Multiple Choice

So I received the following text from Bookit during our textversation during lunch:

Context is discussing the flu going around and trying to avoid it:

B: "...EAT A GIANT DICK, ILLNESS!"
S: "Unrelated: I'm coming up Feb 13 or 14 through 18. We should get food at least once."
B: "No sweat."
B: "Also: I mention a giant dick, you mention food. PERV!"

I did not respond to this, and it is prob too late now, but I think he wants to be Valentines.

"Stay Retarded" recap

I was adamant about NOT attending the Dude's Mag party this weekend, because, well, I was expecting a total shit storm. Also, I have been sober since November 10, 2012 and being around shithammered people at 3am is super annoying when one is stone cold sober.

Besides, I had agreed to be part of Karen's trivia team at an event on Saturday night. It was at a parish in Afton, there was 38 teams present, and we came in first place! $240 purse!! Plus, all the popcorn (6 bowls), pretzels (1 bowl) and Sprite (3 8oz cups) I could drink.

Prior to trivia, I went to the Ballroom to meet up with Chi-Town and Ohio pals who were in town for the party. A super cute bearded guy who I have never seen and have no idea who he is, asked me, out of the blue while playing pinball, if I was going to Night Birds. I said, "Of course!" I don't think he lives here, he had that Chicago hipster vibe that I love so much.

Post trivia, I swung by Lemmon's, Ben paid $12 for me to get in because I didn't want to stay, just give Nato a token for a complimentary ice cream cone at Culver's, and GTFO! But I wasn't allowed in without a wristband, so I was just going to leave. But I ended up staying and actually had a good time. Spoke a lot with Christina, who laughed because literally like, 50 guys came up and either high-fived or hugged me and said hello! I gave Sam an extra long hug since his GF wasn't on this tour and he was in party mode (re: sociable) and really took in his dirty dirty scent. This made him laugh.

I don't really recall who all's sets I watched other than NC&TBDB and Masked Intruder, for whom I was down near the front. Several people crowd-surfing, everyone arms up singing along and dancing. Great set, great energy. Monster Mask was in attendance!!!

Came home about 2am and stayed up until 430 reading the new issue.

I have to give D and NH proper props; I was expecting a real shit storm, but was pleasantly surprised and had a great time.

Smile pit! Courtesy of PH:

poetry for _____

Carl:
haiku: work is fucking hard. after five and i'm still here. fuck my life real hard.

Suzy Q:
haiku: Hot Wife! Oh, Hot Wife! Little-prick cuck likes to watch. Where all the bulls at?

Carl:
Baaaahahahahha at your haiku!


Closing statement: According to the page tracker on my dashboard, TWO unique hits came from people who typed in "wet asshole" on Google search. I'm curious to see what kind of response this post gets.

Pleasures: innocent and guilty

Last night I went to a trivia event. The team I was on came in 4th place by one point, which was incredibly frustrating, but there was complimentary popcorn, and I won an item in the silent auction: Two novelty beer cozies, a t-shirt, and two bottles of wine. It was also a nice evening out of the house.

I have been craving waffles since Matthew and I went to Melt on Friday, and I went on a quest to purchase a waffle iron tonight. Ended up at the wal-mart in the next town down to the south. It's a nice quiet drive, and I like when there is not a lot of traffic. Lots of stars in the sky tonight.

I ran into the daughter of my German hosts there! Quite a surprise! She is enjoying her visit here and is getting along great with the other kids at school/in town.

I decided on a Black Decker model, some Aunt Jemimia mix, aand some genereic brand pure maple syrup. I prepped the iron then decided to make chocolate and peanut butter waffles. They were SO DELICIOUS! I didn't need to use syrup. I am excited to make more.

Something has given me gas. Probably the peanut butter. Its not painful, but there is a green mist hovering in the room right now! Hahaha! Gross.

I went to see ZDT with Karen and Colleen today. It was 'aight. We didn't pay to get in, so whatever. I have things I didn't like, things I did, but I'm not going to get into that now. Final verdict: deserves that best pic oscar nom.

Guilty pleasure: "Dallas" remake on TNT. New season starts next Monday with a two hour opener. I'm watching the first season On Demand right now.

Went to Everest Cafe for lunch buffet with Jonathan. We had excellent conversation about the house I'm looking into purchasing.

Productivity & Progress

Accomplished a lot this afternoon.

I yelled at a women driver in the parking garage. She was not paying attention to other traffic and pedestrians in the garage because she was checking her phone behind the wheel. When she failed to yield pedestrians, which included me, I yelled at her driver's side window, "GET OFF YOUR FUCKING PHONE!! Then I panicked for about half a second...what if she was going to the same doc office as me? Well, then I'd just tell that she knows that I was right.

Two doc appts, both a complete success. Allegedly, my pussy is immaculate. Although I lied to my doc when she asked me if I was using condoms, because Matthew and I have not been using condoms.

Stopped by Matthew's house on the way home for an afternoon bang out sesh. Fucking in the afternoon, especially during the week when everyone else is a work, is sweet. We did use a condom. I was surprised that he actually had a box of them at his house. I was not surprised they were size Magnum. I love the way he watches me when I'm on top, puts his hands on my ass, and presses my hips down onto him even more.

I had a fasting panel in the morning, so I was starving. He had not eaten either, so we went to Melt and got beer and waffles and coffee. It was a delightful time.

Came home and a thorough google-search on a recent contact yielded suspicion-confirming results. I love being right.

Watched Jeopardy!.

Ongoing conversation with C-Bomb....I really need to get a move on already.

Currently combing C-L.

Couch Potatos Win!

For reasons unknown, I drove to my parents' house last night and ended up sleeping here. I woke up at 6am to my mother banging on the bedroom door.

"Suzy! Get dressed! We need your help downstairs!"

I felt like I had been hit by a truck, and, honestly, my first thought was that my brother was probably dead in the basement. But her voice wouldn't have had that urgency if that was the case (yeah, that is really shitty, but it's the truth. We're all just waiting around for the inevitable, and it's not going to be a surprise when it happens).

I hesitated, and within fifteen seconds she was banging on the door again. So I got the lead out.

My dad was in the kitchen, bleeding quite profusely. He had been out jogging in the neighborhood and was attacked by a rogue dog. His right arm was mangled and had some large chucks of flesh bitten out of it. Also had some lacerations on his back.

They drove to the ER and came home about six hours later with the wounds sutured and dressing placed.

Animal control was on the case, and they found the dog and contacted its owners.

I'm not sure if the dog will be put down. It was some kind of sheep dog breed and about 18 months old. It had dug a hole under the backyard fence and gotten loose.

My two main thoughts are:

1. This dog, unprovoked, attacked a human and tore flesh. My dad said this attack lasted for what he perceives to be 30seconds to a minute, which is a LONG FUCKING TIME to have a dog latched onto your arm and tearing your flesh. No one was around, my dad is in the street with the animal on top of him, and he alone has to fight it off of himself. Now that the dog has tasted human blood, does it need to be put down? I am unaware if sheep dogs are considered aggressive breeds.

2. Yes, 18 months is still considered a puppy, but 18 months is not too young to have basic dog training so a dog is safe to NOT BITE HUMANS UNPROVOKED! These people are just shitty dog owners. Also, yeah, its 6am, but why the hell aren't you in the know of where your dog is located? I'm sure it didn't dig a hole large enough to get its 80lb. body under the fence in the ten seconds it took you to turn around and start the coffee machine. Again, shitty dog owners.

The owners, are at least, currently cooperating and will pay the medical expenses.

MMMMMMMASSACRE!

Went to see Manges and Queers last night. Great show. Manges were excellent. Queers played the usual set, and it was SO LOUD. I was not near the front, and it was a dang miracle that my ears weren't bleeding afterward. Those speakers sounded blown out as fuck.

Crowd was exactly what I was expecting. A mix of people ranging from teenage to mid-40s. Pit was brutal; I stayed at the back edge and sang along. Was kinda hoarse near the end. Not a lot of beer hurled, which kinda surprised me. The only can I saw thrown was my own (actually a plastic Silo cup for water), and occurred when they started playing 'Monster Zero' and some dumb, drunk, disgusting girl rushed the stage, pushed Joe out of the way (I seriously thought for a second that he was going to get pissed, stop playing, and leave, but that didn't happen) and grab the mic. At first she inadvertently unplugged it, then figured out why she wasn't getting any sound, plugged it back in, then screamed "FUUUUUCK YOU!" over and over and over in an awful shrill girl voice for nearly two minutes until the song was over. The crowd was getting pissed and yelling for her to get off the stage, and that is when I threw my cup up there, but it only made it to the second row.

Kinda frustrating, because that is one of my more favorite songs to hear performed and its (usually) a great sing-a-long.

But whatevs, still an excellent evening out with the usual suspects. Plus, The Queers know what songs the crowd likes and it was definitely go, go, go, go, go with no stopping. They did dedicate a few songs to a few people. They gave a shout out to Bass Amp for "You're Tripping", some one else, I don't remember who, got a shout out for "White Minority", and Evening Bird had the final shout out of the night with "Can't Stop Farting."

I remained sober for the whole show, and when I did go to the bar to get a glass of water, I also ordered a beer for 'Hawk. Bob wanted to know I didn't have my headlights on. I told him to not make me reach across the bar and slap him in the face! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

During the break between Manges and Queers, I received a very explicit text from Matthew and was undecided if I was going to go home after the show or go hang out with him. But then, Queers (fittingly) closed with "Fuck This World" and a little light bulb blinked on, and I drove to Matthew's house after the show. I stopped at a Shell station on Gasconade with like 30seconds left until beer 0'clock and grabbed the first thing I saw out of the cooler (sixer of Busch 12oz cans. Not complaining) because Matthew didn't have any more beer at home, and I thought that I might end up drinking one or two as well. I didn't. Which is fine.

The house was incredibly cold. At first we kinda just caught up, haven't really spoken much since last summer. He offered me some pretzels. After about an hour of conversation, we sat close to each other under a blanket on the couch and held hands and watched an episode of 'It's Always Sunny'. Finally went to bed a little after 2am. And by bed I mean we didn't fall asleep right away, but stayed up making out for easily at least one more hour. Oh, my, trust me when I say I have not forgotten how much I enjoy kissing Matthew. I was kinda still ragging, and I told him this before I agreed to come over, so at first it was all kissing and petting, which is so satisfying in its own way. But both of us were so hot that we ended up banging out as well; there was blood and semen EVERYWHERE!

All said and done, an excellent evening.

hold the fries

All y'all double cheeseburgers at the gym piss me off.

Good for you, going out and buying that XXL workout gear, and making an effort to improve your health and well-being, but I look forward to a good percentage of you dropping off the wagon because I'm impatient and very serious about my workouts.

Pouring out that half empty glass and refilling it to the brim

What an invigorating 72 hours! A 2012 came to a close, I was at the Empty Bottle watching the Marked Men and ringing in the new year with long-time friends. I have been jamming out all day to OWTH and TBR.

I feel rejuvenated, wheels are turning, ideas are forming, plans are coming together.

Highlights of 2012:

MPLS x 2
PDX + meet ups with JJ and Milo
*EFFING INSANE* party week with N&TBDB
Witnessing a wiped-slick Lars wreck his bike into a parked rig
Germany and Finland!
Getting busted finger-banging in a national park after hours
San Diego for AF666
My own "unfest" FEST Florida trip
+ a few random road trips with the usual suspects for shows
+ raced twice on Ex-Girlfriend and didn't puke, wreck, pass-out, or come in last

The last days of 2012 were spent in cold but beautiful Chicago with people who are important to me. Excellent hangouts with Bookmate, Rootbeer, Carl, Danny, and David.

I feel energized and am looking forward to 2013. I have to work for the next three days, but next Monday, my plan is to hit up city hall, the bank, and Schiller's. In that order. And run down the dream that got away from me.

I leave you, loyal reader, with this: