vernal equinox

went to the doctor today to get my shit checked after i started hemorrhaging on friday night, in the middle of the night, while i was asleep, which of course was a freakin' mess, and then i had to bail on the show satirday and not hang out with friends in town from stl.

turns out everything is going to be alright, though.

since doc said i was good to go, i went to the pool and swam for the first time in over six months. it was great! there was not a lot of people there, which is what i prefer. i swam 2400 yds in just under 45 minutes. i was surprised i went this far, but then again, i have a hard time knowing when to stop. practice was always two hours in the pool and then either weights or dry land after that, so i'm not used to just working out for like, just thirty minutes or something.

i'm not as tired i expected to be, especially in the arms, but my hip flexors are a little tight right now. but that could also be a result of an invitation i accepted earlier in the week.

i stopped to get a few cooking necessities at the store on the way home, and the jewel item of the week was doritos, so i purchased two for one of the spicy sweet chili in the purple bag. this was the first time i have eaten this flavor, and the first time consuming doritos in nearly three years. it was definitely an interesting taste...spicy hot but also a hint of sweet. i ate these in the car on the way home in rush hour traffic. my mouth/tongue/lips became quite hot b/c i am pansy with the spice, and luckily i had a bottle of water in my bag, but then i just had to pee even more b/c i didn't pee before i left the pool! haha!

on my way home, i found myself heading due west on touhy, and the sun was dipping directly to the west, and i realized that tomorrow is the vernal equinox. i have survived another winter in this town.

tonight when i arrived at home, the gelato i had made from scratch was ready to eat, and i was quite satisfied with the results. it wasn't overly sweet, but it was very chocolately, which is more than fine. i also put a shit-ton of mint leaves in it, which was a nice cool taste. i will definitely attempt additional flavors. i am trying to acquire a powdered peanut butter to use for baking. its called PB2 and is not sold in the chicago area. so i have to order it from the internet, and it is not sold individually, just a case.

yesterday was wednesday and i was called in to second full time job, and i when i showed up, we were being evaulated by the regional managers, and i was part of the A game. turns out i performed the highest of everyone working that day! yay! "would you like fries with that?"

tuesday was st. pat's day apparently. i had no idea until i was returning home from work, and when i neared the california platform, assholes in green shirts and hats were all over the street. luckily i am a weirdo who wears the same dang shirt everyday b/c its my favorite. this favorite shirt i am so loyal to also happens to be green, so i guess i was covered. i made pizza for dinner, as well as baked some cookies. the house smelled like fresh baked cookies for when my roommate had some people over from work for a meeting of sorts. i have a little crush on one of the co-workers, a boy named andrew. he liked the cookies i baked. four of us went to a bar up the street for a pint. the weather was gorgeous! i nearly thought it was july! we sat outside on the patio and i enjoyed the music that was playing over the PA...rancid, offspring, bad religion...i was very surprised!

andrew is very quiet/reserved, and i am as well for the most part. so we didn't talk to each other, and him and his roommate abruptly left after one round. i doubt anything will ever become of any of this. and when all is said and done, i don't really care, either.

i have no idea what transpired on monday.

on sunday i met up with an out of town friend and we drove to freakin' mokena to see carcass. it was actually a pretty sweet time. carcass played for a good hour and they had a pretty sweet stage setup with the lights and video. there was a lot of people came out of the woodwork for that shit. i enjoyed hearing the lead singer talk in between the songs. not just b/c his sweet british accent, but b/c he actually had interesting banter. i was so full of lentil soup from sultan's from before the show, that i only got a shake at pick me up after the show.

also, there is a new show on hbo called "east bound & down". its so awesome. i have enclosed a clip from it. I highly recommend checking it out on HBO on sundays, and failing that, there are episodes on youtube.



S: "What's up daaawg?"
K: "Dammit Stevie. This isn't a good time."
S: "I thought it was always a good time to get fuckin' rich."
K: "What are you talkin' about?"
S: "Got a little call from Ashley Schaeffer today and he was talkin' big money, Kenny. I'm talkin' $500. Half of that in cash, and half in coupons to local businesses, baby!"


also, i am enclosing the following copyrights video. i am in the mood for a sweet house party/basement show; not really putting a lot of effort to organize a carfull to ohio in may for a weekend of basement shows. i have been walking in the forest preserve on lunch breaks. i have spotted deer, ducks and various water fowl, and even woodpecker! i am pissed at myself for reasons out of my control. that is, massive medical bills debt, which is preventing me taking the bike tour trip (again) this summer. i am working my butt off so i can do it in summer 2010. "let's get the fuck outta here!"



current conditions in chicago:
mostly clear
28F
visibility 10 miles
sinuses confused

sometimes i can't decide if i hate ska or if i fucking hate ska

i've had this massive headache for like five days.

there is another lesion that is suspect. sometimes i wish that i knew it was terminal, or that the doctor gave me a window of time. then i would take out a massive loan and do things/take trips that i want to do before i die but always seem to put off for bullshit reasons like work or school or whatever. you know, stuff that "matters", but really at the end of the day when all is said and done, it shouldn't/doesn't. instead i work two full time jobs to pay for all this crap.

i've been doing so well. tonight i drank three tall cans, and i was great at the the party i attended. everyone was nice and welcoming and the conversation was pleasent, but now i am at home in my dark room by myself. today was the first day i really noticed that the days are getting longer. the temp only reached like 25F, but the sun didn't set until nearly 6pm. before we all know it, it'll be summertime around here.

i am currently channeling the late 90s. riding in pos tanks of cars, bench seats the size of couches, speeding along crowned country roads down on the flood plain, the sweet ropey scent of the marijuana overpowering the cabbage harvest while the city lights burned orange haze to the west, listening to the radio.

queen anne's lace was always my favorite wild flower. they used to grow tall and bushy along the bottoms under the bluff. right now i miss some one. i'm not sure who exactly. i could even be missing some one who is now a figment of my imagination. but this person is innocent like me in my mind right now. we are running through a field of flowers as tall as our foreheads. the stars burn white diamonds in the black sky and jasmine fills the night air. we are the only two people in the universe tonight as we sprint through tall weeds until our lungs burn and as one we collaspe laughing onto the prairie dusty from the summer drought.

the first show i ever attended was in 1998 at the galaxy with courtney key. we went after swim team practice on a friday. the bands were link 80, voodoo glow skulls, and buck 0 nine. apparently, little carl has come across footage of this show, and also apparently, nate x and chris, shaun and alyssa, and ron and wipfler, were all at that show, way before any of us knew each other. i left before all the bands had played b/c another friend was hosting a birthday party that night. when i arrived, a lot of the guests had filtered out, and she kissed me in the basement. full on on the mouth. that was the first time for anything for me, and another seven or eight months would laspe until my lips touched a boy's.

this video is kinda weak, but the song is taking me back to a time i want to remember right now:



i also always really liked this one: goddamn. i could hang out with truesdale everyday for the rest of my life.



and can't forget: i always liked this band when i was in hs. andy roberts was in the same lunch as me, and he always wore this t shirt. he was always such a dick to me on the bus, and one day, he was just gone. of course there was the usual rumors about him being comitted and shit. i never found out what really happened.



i also went to see this band when i was in hs, and this was the first time i remember being in a situtaion of utter chaos, and it felt right.




i just love this song, and i love this band. my earliest memory of weasel is sitting in study hall with chad pogarelik and he borrowed a ccs catalog i had and cirlced all the records he wanted to order. this song, in all its recordings, is probabably my most favorite.



and of course i have to include an oldies version. i have selected a johnny nash televised performance.









I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day.

I think I can make it now, the pain is gone
All of the bad feelings have disappeared
Here is the rainbow I’ve been prayin for
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day.

Look all around, there’s nothin but blue skies
Look straight ahead, nothin but blue skies

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day.