome. This party was totally bitchin'

The Copyrights in STL from whitney on Vimeo.

Also, Dopamines played up here on Saturday night. It was at ronny's. The whole line up was solid....dopamines, doppleganger, that's incredible, gateway district, chinese telephones. There was a lot of people there and everyone was dancing and singing and way into the songs. I got a sweet poster off the wall. afterwards i made the mistake of going to after hours to see some more bands. i got really upset and should have probably just gone home after the show. i cried the whole way home and cried myself to sleep and had a bitchin' headache when i woke up on sunday and have pretty much felt lousy ever since.


but today I got an acceptance letter from a school in stl to start in the fall semester. registration is april 7th. i'm going to register online as soon as it opens so i can get into the classes i need at the time i need them. I'm really excited about going back home b/c anyone that cares about me is there and i'm done with feeling like shit all the time.


p.s. this video is fucking hilarious!!!!





current conditions:
temp: 52F
visibility: overcast
prec: wanting to rain

What does your Squidblade look like?

recap of last seven days. what a roller coaster! i have been so exhausted i slept 11 hours last night!

shedd was free general admission all last week, and i left work early on thursday to go there in the afternoon. new boy and i met up at life on mars (of course!) to get food before driving down there. it was a lot of fun. we got there at about 330pm so there were no school groups but there still was a decent of people and families with little kids. it wasn't too crazy, though. the aquarium is at such a nice location. i like looking at the lake and seeing that skyline!

as for the exhibits, we saw the circular carribbean reef in the middle with all kinds of rays, nurse sharks, a huge turtle named nickel that had buoyancy problems, and all sorts of colorful fish. there was also a scuba diver in there cleaning all the rocks.

there was also a huge exhibit for various amazon habitats. there were paranas (i'm unsure where in "h" goes), turtles, rays, lizards, monkeys, a fucking 26 foot long anaconda!, tree frogs, other various huge fish. it was pretty awesome. saw the little cage where the spider was housed and avoided it.

there was also an exhibit for freshwater lakes and rivers of north america. saw the usual...carp, bass, bluegill, turtles, etc. they also had asian carp, and zebra mussels! those last two were featured in a section about invasive species affecting the local ecosystem.

then there was the ocean exhibit. i really liked looking at the tanks with the starfish, cucumbers, urchins, and anenomes. i like the colors! they also had a bunch of giant crabs. there were two tanks that the glass was magnified, and these housed the seahorses and then sea dragons. i love seahorses, and it was cool to see so many of them in the tank together. their little tails were wrapped around the seaweed. and the sea dragons were awesome. they were kind of floating around, and their swimming appendages looked like plant leaves.

new boy drove me back home before he left for work. i already know he doesn't want to hang out with me again. i was a little upset but i really don't care.

on friday, i headed back to stl. i went out to get food and margaritas with my parents and we had a good discussion about plans i have next fall. while i love chicago socially (and by socially i pretty much mean shows and food), i do not have it in me to stick it out another winter. i feel just like i did when i was ready to leave stl. in a dark place. totally drained. hating life. my number one choice for relocation is florida. i have been waiting to make a decision until i find out what the summer school session is and if i can get into a class i need. the summer schedule was posted yesterday, and i will not be able to get into the class i need. so do i stick it out for summer up here? working and running around? summer here is awesome! or do i leave and go on that adventure i've been promising myself for the past five years?

after dinner and nice conversation with my parents they drove me to the show. it was in the basement of the cranky yellow publishing store on cherokee. it was a cool place. lots of funky clothes and merchandise and a section of books and a zine collective. the basement was pretty awesome, too. very deep and there was kind of a lot of people there.

the bands that played were doomtown (not too bad, it was their first show), squidblade (i thought they were pretty good when i saw them at lemmon's on xmas but they were great tonight!), wifflers (not a solid set. too wasted to play the songs. although shaun was all up on the mic singing silly stuff, such as "what does your squidblade look like?" a la "i live in hell"). then the copyrights played. holy shit! this was the reason i was here! birthday celebration and the copyrights in a freaking basement in stl and people actually showed up and it was absolute chaos.

they played so hard! and we sang so loud! and beer and cans were flying everywhere. i was hoarse and soaked in beer when they were done. the best i have ever seen them play was at market street pub at fest 7, and either this basement set or the set over the summer at sub-t might was the second. they played all songs off of learn the hard way and make sound, some of the newer split 7s stuff, and like two off mutiny pop.

humanoids played last. i was almost blacked out when they played, and only caught the last maybe four songs b/c i was up outside on the street saying goodnight to krissy and talking with some other people.

after the show, nate and chris gave me a ride back to my parents' house, but not before we went to manga. i do not really remember being there. i left and went next door to the city diner and got a veg sandwich. nate came over and sat by me at the counter and ordered some food, too. we went back to manga and i vaguely remember ripping another poster off the wall before we all left.

puked everywhere when i got home. slept in my bro's room cuz he's M.I.A. and my parents are remodeling the house and all kind of bullshit is stored in my room.

saturday was great. it was like 58F in stl on saturday and i went out on the bike to the levee. it was awesome. i haven't really exercised much since october so i didn't go too far, and i encountered two other bikes and five people walking. i also encountered one pitbull. it came tearing around a farmhouse i was passing on the other side of the road, barking and chasing after me. i started screaming and pedaling faster and kicking at it while it was biting at my feet on the pedals. i was terrified. the farm house had three horses chilling in a pen and two other dogs tied up in big cages, but this one was loose and pissed. when i got to the T-intersection at the end of the lane, the dog stopped chasing me and my heart didn't stop racing until i got back into town. jeez!

saturday night i left to come back to chicago with my car all maintained and new tires that my mom and dad bought for my birthday. i got 100 miles south of chicago and the car overheated. i stopped on the side of 55 and cut the engine immediately. i was in the middle of nowhere, could not even see lights of any town that might be nearby. i had my hazards on, but cars and semis where zipping by, not slowing down or moving over. it was very intimidating! after about ten minutes of trying to get the hood open (it was so dark i couldn't even see the latch), i started the car and drove very slowly with the hazards on to next exit and pulled into a gas station. i called some people, and johnny and rich left the show they were at and came and picked me up. i am very grateful for that. we got back into the city at like 330am. what a day!

i called off work on sunday and had the car towed. not having it was a huge hassle. i took metra to work on monday and tuesday, which is fine. its a 1.5 miles away from my house, which i need 30 min to walk there when there is snow like this on the ground. but after work i had to get to school, and that was not easy via cta. it was a bus-train-bus and took 2:15 and cost like $8. luckily, a classmate was able to drive me home. same thing on tuesday. bus-train-bus, and roy drove me home. forever grateful.

i was ready to throw in the towel when i woke up this morning. i started bleeding last night. i'm very worried about it b/c that should not be the case right now. i know i've been feeling lousy mentally, and i feel even worse physically. i attributed the general malaise to the depression and stress, and i hope that is all it is. i was fine at the follow up appt back in october and now this?

then i got a call from my dad. my car is fixed! i am taking an amtrak train this evening to go get it and drive it back home. i was so worried that i was going to be an engine rebuild like last time when it overheated b/c it was the same type of situation all over again, but it was just a head gasket on the radiator and a new thermostat. the car situation being resolved is a huge burden off my shoulders and i am so grateful that its not a rebuild b/c i don't have money for that but i also don't have money to make a car payment.

also, i have a crush on some one. his name is Andrew (why wouldn't it be?) and he's young (22. barely.) he's approached me twice, so i might have that backwards.

p.s.s. the mac and cheese at life on mars = #1 most fav comfort food. potato leek soup = close second.

p.sx3. i feel better already. i will not be enclosing a video with this post.

current conditions:
temp: 28F
wind: 14 NW
vis: 10 mi.
sunset: 535pm

Read more: http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.ListAll#ixzz0u3jOrzTt

Maybe tomorrow I won't be miserable and looking for an exit

.....what the hell happened?

whisky happened.

yesterday was my 29th birthday. the truth is that it was a pretty shitty day. just general feelings of sadness that i can't seem to shake. i haven't been sleeping well for the past month, and i just feel exhausted all the time. woke up early for work, sat at work alonelylonelylone at the desk. we did see a few patients so that was good. the doctor whose office is across the hall from us is closing because there are not enough patients coming in. he employed four people. the front desk girl came over and brought us some fat tuesday pastries and said goodbye. left work early and ran home to relax before school. there is a new restaurant down the street called life on mars that i have been wanting to check out. i had previously gone there twice and it was closed. i left work early yesterday b/c i wanted to go there for dinner, but they were out of some of the stuff i wanted. and i didn't like the girl out the counter. so i left and went home and made pizza. then i had school until 945.

came home and was feeling exceptionally down, ready to just go to sleep and try again tomorrow. but carl got in touch when he was finished delivering at lou's and told me he was at the mutiny. i decided to salvage anything that might be salvagable and i pedaled on over. ed was at the door and said hello, asked about school, and bought me a beer. it was also the bar back/doorman's birthday, and another of carl's friend's birthdays. people were buying us all shots and drinks and before i knew, whisky happened again. i totally blacked out.

i have no idea what happened or how i got home. i ripped some poster off the wall at the bar and rolled it up into my back pocket. sometime during the night i got up out of my bed, walked over to the stand where my turntable is, lifted the lid, and peed on it. i don't remember doing that either, but there's definitely piss on it. luckily its all mechanical so it probably still works, and i was so wasted that my piss was pretty much straight water and alcohol so it didn't smell. i'm still letting it air out in the bathtub for a bit.

i was sooo hungover this morning. my stomach was absolutely empty and i didn't have any food prepared at home. i thought i was going to pass out i was so hungry and nauseaus. i decided that i would give life on mars one more try since its close by and i needed something nutritious to soak all this up. i got there at about 2pm and there was two people in front of me and two people behind me. i thought this was a good sign b/c i know they have a niche market and i'd like to see them succeed. i got a bbq rib style seitan sandwich, a matzo ball soup, and a side of mac and cheese. the soup was excellent and came with a huge kaiser roll. the mac and cheese was also good. a little heat behind it, too. the sandwich was huge and it was okay. the seitan was very compressed and a little dry, like maybe the sauce didn't have a chance to infiltrate all the way in. but the sauce was tasty, and a little heat too. the bread was made in house and really fluffy. i couldn't eat all of it and am saving the rest for dinner.

other than the lingering physical sickness from the alcohol, i feel alright today. maybe it was all the cutting loose last night. plus, there is some stuff i'm looking forward to:

i am going back to stl on fri. my parents were up here last week visiting and they took my car back to stl to have it maintained. i am going to go see copyrights in a basement on fri night then i will drive my car back to chi on saturday. i am looking forward to that.

also, shedd aquarium is free admission all week. i took the afternoon off work tomorrow and am going to go there before school. carl warned me about a gigantic spider in one the display cases, so i will be avoiding that. gross.

unrelated note: i have been to revolution brewery twice now. i went last monday with a new boy who was a total goofball. he was pretty awesome and silly but i am a fortress. i am so guarded and still kind of holding out for some one who i know deep down isn't coming back. but the place was packed like a weekend. i got an awesome grilled tofu sandwich with a sun-dried tomato spread and the cross of gold. my my there were some points in that draft.

i went back on friday night with my dad. it was balls to the wall. we rolled in at like 11pm after i impressed him with my parallel parking skills right out front. we were able to get a table b/c there were only two of us and also because we were going to order some food. again it was a positive experience.

since there is no video of dear landlord performing 'landlocked', i am enclosing the dopamine's performing 'worstest case scenerio' in a basement. i love this band. they are coming here in march. psyched on it! although i will probably start crying like a little cry baby if they play 'navigation point', which why wouldn't they play that song?




current conditions:
air temp: 33F
wind: W 12
sunset: 526pm (suck on that, S.A.D.)

For the Record

Current mood:bar time is 6:30

i received a check in the mail, sent to my parents' address, from the city of carbondale, for a sum of $93. i have no idea what this is for/from. its literally just a check, made out in my name, from the city of carbondale, for the sum of $93. i was cited for riding my bicycle on the street on 10-31-01, but the fine was only $76, so there would be no reason to refund me $93.

cloud mouth is currently my favorite chicago band. dudes shred. i went to see them on tuesday. of all the spots in the room i could have walked to and all the people i could have stood next to, i ended up by giuseppe. i was surprised by this and not ready for it at all. but my mom helped me put things in to perspective when i talked to her later in the night, and i am grateful for that and also for the fact that he was not in attendance with some one else and also for the fact that he was nice to me. i felt painfully out of sorts. i know that i'm not ready. but i don't know if i am being too stubborn for my own good.

my cousin and his wife are having their wedding reception in maryland at the end of march. i'm on the fence if i want to go to it. i really loathe those stuffy, formal, family obligations, although this particular cousin i am particularly fond of. he's always been really laid back and generally a much better person to me than his sister, who is the only other family i've had the experience of going to a stuffy, formal, family wedding for. besides, my tattoos won't go over well at all.

school starts on tuesday. i have only three classes left to take and then i'm done with the required pre-reqs. i am going to take the DAT in june and have my application ready to submit electronically by june 1st. then i am going to keep my fingers crossed that i get invited for an interview. included in the cost of the DAT, i get my scores forwarded to up to five schools. i have chosen UIC, kentucky, LSU, nebraska, and new jersery. if i get in on my first try, i would matriculate in august 2011.

my new favorite activity is ice skating. i went twice this week. its free to go skate at various chicago parks if you have your own skates. i skated for 45 minutes today. its quite tiring, but a nice physical activity. its also nice to get some fresh air and also some time to process my thoughts as i'm skating around and around in circles. i also laugh at the little kids who are there. some are terrible, clinging to their parents, and some are fearless and whizzing around and darting around the other skaters. its very fun to watch.

our blue recycle bin out in the alley has a cracked lid. it will with water when it rains/snows, and last night it was overflowing with melt water from the gutter on the garage. i tried to pour it out but it was too heavy i couldn't even get it to budge. i threw my recycling into the neighbor's bin instead. i talked to my mom again and she recommended that i take a hammer and nail and put a few little puncture holes near the bottom and the water will slowly drain out. that's a great idea, and way easier than if i got a bucket and slowly emptied the water until i could tip the bin over.


i am rambling. i am avoiding something. i am confused and nervous and a little intoxicated. here's rancid covering op ivy b/c believe it or not, the quality of the audio is way better than any other live recording i found on youtube, minus the album version with just the cover art. but looking at cover art is boring compared to watching a live performace, and i don't like green day's version. and that's fine!

Greetings from the Gulf!

Current mood:conflicted

yo! so i just got back to chicago from being in tampa since last wed. i drove down there with johnny and we stayed with my sister at her condo. it was cold there, but still waaay warmer than chicago and of course there was no snow. we had a good time! ironically enough, johnny's roommate joe was down there the same time as us visiting a girl he used to see, and we all met up for food one night. my sister laughed because we were always eating or planning all our activities around food! haha!

we got into town on thursday afternoon after a 21 hour drive. we stopped in gainseville at 9am to get food on the way. we went to a beach on thursday afternoon and waded out to our ankels, skipped some rocks. it was pretty chilly but i was glad the the sun was out! i haven't seen the sun in a while!






then thursday night we went to eat at a place called grass root, which was similiar to the soul veg chain of restaurants but it was not affiliated with them. it was delicious! i got the sunshine burger b/c i really wanted some bread/carbs. johnny got the parmesan. it was quite satisfying!




friday we went to st pete which is across the bay and went to the museum of fine arts. we all had student IDs and got in for a good price and saw lots of painting and photos, which is my favorite type of art to see at a museum. i don't much care for sculpture or antiques and such, which there was some of that type of stuff of display.







then we went to a raw veg place called leafy greens. it was also delicious! sally got zuccini spaghetti. i had never even seen/heard about preparing a zuccini or squash like that and am definitely interested in trying it at home. just as we finished eating, johnny got a call from some friends that he knew from school who were living down in tampa, and they invited us out for dinner about two hours later!! so of course we met up. we went to a place called trang vietnamese. they served meat there, but about six pages of the menu was all vegan selections...from appetizers, soups, rolls, entrees, desserts. it was also delicious! i got a soup and curry chick-un to split with sally. it was fun to go to that with a group; there were seven of us.

friday night after dinner my sister, johnny, and me went bowling. the special that night was three games and a drink ticket for $14, so we did that. it was a lot of fun. and johnny was teasing salsauce b/c the guy who was working at the counter signing everyone up and handing out the shoes looked like joakim noah and he kept smiling at her, "hope that wait wasn't too long for ya!" AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

the first game, johnny only scored 78 points, and i had 126 and my sis 123. she told johnny that he couldn't bowl with us if he couldn't score over 100, so he whipped our asses on the next two games and scored like 178 on one game! it was a lot of fun. we had a few pitchers of beer and there was music playing and strobe/black lights. johnny's jam came over the speakers and he bowled a strike. the celebration included lots of pelvic thrusts and lots of the surrounding lanes were laughing at us; it was so funny!













saturday we went to the flea market. it was amazing!! seriously...anything you can think of, was for sale there. i almost bought a knife, like one that would fit in my pocket. but we were there for the produce.



i was excited that florida has fresh fruits and vegetables for sale pretty much right off the farm, and we got bell peppers, beets, strawberries, oranges, and the biggest avacado i have ever seen.



after the flea market we went to an area of tampa calle ybur city. its more of an urban area, large gay population and lots of clubs and independently owned restaurants, bars, and retail shops. heard some cop tell a mom that after dark this was going to be no place for kids. there is also a theater there called the improv. we looked in to going to see a show there, but tix were $20 and we didn't want to pay that much. no big deal, though.








we walked around ybor, met up with some more people for lunch at a greek place and then met up again for dinner with joe and his girl for dinner at grass root again. both my friend johnny and his roommate joe has "VEGAN" tattooed across their right wrist. my sister saw them together and commented that our cousin mike had the same thing. the both immediately sparked up and asked us, "mike luce?" 'yeah. he's our cousin. his mom and our mom our sisters.' they knew mike from a bunch of animal rights stuff they were involved with ten+ years ago, and that is why they all got the same tattoo. small world.

after dinner we tried to find a karaoke bar, but to no avail. went home and chilled at the house and by chill i mean johnny and salsauce drank half a fifth of bacardi and i downed four tall cans of busch. hung out again on sunday, made dinner and left about 630pm tampa time. got home about 1pm chicago time. we had to stop for a nap at a rest stop in indiana b/c both of us were too tired to stay awake to drive.

all in all, a good trip. i really needed a break from chicago. the day we left, a storm was headed in, and there was 8in of snow accumulation. no big whoop, but i was glad to avoid it. also, i've been pretty majorly depressed and i like to run away from problems. but i know geography isn't going to change who i am or make everything suddenly okay when its not. even as i type that, in other open tabs on my mozilla browser, include school information for florida and the ada. my mom told me i should call guiseppe and ask him to meet for a sandwich, so i texted him instead. he said he was working, so that is that. he's going out of town this week, and perhaps we'll meet up when he gets back. not holding my breath. school starts next week. i could potentially be out of here within 17 weeks.

current conditions:
air temp: 27 F
visibility: clear
sunset: 4:40pm