Sorry it didn't work out

I went to a house party at the new gator loft last night. Shit was hot as ballzZz in there. Bands were totally solid. (most likely the last) Death Warrent (show), Shithawk, some band from buffalo, and wild america. Not a lot of people at all.

Had rained eariler in the evening but was stopped and looking clear on the radar, so Johnny and I pedaled over there. Straight hood. Double locked our bikes up outside. I had a nice time. Drank seven beers there and didn't even feel buzzed b/c of the heat. Just sweating it out. again, something so primal about that. everyone was slick with it.

After the show, lots of rain coming down. saw Giuseppe, he had left but came back to the party to change a tube. I had his socks in my bag and gave them to him and told him I was moving and gave him a huge hug and i didn't want to let go. I started to get upset and left. Johnny was out on the street waiting for me to unlock the bikes.

pouring rain. but i was smiling. we got to an overpass on i think north ave. maybe armitage. couldn't see too well. the street was flooded. i plowed right into the water. my bike came to a near halt, the water easily a foot and a half deep. i started to laugh. i looked back and saw johhny, backlit from the headlights of a car that was not going to pass, bike slung over his shoulder, wading knee deep in foul backwater.

got to my street and got off our bikes. i started to cry. we embraced for a good 30 seconds. he texted me later saying that we should hang out everyday until i leave.

i debate all the time whether my decision to return to stl is the correct one to make. this summer has been great. easily top three. i saw nick sherman at party last night and i even mentioned that to him. summer 2010, summer 2006, and summer 2001, which i spent in c'dale.


but once school starts back up and work slows down and the sun starts to disappear at 4pm, i know i'll get depressed again. when i moved up here, i was afraid of missing friends in stl. but i made friends up here. i was afraid of missing my cute house. but i found a place to live up here that i loved just as much.

i can always come back, and i would like to. i know i will. the same friends will be here. when i get back to stl, i will find the same friends waiting for me, and i will find a new house to love just as much.

i was kind of hungover today. mostly b/c of the dehydration from the sweatbox that was the gator loft last night. haven't eaten much. woke up with severe leg/calf cramps.

clouds cleared this afternoon and i went to north ave beach to meet up with a very cute (seriously cute. dude is like 21 and totally just....cute!) boy that i met at the delilah's on monday. we were there for three hours. sun in and out of the clouds, but conversation was good. we got a spot north of north ave and there wasn't a lot of people around. no swimming allowed today. bogus. good hangout. good saturday afternoon. we'll see what saturday night holds.