seriously, suck it! (i'm feeling slightly angsty today). my shit started bleeding again and i really don't feel like doing laundry right now even though i should just handle it right now and be done. and i've got a lot of pentup energy, which is somewhat of a surprise considering my schedule.
this weekend was pretty good.
on friday night i went to some opening at a polish art center way south. rich was displaying his video work. i ended up hanging out with a boy, joe, the whole time. i met joe earlier this week when he and rich worked on some variety/comedy stuff and i taped it. we had a lot in common and enjoyed pleasant conversation the whole evening. he swims a lot and gave me some clementine oranges, and i offered him some cookies that i baked to bring to the opening. i shoulda got them digits before we parted!
on saturday i worked all afternoon. came home made some satisfying lasagna. the bottom layer was just sauce. in retrospect, this is a waste of a layer. like i should put something else with the sauce. for the second layer, i put silken tofu in the blender with garlic, onion, and oregano, until it was creamy and smooth. the third layer was spinach, broccili, and upton's seitan. there was not room for additional layers as the lasagna had breeched the top of the pan. i wrapped the pan in foil and baked in the oven at 350F degrees for one hour.
then i headed to the movies. i finally made it to see "let the right one in." i have been trying to get to this movie since the chicago international film festival was screening it back in november. it was what i thought it would be but also not. i was expecting it to be more terrifying/horror. the story was great, and i was intrigued by the fact that its a swedish film, shot in the 2000s, yet everyone dresses and cuts their hair like its 1982. blows my mind. the main characters were precious. it didn't terrify me, which was actually a relief since i am such a pansy when horror movies are involved, and i found the story to be quite endearing.
after the movie, i made the mistake of opting to take the cta. took 90 minutes to take a train 2 1/2 miles. not exaggerating. would have walked if the temp wasn't as low as it was and if the neighborhood wasn't so sketch. but what's else was i supposed to do? i'm too thrifty to pay a cab fare.
today is sunday. i worked all afternoon and had a bitchin' hunger headache when i got home. made some delicious pizza and some brownies. i was a bit disappointed with the brownies. i'm still perfecting the recipe i use. they are dense, but this particular time, i only used 1c. sugar. i should have put more in b/c the brownies don't taste sweet. they are not gross, but i am aware of the slightly bitter/unsweetened cocoa. they are the perfect moisture content, and this was the first time i've made brownies with a shot of silken tofu instead of the NRG.
shit i am looking forward to this week:
school starts tuesday. thank god. (i actually really enjoy school and am looking forward to the second semester of physics). i am excited to start finishing things up and applying to dental schools and rocking the DAT. schools i am heavily considering and want to make trips to visit within the next year are UIC b/c i actually really like chicago. SIU b/c i really miss my family and friends in stl. Temple, b/c i love philly and the program there is huge into public health, which i am curious about! Temple also offers joint enrollment in the DMD and MBA programs, so i could potentially graduate with two advanced degress in four years. Arizona b/c the southwest is warm and i love running around outside and riding bikes and hiking. Fifth choice is undecided. i've looked into texas, oregon, minnesota, and boston.
tomorrow the measure is playing at ronny's, so my plan is to go see that show, hang out with people, and listen to GLORIA on repeat on the jukebox and not get served alcohol.
wednesday is payday.
i rec'd a coupon for american airlines. i have to fly by 5/15/09. thats still kinda far in the future, but i before i know it, it'll be spring around here. i might head to dallas to kick it with aunt patty, or go to philly or maybe nashville for a few days.
my sis and i are plotting to get to switzerland this summer so we can gorde ourselves with rich chocolates, blow those massive horn pipes on a mountainside, churn some butter, purchase coo coo clocks, and learn about our heritage; meet some other furkins. (our paternal grandmother was telling me about this, how our family's trade was butter churners. and a furkin is a barrel for storing butter. its also sometimes used in reference to a barrel for beer, and there is a brewery in england by the name of firkin.)
i'm still not doing any cardio, which frustrates the hell out of me, but i do squats in the am and pm as i'm brushing my teeth but i am slightly insane! my arms are so tiny. i have lost a lot of muscle mass, but i am still very toned all over, especially triceps and abs.
we're watching the SNL inaguration bash right now. its pretty hilarious. especially the bill clinton stuff, and of course fey as palin.
i also found $5 on the ground. i used $2.38 to buy four bananas and one can of pineapple chunks in their own juice.
currently:
i am not cold.
but i am lonely.
i haven't cried since wednesday, which occurred (just A LITTLE bit) when i was in my car on the way to second full time job and i was overwhelmed by a song that was on the radio and i missed some one who is very far away right now.
i am in a somewhat pissy mood.
but i don't hate myself anymore.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
"shabu! shabu!"
today i learned how to eat with chopsticks! it was so easy! i guess i never had a good teacher before. right away i was picking up bok choy, cabbage, spinach, carrots, broccoli, eggplant, noddles, and tofu and dipping into the apple and peanut sauces!
i also got my car back from the auto body repair shop. i got new headlights and blinkers (even though the front blink was out for months before the wreck). they also put in a new rearview mirror. the old one fell out in the summer of 2006 when i was living in stl. the day was incredibly hot and the adhesive gave. i had been driving without one ever since. the shop also put on a new hood, and painted my car to blend! it's so shiny! and they detailed the inside!!
it smells like new car in there, and i would think that it was if i didn't know any better! only cost $250!
i will admit that was kind of hoping that they were just going to total it and give me a lump sum and then i wouldn't have to deal with having a car. i ended up driving to work today, and parking in my spot in the covered, heated, underground garage. i plan on leaving it there except for school so i don't have to dig it out of the snow and slide around on unplowed streets. i prefer tuning out on the north line compared to sitting in gridlock anyday, anyway.
i baked some really good chocolate chip cookies yesterday. they are delicious! i've got a nice recipe for a strawberry torte i'm going to try later this week.
we're watching movies right now.
'welcome to the dollhouse' = most favorite
"dawn, you are not leaving this table until you tell your sister that you love her!"
i also got my car back from the auto body repair shop. i got new headlights and blinkers (even though the front blink was out for months before the wreck). they also put in a new rearview mirror. the old one fell out in the summer of 2006 when i was living in stl. the day was incredibly hot and the adhesive gave. i had been driving without one ever since. the shop also put on a new hood, and painted my car to blend! it's so shiny! and they detailed the inside!!
it smells like new car in there, and i would think that it was if i didn't know any better! only cost $250!
i will admit that was kind of hoping that they were just going to total it and give me a lump sum and then i wouldn't have to deal with having a car. i ended up driving to work today, and parking in my spot in the covered, heated, underground garage. i plan on leaving it there except for school so i don't have to dig it out of the snow and slide around on unplowed streets. i prefer tuning out on the north line compared to sitting in gridlock anyday, anyway.
i baked some really good chocolate chip cookies yesterday. they are delicious! i've got a nice recipe for a strawberry torte i'm going to try later this week.
we're watching movies right now.
'welcome to the dollhouse' = most favorite
"dawn, you are not leaving this table until you tell your sister that you love her!"
Sunday, January 4, 2009
what the fuck is wrong with boys in chicago?
Current mood: 
amused
amused2008 was a year a lot of people were anxious to put behind them. while 2008 was full of a lot of bullshit for me as well (the month of september can just fall into the ocean and die), and i am going to list all the cool shit that happened in 2008.
january: highlight of this month was the tbr release show at reggies' at the end of the month. i also started school at oakton for the dental science pre-reqs, taking bio and chem. my lab partner and i set the shit out of that curve each test! ha!
february: i spent a lot of time kickin' it with tercha. i headed back to stl for an extended weekend, which included going to the way out for my birthday. lucas' band was playing, and krissy came out and enjoyed a round with me. got more of my leg worked on.
march: headed out to reggies again with andy and a new boy to see the vandals. holy shit, was a great show that was! they played all songs from live fast, anarchy burger, and hitler bad. it was so much fun. little carl was there, and frank, too!
at the end of the month, copyright and tbr played reggies' again for their tour kickoff show.
april: headed back east for an extended weekend to see ergs/weston reunion show at the khyber. best makeout 2008 occured in a philly bathroom. sometimes the people you least expect have the ability to surprise the shit out of you! i headed down to baltimore and enjoyed some warm spring weather and saw the copyrights and tbr at the side bar. i blogged about that trip, too.
may: finished up school. rec'd A's in both classes, no surprise. i really enjoyed chemistry class. i liked the labs and measuring and mixing the chemicals. i also like how everything is accounted for, like shit just doesn't appear out of nowhere or disappear. also in may, the queers played ina reggies'. went to that and some dude out front gave me a ticket so i didn't pay to get in. sang all the ghoulie songs with little carl, then ran into pat and andy and sang along for the queers songs. the show was fun.
went back to stl for bro's h.s. graduation.
june: sis came into town. went to the art institute and kicked it around in evanston. she rolled in with two suitcases and eight pair of shoes for a 36 hours visit. went to humbolt to play kickball and get down on some temptation cones. was first picked in kickball, and the team i was on won the game.
july: paid time off, fool! spent like 15 days in minnesota barnstorming with randall. took megabus to mpls on july 4th to catch D4 and off with their heads at the triple rock, where i ran into cutie pie and said hello to him and his girl. the return plane to chicago with brian almost went down on take off, so we stuck around in mpls waiting for the repairs. flew up to the headwaters, went to a public pool that had crazy slides, canoe on the st. croix WWII bombers air show, science museum, firewords, getting stupid drunk, barnstorming all over iows, minnesota, and wisconsin, viewing extreme thunder storms, tomahawk tomahawk tow crew out of the runway with the big boys! i loved how light it was even at 10pm during the summer!
here are pics from that trip:
August: OFFICIALLY RIPPED!! Highlights include mauled by tigers, swimming, karen's 30bday party, staying up too late to watch the olympics.
October: good shows including screaming females, off with their heads, vitamin x, and riot fest for methadones, tbr, and ergs! sis came to visit, this time with one pair of shoes but eight hoodies. also went to k.c. to visit mawmaw and pawpaw. drove back to stl with sis. we listened to delilah the whole way b/c that was the only thing we could agree on, and she laughed at how i knew all the words to all those silly songs!
this is a pic of me and g-ma in k.c. after having our fill at eden alley:
also in october, i went to fest in gainesville and holy shit that swampy experience was the best fucking weekend of my pathetic fucking life!!!
november: spent a lot of time out of town. went back to stl and got the some more of octopussy filled in. visited my bro's new house, which is RIGHT next to the cemetary. seriously, the headstones are like twenty feet from the back door. apparently they've had two "ghost" encounters. but they also smoke A SHIT-TON of weed.
went to memphis with krissy for her birthday. i drove her nuts by counting out loud every single red tailed hawk i spotted on the way (42). memphis was cool, and not just because of the freezing temps! we went to graceland, which was actually was awesome and not even close to being as cheesy as i thought it would be. hit up beale street and also saw sun studio; the tour guides were some VERY annoying locals we encountered at the show the previous night, but the tour was very informative and interesting.
here's us in a photobooth at graceland:
went out to rockford for thanksgiving on the invitation of my roommate. had a nice time with his family. we played a hilarious game of charades. i ate some lentil pumpkin soup and some cake i made.
december: finished up the first semester of physics. received an A, which i had to work my tail off for.
good shows included harms way/conviected/kings of summer at fubar. good to see bob and his new place doing well. aaaand...tim clarkson is fine as hell! i suspected that he was working out, something he has always denied when i inquired, but greg confrimed that yes, he had been running often and seeing a trainer once a week. also went to see it burns at the lucky gator. those dudes are fun to see perform. spent a lot of time in stl over holidays. my sis wanted to adopt a needy family through the church, but my mom said that they were going to adopt me, so i rec'd a bunch i stuff i actually needed, like grocery cards, food, socks, underwear, warm sweaters and shirts. cash-ola to pay the billZzZ.
went ice skating with the family. fun times. we were a tad unsteady the first few laps but were zomming and crossing over our legs on the turns within a quarter hour. dang zamboni came out and then we had to go in the opposite direction!
NYE was spent filling in for rich last minute to tape a show at bottom lounge. i agreed but immediately regretted it. but turned out i actually enjoyed the bands and everyone was nice and made me feel comfortable/welcome. i hope this can turn into additional production work.
in 2008, i seemed to be written off by one boy who i was friends with for a few years, and he only recently contacted me. i also went on dates with five new boys, four of which never even contacted me in any way afterward, despite the date going well. one i am in still in contact with, but in a friends only basis, which is fine with me. maybe boys in chicago just aren't into busty, leggy broads who are down to go to shows and ride bikes to get shakes. who knows what the fuck is wrong with boys (not just) in chicago?
"no complaints from this girl!"
then i read this for my daily horoscope on 12-31-08:
You are on the threshold of a major shift in your life as joyful Jupiter enters your sign next week to spend most of 2009 expanding your world. But you must be willing to change and to grow in order to make the most of whatever opportunities are offered. This can be challenging for you if you are reluctant to let go of the past. Don't hold on to what you have or you won't be able to grab on to what comes next.
january: highlight of this month was the tbr release show at reggies' at the end of the month. i also started school at oakton for the dental science pre-reqs, taking bio and chem. my lab partner and i set the shit out of that curve each test! ha!
february: i spent a lot of time kickin' it with tercha. i headed back to stl for an extended weekend, which included going to the way out for my birthday. lucas' band was playing, and krissy came out and enjoyed a round with me. got more of my leg worked on.
march: headed out to reggies again with andy and a new boy to see the vandals. holy shit, was a great show that was! they played all songs from live fast, anarchy burger, and hitler bad. it was so much fun. little carl was there, and frank, too!
at the end of the month, copyright and tbr played reggies' again for their tour kickoff show.
april: headed back east for an extended weekend to see ergs/weston reunion show at the khyber. best makeout 2008 occured in a philly bathroom. sometimes the people you least expect have the ability to surprise the shit out of you! i headed down to baltimore and enjoyed some warm spring weather and saw the copyrights and tbr at the side bar. i blogged about that trip, too.
may: finished up school. rec'd A's in both classes, no surprise. i really enjoyed chemistry class. i liked the labs and measuring and mixing the chemicals. i also like how everything is accounted for, like shit just doesn't appear out of nowhere or disappear. also in may, the queers played ina reggies'. went to that and some dude out front gave me a ticket so i didn't pay to get in. sang all the ghoulie songs with little carl, then ran into pat and andy and sang along for the queers songs. the show was fun.
went back to stl for bro's h.s. graduation.
june: sis came into town. went to the art institute and kicked it around in evanston. she rolled in with two suitcases and eight pair of shoes for a 36 hours visit. went to humbolt to play kickball and get down on some temptation cones. was first picked in kickball, and the team i was on won the game.
july: paid time off, fool! spent like 15 days in minnesota barnstorming with randall. took megabus to mpls on july 4th to catch D4 and off with their heads at the triple rock, where i ran into cutie pie and said hello to him and his girl. the return plane to chicago with brian almost went down on take off, so we stuck around in mpls waiting for the repairs. flew up to the headwaters, went to a public pool that had crazy slides, canoe on the st. croix WWII bombers air show, science museum, firewords, getting stupid drunk, barnstorming all over iows, minnesota, and wisconsin, viewing extreme thunder storms, tomahawk tomahawk tow crew out of the runway with the big boys! i loved how light it was even at 10pm during the summer!
here are pics from that trip:
August: OFFICIALLY RIPPED!! Highlights include mauled by tigers, swimming, karen's 30bday party, staying up too late to watch the olympics.
October: good shows including screaming females, off with their heads, vitamin x, and riot fest for methadones, tbr, and ergs! sis came to visit, this time with one pair of shoes but eight hoodies. also went to k.c. to visit mawmaw and pawpaw. drove back to stl with sis. we listened to delilah the whole way b/c that was the only thing we could agree on, and she laughed at how i knew all the words to all those silly songs!
this is a pic of me and g-ma in k.c. after having our fill at eden alley:
also in october, i went to fest in gainesville and holy shit that swampy experience was the best fucking weekend of my pathetic fucking life!!!
november: spent a lot of time out of town. went back to stl and got the some more of octopussy filled in. visited my bro's new house, which is RIGHT next to the cemetary. seriously, the headstones are like twenty feet from the back door. apparently they've had two "ghost" encounters. but they also smoke A SHIT-TON of weed.
went to memphis with krissy for her birthday. i drove her nuts by counting out loud every single red tailed hawk i spotted on the way (42). memphis was cool, and not just because of the freezing temps! we went to graceland, which was actually was awesome and not even close to being as cheesy as i thought it would be. hit up beale street and also saw sun studio; the tour guides were some VERY annoying locals we encountered at the show the previous night, but the tour was very informative and interesting.
here's us in a photobooth at graceland:
went out to rockford for thanksgiving on the invitation of my roommate. had a nice time with his family. we played a hilarious game of charades. i ate some lentil pumpkin soup and some cake i made.
december: finished up the first semester of physics. received an A, which i had to work my tail off for.
good shows included harms way/conviected/kings of summer at fubar. good to see bob and his new place doing well. aaaand...tim clarkson is fine as hell! i suspected that he was working out, something he has always denied when i inquired, but greg confrimed that yes, he had been running often and seeing a trainer once a week. also went to see it burns at the lucky gator. those dudes are fun to see perform. spent a lot of time in stl over holidays. my sis wanted to adopt a needy family through the church, but my mom said that they were going to adopt me, so i rec'd a bunch i stuff i actually needed, like grocery cards, food, socks, underwear, warm sweaters and shirts. cash-ola to pay the billZzZ.
went ice skating with the family. fun times. we were a tad unsteady the first few laps but were zomming and crossing over our legs on the turns within a quarter hour. dang zamboni came out and then we had to go in the opposite direction!
NYE was spent filling in for rich last minute to tape a show at bottom lounge. i agreed but immediately regretted it. but turned out i actually enjoyed the bands and everyone was nice and made me feel comfortable/welcome. i hope this can turn into additional production work.
in 2008, i seemed to be written off by one boy who i was friends with for a few years, and he only recently contacted me. i also went on dates with five new boys, four of which never even contacted me in any way afterward, despite the date going well. one i am in still in contact with, but in a friends only basis, which is fine with me. maybe boys in chicago just aren't into busty, leggy broads who are down to go to shows and ride bikes to get shakes. who knows what the fuck is wrong with boys (not just) in chicago?
"no complaints from this girl!"
then i read this for my daily horoscope on 12-31-08:
You are on the threshold of a major shift in your life as joyful Jupiter enters your sign next week to spend most of 2009 expanding your world. But you must be willing to change and to grow in order to make the most of whatever opportunities are offered. This can be challenging for you if you are reluctant to let go of the past. Don't hold on to what you have or you won't be able to grab on to what comes next.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Current Conditions
Yesterday was a day of firsts.
Johnny called me to meet for lunch/breakfast/brunch. Whichever is the correct classification for being hungover and eating breakfast food at lunchtime. That was the first time we have spoken in two months. I really wasn't sure what to expect, but he was nice to me.
I hung out for the first time with a new boy who is waaay cute. It was almost distracting. I know I was smiling a lot; he was, too. We hit it off really well. The conversation was really great and easy and we have a lot of common interests and ideals. We went to the forest preserve and his dog came along, too! We hiked through the snow to the lagoon and the spillway and saw some ducks and lots of deer tracks. It was really cool b/c of the snow, we could see forever it seemed, into the forest, but no one else was around, and everything was quiet and serene.
I got into my first car accident. With half the streets up here unplowed, sometimes the car just wont stop! The SUV in front of me stopped abruptly at a red light, and i didn't have any chance for traction under my tires. Her car didn't even budge, but mine is fucked! Luckily no one was hurt, but add the car repairs to the ever-growing list of bullshit i have to pay for right now. Good thing I start that second full-time job starting next week?
I made sugar cookies yesterday. This was the first time for this recipe. I think they turned out quite alright! I made stars and trees. I thought I had food coloring, but I didn't so the icing is white, which is fine. Some of the stars were sprinkled with cinnamon and sugar on top, and some of the trees have a red gel glaze decoration on them. I was invited to a party this evening and going to take them to that. We'll see. It's frigid outside, and I kinda just want to stay indoors.
My grade was finally posted on the school website, and I got an A in physics, so that is excellent! I worked my butt off in that class. My presentation on the drag coefficients of swimsuit materials and cuts was excellent, and the time I put into that obviously paid off.
Right now I am not enrolled for next semester, which is disappointing. I am considering putting the tuition on my credit card, but not until a few days before class starts, if there is still a spot available. That way I won't have to pay it off on my card until the end of February.
I still can't work out. I feel like piece of shit. I haven't gained any weight (I'm a Furkin; the genes just won't allow it!), but my arms are noticiably smaller and everything is less tone/hard. I miss cardio the most. I want to run on the treadmill or spin. Get my heart rate up and sweat it out a bit. My booty does have a certain "thwack" to it that wasn't there before. Maybe now the boys will come to the yard?
Current Conditions in Chicago:
air temp - -5F (yeah, that's a "-"sign)
winds - West 25mph
skies - Partly cloudy
facial expression - I am smiling right now.
Johnny called me to meet for lunch/breakfast/brunch. Whichever is the correct classification for being hungover and eating breakfast food at lunchtime. That was the first time we have spoken in two months. I really wasn't sure what to expect, but he was nice to me.
I hung out for the first time with a new boy who is waaay cute. It was almost distracting. I know I was smiling a lot; he was, too. We hit it off really well. The conversation was really great and easy and we have a lot of common interests and ideals. We went to the forest preserve and his dog came along, too! We hiked through the snow to the lagoon and the spillway and saw some ducks and lots of deer tracks. It was really cool b/c of the snow, we could see forever it seemed, into the forest, but no one else was around, and everything was quiet and serene.
I got into my first car accident. With half the streets up here unplowed, sometimes the car just wont stop! The SUV in front of me stopped abruptly at a red light, and i didn't have any chance for traction under my tires. Her car didn't even budge, but mine is fucked! Luckily no one was hurt, but add the car repairs to the ever-growing list of bullshit i have to pay for right now. Good thing I start that second full-time job starting next week?
I made sugar cookies yesterday. This was the first time for this recipe. I think they turned out quite alright! I made stars and trees. I thought I had food coloring, but I didn't so the icing is white, which is fine. Some of the stars were sprinkled with cinnamon and sugar on top, and some of the trees have a red gel glaze decoration on them. I was invited to a party this evening and going to take them to that. We'll see. It's frigid outside, and I kinda just want to stay indoors.
My grade was finally posted on the school website, and I got an A in physics, so that is excellent! I worked my butt off in that class. My presentation on the drag coefficients of swimsuit materials and cuts was excellent, and the time I put into that obviously paid off.
Right now I am not enrolled for next semester, which is disappointing. I am considering putting the tuition on my credit card, but not until a few days before class starts, if there is still a spot available. That way I won't have to pay it off on my card until the end of February.
I still can't work out. I feel like piece of shit. I haven't gained any weight (I'm a Furkin; the genes just won't allow it!), but my arms are noticiably smaller and everything is less tone/hard. I miss cardio the most. I want to run on the treadmill or spin. Get my heart rate up and sweat it out a bit. My booty does have a certain "thwack" to it that wasn't there before. Maybe now the boys will come to the yard?
Current Conditions in Chicago:
air temp - -5F (yeah, that's a "-"sign)
winds - West 25mph
skies - Partly cloudy
facial expression - I am smiling right now.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
shitastrophy (shih-TAH-struh-fee)
Current mood:gaseous, windy, farty, tooty...
What I've eaten for lunch and dinner the past 48 hours:
black BEANS.
red BEANS.
kidney BEANS.
split peas.
BROCCOLI.
carrots.
rice.
Italian sausage style seitan.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Turns out, I AM worthy of Jesus’ love.
Current mood: 
sore
sore i ate it down the 7 steps of the front stoop last night at 10pm on my way to a house party.
it was totally feet up in the air, tailbone/back breaking my fall, hands cut from scraping the icy concrete, and when i got to the bottom, my feet/legs plowed through the gate.
needless to say, i'm sore as hell right now. its achy all the time, but is only shooting pain when i bend over to pick something up or switch positions lying down.
i'm glad that i decided to not bring that fifth of whisky to the party in a back pack, b/c it would have shattered, and that would have been not just a safety hazard of broken glass gouging into my back, but a damn shame waste of perfectly good whisky.
the party was a lot of fun. i saw a lot of people from out of town and had a good time socializing. i had originally decided to not drink any alcohol (hence opting to leave the whisky at home), but when i arrived, i was immediately offered a beer and immediately accepted offered beer.
as soon as i drank it, i had a feeling similiar to when i was in florida and chris purchased me a beer at 1982. as soon as the alcohol hit my tongue, i felt like all my receptors started screaming, "open up, boys! down the hatch!" it was a sensation like i had been drinking all along and have never stopped; i didn't want to stop. after the first band i ran across the street to purchase my own alcohol for the rest of the evening.
i came back to the party and it burns was setting up. i was very much looking forward to seeing them play! those boys fucking SHREEEEED!! the sound was kinda shitty as it was a house show, but fun none the less. the sass dragons, kevin, aaron, and a few others who knew the songs were up front singing along with me, but most people in attendance (understandibly) did not know the songs.
little carl arrived in time to see the set, and afterwards we hung out for a bit and then i accepted a ride to the mutiny to see hewhocorrupts. ed bought me a beer at the mutiny, and i headed up to the front to watch the ceiling get torn out when the band played. the place was nuts.
my roommate invited me to his church this morning because he was performing some christmas songs at the service. i agreed to go, and this was the first time i have been to church service in a LOOOONG time. like years....at least four.
i arrived about ten minutes early and sat near the back. i felt quite uncomfortable the whole time, but i did enjoy the music. my roommate performed christmas songs along with a full band. there was two guitars, bass, sax, keys, drum kit, and three female backup singers, and one soulful black man on the mic.
there was a guest speaker who gave an excellent sermon. i use the word sermon loosely in this context b/c she mostly spoke about the excitement of the holiday season and discussed the lyrics to the holiday songs that were sung that day. i actually enjoyed her presentation b/c she didn't really preach or call anyone sinners or make [me] feel bad about [myself].
please, friends, don't freak out....i'm not converting or getting born again or anything. i just accepted a invitation from my roommate. he's been trying to introduce me to people and include me in activities, and i decided that i had better accept an invitation before he stops inviting me altogher. i also felt somewhat guilty that i didn't go see him perform at bars other times when he invited me. i figured that today i could spare on hour of my time.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
don’t change the channel
Current mood: 
thankful
thankful surgery was two days ago. finally! i have not enjoyed having it looming out there in my calendar, holding me back with life and other plans i have. i have been doing an excellent job not appearing to be stressed/worried about it by keeping myself occupied with school, work, looking for another job to pay for all this bullshit, and meeting new people and running around this fabulous city!
my doctor was very pleased with how everything was looking. he said that my diet contributed to the procedure being a lot easier than he thought, and the cells hadn't spread as much as he had anticipated.
i am not bleeding today, but there was a freakin' mess yesterday. i am disappointed that i am unable to workout at least until my follow up appointment after the new year, but i feel blessed that i seem to be responding to what the doc is trying to accomplish.
my mom came up to go with me to the appointment. i was so glad she was here. i have missed my family and friends in st. louis so much this fall. i didn't get to go back for thanksgiving, but as of right now, i will be returning for a few days over winter holidays.
my aunt invited me to drive back to dallas with her. i've thought about it. i've also thought about not purchasing a return ticket. i'm kinda worried about the economy. i had to borrow a few hundred from my parents this month. i already know next month will bring the same short-comings.
i lost my glasses on the cta and i had to get new ones. they are purple. i think that look nice in contrast with my blue eyes and dark hair. i need a hair cut. my boy is pretty booked, but i want to wait til a little closer to holidays so it will still be looking good for when i am at home.
physics final is on monday. the semester went by so quickly! i am not enrolled in school for the spring semester, which is discouraging. i'm already behind on my personal timeline, and i would prefer to not miss another semester.
this fall has gone waaaay better than last fall. its night and day. last year i was going to kill myself, and that is the goddamm ugly truth. but winter solstice is only two weeks away. the temp will get much colder, yes, but the darkness is almost maxed out, and then the light! the light!
quitting my job at the dentist office was probably the best move i've made. the immense elephant on my shoulders, stress from that fucking asshole co-worker bullying me everyday for over a year, is lifted and i am more aware now that she is out of my life, how much an adverse effect she had on me. peace of mind is priceless.
i have been making new friends, smiling, cutting jokes, laughing, going to shows, solving the yahoo crossword everyday, keeping my mind occupied.
krissy and i went to memphis and had a good time staying at a sweet hotel with a massive bed with a heavy comforter. we saw graceland and sun studio and beale street and got annoyed with the locals at the show. i counted 42 red-tailed hawks.
also, one of my long time best friends' birthday is tomorrow. we live very far apart now, but we spoke on the phone yesterday and today. the card is in the mail, old friend!
i am smiling right now, thinking of you, old friend, and the time you came to visit me when i had the house in south city and we stayed up late drinking pitchers at the hi pointe. since it is my turn, i promise i will get down to see you before too long, and i will hug you tightly and not let go for a long time!
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