Current Conditions

Yesterday was a day of firsts.

Johnny called me to meet for lunch/breakfast/brunch. Whichever is the correct classification for being hungover and eating breakfast food at lunchtime. That was the first time we have spoken in two months. I really wasn't sure what to expect, but he was nice to me.

I hung out for the first time with a new boy who is waaay cute. It was almost distracting. I know I was smiling a lot; he was, too. We hit it off really well. The conversation was really great and easy and we have a lot of common interests and ideals. We went to the forest preserve and his dog came along, too! We hiked through the snow to the lagoon and the spillway and saw some ducks and lots of deer tracks. It was really cool b/c of the snow, we could see forever it seemed, into the forest, but no one else was around, and everything was quiet and serene.

I got into my first car accident. With half the streets up here unplowed, sometimes the car just wont stop! The SUV in front of me stopped abruptly at a red light, and i didn't have any chance for traction under my tires. Her car didn't even budge, but mine is fucked! Luckily no one was hurt, but add the car repairs to the ever-growing list of bullshit i have to pay for right now. Good thing I start that second full-time job starting next week?

I made sugar cookies yesterday. This was the first time for this recipe. I think they turned out quite alright! I made stars and trees. I thought I had food coloring, but I didn't so the icing is white, which is fine. Some of the stars were sprinkled with cinnamon and sugar on top, and some of the trees have a red gel glaze decoration on them. I was invited to a party this evening and going to take them to that. We'll see. It's frigid outside, and I kinda just want to stay indoors.

My grade was finally posted on the school website, and I got an A in physics, so that is excellent! I worked my butt off in that class. My presentation on the drag coefficients of swimsuit materials and cuts was excellent, and the time I put into that obviously paid off.

Right now I am not enrolled for next semester, which is disappointing. I am considering putting the tuition on my credit card, but not until a few days before class starts, if there is still a spot available. That way I won't have to pay it off on my card until the end of February.

I still can't work out. I feel like piece of shit. I haven't gained any weight (I'm a Furkin; the genes just won't allow it!), but my arms are noticiably smaller and everything is less tone/hard. I miss cardio the most. I want to run on the treadmill or spin. Get my heart rate up and sweat it out a bit. My booty does have a certain "thwack" to it that wasn't there before. Maybe now the boys will come to the yard?


Current Conditions in Chicago:

air temp - -5F (yeah, that's a "-"sign)
winds - West 25mph
skies - Partly cloudy
facial expression - I am smiling right now.

shitastrophy (shih-TAH-struh-fee)

Current mood:gaseous, windy, farty, tooty...

What I've eaten for lunch and dinner the past 48 hours:

black BEANS.
red BEANS.
kidney BEANS.
split peas.
BROCCOLI.
carrots.
rice.
Italian sausage style seitan.

Turns out, I AM worthy of Jesus’ love.

Current mood: sore

i ate it down the 7 steps of the front stoop last night at 10pm on my way to a house party.

it was totally feet up in the air, tailbone/back breaking my fall, hands cut from scraping the icy concrete, and when i got to the bottom, my feet/legs plowed through the gate.

needless to say, i'm sore as hell right now. its achy all the time, but is only shooting pain when i bend over to pick something up or switch positions lying down.

i'm glad that i decided to not bring that fifth of whisky to the party in a back pack, b/c it would have shattered, and that would have been not just a safety hazard of broken glass gouging into my back, but a damn shame waste of perfectly good whisky.

the party was a lot of fun. i saw a lot of people from out of town and had a good time socializing. i had originally decided to not drink any alcohol (hence opting to leave the whisky at home), but when i arrived, i was immediately offered a beer and immediately accepted offered beer.

as soon as i drank it, i had a feeling similiar to when i was in florida and chris purchased me a beer at 1982. as soon as the alcohol hit my tongue, i felt like all my receptors started screaming, "open up, boys! down the hatch!" it was a sensation like i had been drinking all along and have never stopped; i didn't want to stop. after the first band i ran across the street to purchase my own alcohol for the rest of the evening.

i came back to the party and it burns was setting up. i was very much looking forward to seeing them play! those boys fucking SHREEEEED!! the sound was kinda shitty as it was a house show, but fun none the less. the sass dragons, kevin, aaron, and a few others who knew the songs were up front singing along with me, but most people in attendance (understandibly) did not know the songs.

little carl arrived in time to see the set, and afterwards we hung out for a bit and then i accepted a ride to the mutiny to see hewhocorrupts. ed bought me a beer at the mutiny, and i headed up to the front to watch the ceiling get torn out when the band played. the place was nuts.

my roommate invited me to his church this morning because he was performing some christmas songs at the service. i agreed to go, and this was the first time i have been to church service in a LOOOONG time. like years....at least four.

i arrived about ten minutes early and sat near the back. i felt quite uncomfortable the whole time, but i did enjoy the music. my roommate performed christmas songs along with a full band. there was two guitars, bass, sax, keys, drum kit, and three female backup singers, and one soulful black man on the mic.

there was a guest speaker who gave an excellent sermon. i use the word sermon loosely in this context b/c she mostly spoke about the excitement of the holiday season and discussed the lyrics to the holiday songs that were sung that day. i actually enjoyed her presentation b/c she didn't really preach or call anyone sinners or make [me] feel bad about [myself].

please, friends, don't freak out....i'm not converting or getting born again or anything. i just accepted a invitation from my roommate. he's been trying to introduce me to people and include me in activities, and i decided that i had better accept an invitation before he stops inviting me altogher. i also felt somewhat guilty that i didn't go see him perform at bars other times when he invited me. i figured that today i could spare on hour of my time.

don’t change the channel

Current mood: thankful

surgery was two days ago. finally! i have not enjoyed having it looming out there in my calendar, holding me back with life and other plans i have. i have been doing an excellent job not appearing to be stressed/worried about it by keeping myself occupied with school, work, looking for another job to pay for all this bullshit, and meeting new people and running around this fabulous city!

my doctor was very pleased with how everything was looking. he said that my diet contributed to the procedure being a lot easier than he thought, and the cells hadn't spread as much as he had anticipated.

i am not bleeding today, but there was a freakin' mess yesterday. i am disappointed that i am unable to workout at least until my follow up appointment after the new year, but i feel blessed that i seem to be responding to what the doc is trying to accomplish.

my mom came up to go with me to the appointment. i was so glad she was here. i have missed my family and friends in st. louis so much this fall. i didn't get to go back for thanksgiving, but as of right now, i will be returning for a few days over winter holidays.

my aunt invited me to drive back to dallas with her. i've thought about it. i've also thought about not purchasing a return ticket. i'm kinda worried about the economy. i had to borrow a few hundred from my parents this month. i already know next month will bring the same short-comings.

i lost my glasses on the cta and i had to get new ones. they are purple. i think that look nice in contrast with my blue eyes and dark hair. i need a hair cut. my boy is pretty booked, but i want to wait til a little closer to holidays so it will still be looking good for when i am at home.

physics final is on monday. the semester went by so quickly! i am not enrolled in school for the spring semester, which is discouraging. i'm already behind on my personal timeline, and i would prefer to not miss another semester.

this fall has gone waaaay better than last fall. its night and day. last year i was going to kill myself, and that is the goddamm ugly truth. but winter solstice is only two weeks away. the temp will get much colder, yes, but the darkness is almost maxed out, and then the light! the light!

quitting my job at the dentist office was probably the best move i've made. the immense elephant on my shoulders, stress from that fucking asshole co-worker bullying me everyday for over a year, is lifted and i am more aware now that she is out of my life, how much an adverse effect she had on me. peace of mind is priceless.

i have been making new friends, smiling, cutting jokes, laughing, going to shows, solving the yahoo crossword everyday, keeping my mind occupied.

krissy and i went to memphis and had a good time staying at a sweet hotel with a massive bed with a heavy comforter. we saw graceland and sun studio and beale street and got annoyed with the locals at the show. i counted 42 red-tailed hawks.

also, one of my long time best friends' birthday is tomorrow. we live very far apart now, but we spoke on the phone yesterday and today. the card is in the mail, old friend!

i am smiling right now, thinking of you, old friend, and the time you came to visit me when i had the house in south city and we stayed up late drinking pitchers at the hi pointe. since it is my turn, i promise i will get down to see you before too long, and i will hug you tightly and not let go for a long time!